Life is a hard journey, take your time, don't be in a hurry.
This article is divided into three phases:
18-24 years old;
25-65 years old;
65 - Death;
Each stage has a corresponding task.
We have talked about the first five stages in the previous article, and today we will talk about the last three stages.
Stage SIX
(18-24 years old): Early adulthood
Developmental tasks and crises – intimacy and loneliness
Self-quality – the quality of love
Erikson agrees with Freud's definition of "healthy man": a loving and hard-working man.
Only people who form a positive identity during adolescence are more likely to have an intimate relationship with another person.
Because only by learning to love yourself can you love others better.
People who have acquired the same sex are more willing to integrate themselves with the identity of others in their interactions with others, so that they have the ability to get along with others and have the ability to assume the obligations of being a member of society and a member of partnership.
Remember someone who likened the process of falling in love to the process of two people turning four legs into three legs.
There is a similar situation in the integration of identity here, which requires individuals to make certain sacrifices and concessions and readjust identity.
Conversely, if you can't establish intimate relationships with others, you will stick to stereotyped interpersonal relationship patterns and have a deep sense of loneliness.
According to Erikson, if the individual's ability to develop intimacy trumps the feeling of loneliness, then the task of this stage is completed, and the quality of love is acquired.
Defined as: the antagonistic mutual devotion of both parties to the division of labor caused by permanent inhibition of heredity.
If you can't solve the crisis at this stage, it is easy to fall into chaotic intimate relationships, such as entering a romantic relationship quickly, but not lasting, a vicious circle.
Combined with the stages we have talked about before, it is not difficult to understand that early love will inhibit self-exploration and development. College is the best phase of love.
Because many children before the age of 18 have not yet understood "who I am" and "what kind of life I want to live", this unsound identity will affect the establishment and stability of intimate relationships.
In college, with the maturity of ideas and the relative reduction of academic pressure, you can try to explore love and sharing, sacrifice and giving. Even if the relationship fails, it will help future relationships.
Therefore, parents should not blindly pursue the success of their children's careers and prevent children from entering romantic relationships.
Stage 7
(c. 25-65 years old): Mid-adulthood
Development tasks and crises – reproduction and stagnation
Self-quality - care about quality
If the previous stages are developed well, people will have a positive and healthy life, and will also try to pass on this positive state to the next generation, or further create a better life and improve the living standards of the next generation.
will get a "sense of reproduction", sincerely care for the next generation and the people around them,
If people do not have a sense of reproduction, they tend to stagnate in their work, there is no motivation, and life becomes boring.
Erickson believes that a person whose performance related to reproductive ability trumps stagnation will acquire the quality of care, will care for others from the heart, and will not take these things as an unshirkable obligation.
Conversely, if this stage of the crisis is not resolved, people may become selfish and focus only on themselves.
It is important to note that people with a sense of reproduction do not necessarily refer to people who have had children.
For example, painters, writers or people in show business, even if they do not have children, their works have been passed down, and they have gained a "sense of reproduction".
However, although some people have children, because the tasks in the previous stages were not well completed, they did not form a quality of care.
However, compared to career success, it is easiest to form caring qualities for future generations.
Stage VIII
(c. 65 years old – died): Late adulthood
Development tasks and crises – self-improvement and despair
Self-quality - wisdom quality
When a person looks back on his life and feels that his life is full, created, and happy, then he will have a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction, and he will not be afraid of death.
On the contrary, when a person looks back on his life and feels full of failures, setbacks, and regrets, he will despair of life, because he feels that he can no longer make up for regrets, and his external performance may be afraid of death or depression, and even suicidal tendencies.
The formation of self-improvement satisfaction is closely related to the previous stages, and there will be satisfaction in good development, and despair and pain in bad development.
There is also a kind of person who will always hover between a sense of satisfaction and despair, looking for a sense of balance, and will constantly change because of the circumstances of life.
According to Erikson, if you feel that self-integrity trumps disappointment and despair, you acquire the quality of wisdom. In this way, man will look at death transcendentally, seeing death as the destination of nature, while at the same time having a positive concern and understanding of life.
Only when the individual is mature enough will he acquire such wisdom, and even if he cannot do it now, he does not have to be too demanding of himself.
It should be noted that the attitude of adults towards death and life will directly affect the child's sense of trust, that is, if the child's caregiver is perfect enough not to fear death, then these healthy children will not be afraid of life.
So far, we have covered all eight stages of Erikson's theory.
If you read the article and find that you have a lot of unfinished regrets, you don't have to regret and panic, because knowing yourself is the beginning of change.