Once, when I took a train sleeper, the upper bunk was a young woman, and she looked good. At night, there were only two of us in the whole train room, and the young woman seemed to be a little frightened, so she climbed down from above, and then said to me, you are a good person at first glance, you should not have any thoughts about me, right? I was surprised and said, good people also like beautiful women, you look so beautiful, I have ideas about you is a very normal thing. The beautiful woman said helplessly, then do you have a wife? I shook my head and said, I haven't married yet, and she asked again, do you have a girlfriend? I shook my head and said my first love was still there. She sighed and said, this is deep in the middle of the night, there are only two of us in the whole sleeper private room, you will definitely bully me, forget it, I will still be your girlfriend directly. I have a girlfriend for no reason, and I am quite dizzy, but this is also very good, and finally ended the single state. After getting off the train, I took her to a big meal, bought her jewelry bags and clothes, and her mood was obviously better, she smiled and said, I didn't expect you to be rich. I shook my head and said, I have worked for so many years, I have only saved tens of thousands of dollars, and today I spent all of it on you. She looked at me with a complicated look and said, You are really good to me, but your money has been spent, what should we do in the future? It's impossible to drink the northwest wind, right?
1. The eldest sister-in-law is very beautiful. Divorced today. Move to my house. After dinner in the evening, the eldest sister-in-law wants to take a bath. My wife was afraid that I would peek at my sister-in-law taking a bath and told me to go out and hang out. I said indignantly, Am I that kind of person? Then I went out the door breathlessly. Just after arriving at the door of the community, a strange young woman pulled me aside. The young woman said that she had come here for a tour, and that her mobile phone and wallet had been stolen. Tell me to do well and lend her 50 bucks. She was hungry and wanted to have dinner. I was surprised and said, does it cost 50 yuan for dinner? I'll give you ten bucks, there's a bun shop over there, two bucks for a meat bun, and you can buy five. The young woman nodded and said, ten dollars is also OK.?
2. When I first met my daughter-in-law, my daughter-in-law was only more than 90 pounds, and after that she was able to eat more and more, and now she is more than 200 pounds late. Yesterday, my daughter-in-law didn't know who said that swimming can lose weight, and the effect is good, so she decided to try it. After returning home, my daughter-in-law discussed with me: I wanted to learn to swim, and I heard that swimming can lose weight. I immediately objected: Honey, don't waste money, that's all a lie, you don't see whales swimming in the sea every day, aren't you still so fat!
3. The cousin's company went bankrupt, and then said to his daughter-in-law: "Baby, I am now bankrupt, and BMW is expected to be replaced by Volkswagen." His daughter-in-law: "It's all right." The cousin said: "The villa is estimated to be unable to live, and it seems that it can live in the urban village again." His daughter-in-law: "It's okay!!!! His daughter-in-law continued: "Don't be so stressed, the company I gave you is only a branch, which only proves that you are not suitable to be the boss!!!! The cousin was moved and unable to speak.
4. There is a new Wal-Mart near the mother-in-law's house, and after eating in the evening, I pull the old man to join in the fun. The old man saw the special price of the steel wire balls that brushed the bowls, and he wanted to buy a few. But the mother-in-law's ideas are inconsistent, and she has to buy sponges. The two argued, and the old man's violent temper came up! The old man directly slapped himself in the face and asked her: Do you brush the bowl or I brush the bowl? The mother-in-law heard this and silently nodded her head in agreement...
5. Female colleagues asked me to borrow money, and I said I didn't bring any money. She asked breathlessly, "Why don't you bring money to work?" I also replied breathlessly: "The money is in the phone!" The female colleague asked breathlessly: "Can't borrow it in the mobile phone?" I exhaled even more: "The money in the mobile phone moves, and the daughter-in-law knows it all!" The female colleague said: "I misread you, for your daughter-in-law actually did this to me!" I immediately became angry and retorted, "You think you can just borrow money and move your mouth?" ”
.. My girlfriend and I talked for over a year, and because his parents didn't agree, we separated. Just a year after the breakup, she suddenly met her father on the street. Although I didn't mind when I was there, I politely handed over a Chinese cigarette. Her father took two sips and said: You can be so successful, I really did not expect ah, I calculated that your boy is a life to eat, afraid of daughter suffering, so I will not let her follow you. But I never expected that I would make so much money now!
7. Father's Day is coming, my cousin has just paid his salary, and he wants to buy a pair of shoes for his uncle. But the cousin never paid attention to the size of his uncle, and wanted to surprise his uncle, and in the end, he could only call his aunt to ask how big his feet were. After listening to the reason, the aunt hesitated for a moment and said, "He has a lot of shoes at home, don't buy them!" The cousin was very touched to hear it, and the aunt began to feel sorry that it was not easy for the cousin to earn money, and did not want the cousin to break the fee. Just wanted to say that it was okay, the aunt continued: "Your father picked very much, will not wear, unlike me, I never pick, buy me what I wear..." Well, my cousin seems to understand something!
8. The goddess girlfriend was admitted to Xi'an Jiaotong University with a score of 750 points, and was recruited by Foxconn as the front desk after graduation. Later, because the salary was too small to repay the mortgage, the girlfriend resigned and went to work in an electronics factory. Within a few days of work, there was a little brother with a super good look in the workshop. After spending a few days with him, the girlfriend found herself in love with him. But the girlfriend is a girl, and it is not easy to express love to him directly. After thinking about it for a long time, the girlfriend plucked up the courage to say to him: "I heard that the brother who gave birth to a boy is a mother with a high IQ, and the girl who gives birth to a girl is a father with a high IQ, do you dare to cooperate with me once, comparing iq to iq?" So, the girlfriend was beaten!
#Funny Famous Scene of the Year # #搞笑段子 #