1. After the sister-in-law took a bath, she came out wrapped in a bath towel. I looked at her carefully, and she was a little shy. I smiled and asked, "Do you feel like you've become beautiful after washing your hair?" The sister-in-law was stunned for a moment, looked at the mirror in confusion, and said: "It seems a little!" I nodded my head in agreement and said, "Yeah, as soon as my head gets into the water, of course my thoughts are different!" ”
2. The first time I slept with my boyfriend, I hid in the bed and didn't dare to come out. My boyfriend saw that I was unwilling and embarrassed to force me, so we fell asleep at a long distance. At night, suddenly the boyfriend said that this life is so short. At that time, I slipped into his arms and asked him shyly: Have you ever fought for anyone? As a result, the boyfriend came to say: My stomach has been frozen for an hour, and I don't cover the quilt anymore, and I guess I really have diarrhea.
1. The first time I went to my boyfriend's house, I found that his parents seemed to be dissatisfied with me.
I thought that I was going to be yellow anyway, and I couldn't come in vain, and at noon I tore a pot of pork head meat cooked by his house and dried it up.
On the way back, I looked at my boyfriend sadly and said: Let's break up.
He looked surprised: Why? Our mother has a crush on you! Saying that we have hated her craftsmanship for so many years, no one has ever been able to eat her stewed meat so fragrant, so unspicious daughter-in-law ugly is ugly, admit it!
2. Accidentally hit 5000 more money transfers to female customers, just want to explain to her clearly that the money will be returned, who expected her to reply immediately: so polite, come to my house at night, please have dinner to thank you!
As soon as I listened, my heart was dripping blood, and I was embarrassed to offend the customer, so I could only harden my scalp and jokingly replied: I want to eat meat.
The female customer sent a message after a while: I didn't see it, you were quite direct. that...... Not seen at night.
So in order to make up for the loss, I was hungry for a noon, and after work, I packed up properly, and I went to the female client's house early.
As soon as I entered the house, I was dumbfounded, the female client wore a charming dress, feminine makeup, and there was already a good steak and red wine on the table. I was a little surprised and said, "I didn't expect to bother so much."
The female client bowed her head shyly: "I am concerned about what you said"
The candlelight flickered, and I had a good conversation with my female client. Soon she was a little drunk, and then she got up and came up to me and said, "It's time to eat meat." I looked at the steak on the table that had been eaten by me a little confused...
Until she pulled me straight to the bedroom...
3. My flight attendant girlfriend had to get married in a villa, and I used the money from my parents' lifelong part-time job to buy a large villa in the suburbs. Recently planned to renovate this villa, but my father and I have different opinions. We argued at home for a while, and then slowly we quarreled. In the end, the mother came forward to resolve the dispute. She only said one sentence: "Our family's money is not in your father's pocket, what are you arguing with him?" ”
4. A week ago, I just got my driver's license. This is my brother once drove on the road, the object honestly sat on my co-pilot, has been praising me for driving steadily, brother once drove so well, especially a sense of achievement! When the car stopped, I asked, "Husband, why do you sweat so much?" He said, "I... I'm a little cold right now..."
5. The doctors who stayed in the hospital during the New Year were idle. On this day, I went to the hospital to check for skin problems, and all the doctors in the clinic looked at me. The last few doctors have come to the conclusion that there should be skin problems because of fat sweating and oily breathability. After the doctor read it, he pushed me !!!!!!!! Recommended endocrinology, looked at the endocrinology department, the endocrinologist pushed me again!! Recommend nutrition department to let me lose weight. Just like that, I ran to the nutrition department again, and the nutrition doctor sat with me for a morning and told me how to lose weight!
6. On my wedding day, my father personally opened the door to send me to my mother-in-law's house. Usually 20 minutes away Dad drove for an hour.
I asked Dad: Dad, how come you drive so slowly! Dad said, "I'm driving so slowly because I want to stay with you a little longer."
I kissed him several times, and then talked to my father about it, and my father said: "At that time, I felt that the back was too heavy, and I couldn't hold my head in the direction, and for our safety, I could only open slowly."
7. As the boss of the company, I made a table of dishes for my wife for the wedding anniversary, but I didn't expect my wife to vomit after taking a bite. I was very surprised: you can't have it, right? Wife: Although I also think it is true, it should not be. Me: Then why do you want to throw up? Wife: It's not that the dishes you made are too bad to eat, I really want to throw up.
8. I used to drive my girlfriend's fit and accidentally hit the streetlight. The policy showed a loss of 77,000, and Ping An Insurance said the vehicle was scrapped to 77,000. The garage bid 80,000, all kinds of full of routines, I don't know how to operate. In addition, it is not my own car, and I am afraid of trouble and directly hand it over to the insurance company. Later, I asked my girlfriend to know that his car ran 9,000 kilometers, which was quite valuable.
9. These two days somehow, the legs are particularly sore. My dad heard people say that soaking feet in hot water can alleviate it, so he boiled a large pot of boiling water. As a result, I stretched out my feet and screamed hot. My dad reached out for the dating software water temperature, : where is hot, hurry up and soak while it is hot, the effect is good! Say grab my foot and press it into the water... Later, my whole foot was burned like a red pig's trotter...
10. The brother-in-law and his sister were engaged and bought a new house in Tomson Yipin, which was 100,000 yuan. Unexpectedly, the mother-in-law transferred 100,000 yuan to her brother-in-law with Alipay the next day. So the brother-in-law bought a house of 1800,000, and also bought 2 large toy pigs wrapped in bamboo charcoal, and put them on the sofa to absorb formaldehyde. One day, Dad and Mom came to visit the house. The second elder sat on the sofa drinking tea, and his mother suddenly asked: "This new house has formaldehyde, have you put anything to suck it?" Need to buy greenery? The brother-in-law said without hesitation: "Yes, there are two pigs sitting on the sofa helping to take drugs..."
#Funny Famous Scene of the Year # #搞笑段子 #