The word dependency is, in some things, an interdependent relationship. However, if you are overly dependent on others in life, you will slowly lose the ability to think about things and deal with life problems, and you will not be able to form an independent personality.
Jasmine said to her girlfriend: "Before I fell in love, I felt that I was a woman, and I could do anything by myself." One person watches a movie, one person cooks, or even one person is hospitalized. But since I had a boyfriend, I have become particularly dependent on him, and I have to accompany him to do everything I can do. It felt like I wouldn't be able to do anything without him. ”
When Jasmine describes to her girlfriend that she can accomplish many things independently, she actually has a sad feeling in her heart, because she has no help from others around her, so many things have to be completed by herself, which is a helpless choice.
When we can only solve many things on our own, many times we will feel aggrieved and helpless. Although on the surface it seems that I am very independent, when I do things with a sense of loss, my inner experience is worse.
When we experience a certain strong emotion, we feel very panicked in our hearts, and we hope that there will be someone around us, who can understand your feelings and will soothe your emotions. In a couple relationship, when one party feels that his mood is not very good because of certain things, he hopes that the other party will coax him, and if the other party does not meet your requirements, you will become particularly angry. In fact, behind the anger is also a deep sense of helplessness.
It is easy to be dependent on others, and the heart is relatively fragile. Often pay special attention to the evaluation of others, in interpersonal communication, will also subconsciously cater to others. Although I sometimes know that relying too much on others will easily lose myself, I can't change the status quo.
When you are difficult to solve the problems in life, you will think that it is better to leave the problem to the people you rely on, and you will feel that the other party will have a way, and you don't have to think and do it yourself. Even if the problem can't be solved, don't blame yourself, because someone is responsible.
People with strong dependence usually subconsciously feel that they are an incompetent and unwanted person. Therefore, in the relationship between the sexes, they will always put themselves on the weak side and be willing to listen to the domination of others. Because you show weakness, you can find a sense of identity and belonging in the process of communication, and you will feel satisfied in your heart.
If you want to be less dependent on others, you must first exercise your independent thinking. Because I am afraid of facing various problems in life, I want to push the problems to others to solve. But no one is responsible for your life. When faced with difficulties, find solutions on your own. If you have always relied on others, if one day others don't help you, what will you do?
It's easy to verbally say you want to be independent, but only by putting what you say into practice can you experience a sense of accomplishment in solving your own problems. When you solve the problem, you will find that your ability is not weak, and you will not think of seeking help from others as soon as you encounter something.
The one who can accompany you the longest in life is yourself. Therefore, only when you have the courage to face difficulties and the ability to cut through thorns, you will feel solid in your heart, and the best sense of security can actually be given by yourself.