1. There is a female colleague in the company who owes me ten thousand yuan, every time I look for her, every time I drop a sentence: I don't want money, and someone can give it to you. Every time I wondered: What use do I want you to use you for a big living person? This no, the female colleague came to me again, I thought she figured out the money for me, did not expect the female colleague to say: Brother, discuss with you about a matter of no, you see, I do not have so much money to pay you back for the time being, otherwise, I will give you a girlfriend, and then pay you back the money in installments until it is paid off.
I thought to myself: if the money is not returned, I can change my girlfriend and go home, so I agreed. That night she stayed at my house with her luggage. But she didn't break her promise, and every day before I went out, she would throw me a ten-dollar bill, and the condition for receiving this huge amount of money was that she would wash and cook for her every day, and more importantly, the money was still paid from my pay card. Those who owe money are uncles, and I believe this!
1. My daughter-in-law, every time she pays public grain, subsidizes my 100 ocean allowance fee! The first few months are OK, and the monthly pocket money is relatively rich. These two months are almost, the weather is hot, and it is a bit excessive, and recently it has been tighter. In order to increase my enthusiasm for paying grain, my daughter-in-law increased the subsidy to 150.
To be honest, that's 50 more, and the attraction is quite big!!!
2. Very cryptic jokes, the IQ that is understood is generally above 200: a woman has three good looks, one surnamed Gao, one surnamed Li, and one surnamed Chen. A few months later, the girl gave birth to a son, but the woman did not know whose son it was, and was worried about the name of the child, and a professor named the child: Guo Chunhai. Female smell, great joy. - Do you understand?
3. There is a mynah who can only say "whoa", one day there is no one in the house, and a takeaway comes knocking on the door. Myna: "Who?" The little brother replied: "Delivery of takeaways." Myna: "Who?" The little brother replied: "Delivery of takeaways." ”...... When the master came home, he found a person lying in the doorway and wondered, "Who is this?" Inside the door: "Delivery." ”
4. The good brother and his wife who are like glue suddenly divorced, and I felt particularly confused, so I asked the brother why. The brother sighed and said: Alas, I went to participate in the sixtieth birthday of the old man, and the brother-in-law directly drove me out, and said that he would see me once in the future! I was shocked and asked my brother: Huh? What the hell is going on? The brother said aggrievedly: It was late for work, and I looked like I was almost late, so I went in my overalls. I asked again: What kind of work are you doing now, putting on your overalls and getting people to kick them out? The brother sighed and said: Filial piety, professional weeping filial piety!
5. On Monday, the local boss recruited employees for a meeting, and suddenly the boss's husky slowly entered the conference room. The local tycoon boss blasted the dog out, and after a while the dog came again, and the local tycoon boss did not rush. See what the dog wants to do, walk around and sniff, walk to a male colleague in the second row. The male colleague jumped to the side in fright, and the cargo stretched out its claws to plane in the table hole and turned out a chicken leg. Then I grabbed the chicken leg and walked slowly...
6. The brother was waiting for the bus at the stop sign and saw a young sister next to him drop 100 yuan. Brother: You lost your money. The little sister looked at her brother: Is it interesting to talk to such an old-fashioned method? The brother blushed and thought to himself that he really didn't know what to do. At this time, a handsome man next to him said: Beauty, it is really you who fell. The little sister turned her head and smiled at the handsome man: Thank you. Bending down happily to pick up the money, then the two men chatted happily.
7. My brother has been divorced for two years and has never been married again. Later, the aunt introduced him to a partner, also a second marriage, and a 4-year-old son. The brother didn't care, and it wasn't long before they got married. Once, when his son was in trouble, his brother got angry and beat him up with a feather duster. When I went to the bathroom the next morning, my brother saw his son in the crack of the door and put his toothbrush in the toilet for a while, and then put it back, the key is that he had beaten it several times before, and when brushing his teeth, he didn't think much about it! I didn't expect such a big child to have such a strong sense of revenge, it seems that I have to be nice to the child, in case I give myself some medicine one day, I don't know how to die!!
8. My wife had a cold, and I immediately boiled a bowl of sugar pear ginger water. She said movingly: "You really hurt people, you should also pay attention to your body, you must not catch a cold." Me: "Rest assured, when I drink this bowl of sugar pear ginger water, you will not infect me." My wife actually had the strength to slap me: "You turn three times in place before you drink!" ”
9. These two days somehow, the legs are particularly sore. My dad heard people say that soaking feet in hot water can alleviate it, so he boiled a large pot of boiling water. As a result, I stretched out my feet and screamed hot. My dad reached out for the dating software water temperature, : where is hot, hurry up and soak while it is hot, the effect is good! Say grab my foot and press it into the water... Later, my whole foot was burned like a red pig's trotter...
#Funny Famous Scene of the Year # #搞笑段子 #