Prose| worried about my grandmother gone

At more than 9:00 a.m. on March 27, 2020, I was leading the team to visit poor households in the village, when my third uncle called to say that my grandmother was gone... At that moment, the sky was spinning, and my world seemed to collapse. Grandma was gone, without her kind concern, and suddenly felt like a kite with a broken line, an emptiness and ethereality that had never been seen before.

Twenty days ago, on March 7, relatives just celebrated my grandmother's ninety-seventh birthday, and according to the rules of the township, after celebrating my 97th birthday, I would eat at the age of 98. In order to make the old man happy, but also in order not to delay the work of the juniors, the third uncle, who usually takes care of his grandmother's food and clothing, did not widely extend invitations to his grandmother to buy a birthday feast. Following the old man's tradition of frugality and simplicity, the nearest children and grandchildren spontaneously went to celebrate her. Because of the work, I could not personally go to celebrate my grandmother's birthday, but Bought some of her favorite snacks to bring to my aunt, I sincerely wished my grandmother that her old man's family would be as blessed as the East Sea and the South Mountain, and I did not want this inadvertent mistake to become a regret for my life.

For more than ninety years, in the long river of history, it is only a flick of the fingers, but for a person, it is also a long and tortuous. For more than ninety years, Grandma has read through the vicissitudes of personnel and experienced the changes of the old and new eras. The greatest wealth she has accumulated in her life is her industrious, kind, hard-working and simple nature, the quality of conscientious hard work and resentment, and the self-cultivation of being generous to others and the world. All of this has accompanied her through the bumpy years, and it has accompanied her to usher in the arrival of a new era.

In the twelfth year of the Republic of China (1923 AD), on the fourteenth day of the second lunar month, my grandmother was born in Hujia Natural Village, Luotang Village, Tangshi Town, Guiyang County, Hunan Province, and married as a child bride at the age of 11 to the old house in the western foothills of Banqiao Township. Grandpa was the fourth in the family, her parents and three brothers died early, and for decades, Grandma worked hard, with her diligence, her gentleness, and her virtuousness to run this large family with a large population. Grandma had no complaints or regrets in her life, did not ask for it, and for the harmony and unity of the extended family, she selflessly dedicated the best years of her life until the wind and frost stained her black hair! As a rural woman, her grandmother only knew how to teach her husband and children all her life, kept her duties, never had a short relationship with others, worked hard to manage the housework, was busy inside and outside, and could not be idle in her life. No matter how time changes and how her role changes, she is always a good daughter-in-law, a good wife, a good mother, and a good elder.

Grandma's life is an ordinary life, but ordinary and part means mediocrity. Her character, education, talents, spirit, and even her image are not behind. The old man is a person from the old times, but her body is not contaminated with a trace of bad habits, and in the once dirty social environment, the mud is not stained, clean and self-sufficient, and she is alone. In my memory, my grandmother always took it calmly at any time and in any environment, and looked at life with a normal attitude. She knows that her life is poor, and she is a car, so that if she has no desire, her heart is wide, and her heart is wide, and her body is healthy, until she is old, her mind is clear, and her life is self-reliant, which is really rare! Du Fu Shiyun: "Seventy years of life are rare. When Grandma was alive, she was more than twenty years old, which can be called the life of the benevolent and the wise. Grandma is ordinary, she is a weak body of less than 60 kilograms, shouldering the burden of eating and drinking Lasa, which is also an ordinary and true portrayal of their generation of wives and mothers. Grandma is even greater, her silent dedication, her hard work, her reasonableness, so that a foreigner in the west foothills of the old house village for more than eighty years to win word of mouth and praise.

As a grandson, I always felt indebted to my grandmother, when I was a child, my parents were busy with work, and most of the winter and summer vacations sent me and my sister to my grandmother's house to let her take care of her, I don't know how much hard work she added; when I grew up, for the so-called ideals and careers, I visited my grandmother very few times a year. Even if I went, I was in a hurry, I failed to honor her old man well, the time spent with the old man was minimal, and the things I did for the old man were too little and too little.

In recent years, with the growth of age and the inconvenience of legs and feet, the weakening of vision, grandma rarely goes out, mother, uncle one after another left to hit her old man's home immeasurable, since then her spirit is not as good as a day. After her mother's death in 2007, in order not to stimulate her elderly grandmother, all relatives and friends deliberately hid from her old family. Usually filial piety and mother did not visit her for a long time, the kind and wise grandmother had actually guessed the cruel fact of her mother's death in her heart, but she still pretended not to know anything and never expressed her doubts to anyone. I remember once I went to see her, the old man held my hand and repeatedly confided in me the guilt of her and grandfather for their mother, saying that their patriarchal thinking was so strong that their mother helped to pick up the burden of the family at the age of thirteen, not only to support the uncle to study, but also to take care of the third uncle and the full aunt to grow up, I don't know how much suffering and how much sin they suffered; now her mother went before her, let her, a white-haired person, send a black-haired person, it is better to let her die on behalf of her mother. Speaking of the pain my mother experienced, my grandmother couldn't help but burst into tears, and I couldn't help but burst into tears, and at that moment, thousands of words turned into tears in my throat. In 2019, her uncle died of illness, and her grandmother suffered another heavy blow, how miserable was her heart? I can't know, during that time, my grandmother repeatedly recited my uncle's name, took a photo of my uncle when he joined the army, and looked at it for half a day.

The youngest aunt Man, because she lives in Chenzhou, has to bring her grandchildren, and only a few days of the year can accompany her grandmother. The third uncle who lived in the countryside with his grandmother contracted seven or eight acres of paddy fields, and when he was over sixty years old, he was busy doing farm work and could not accompany his grandmother at all times, and the old man was almost trapped at home. Sometimes I went to visit her, and I saw her sitting alone in the hall of the old house, and the sun reflected her rickety figure, and I felt an indescribable bitterness and desolation in my heart. I can't know how grandma has sorted out the loneliness and bitterness of this day after day and year after year, but I can really understand the joy she exudes every time I go to see her and the reluctance she gives me when I leave, and I still feel trepidation and uneasiness when I think about it now. As a grandson, I spent too little time with my grandmother, let alone sharing some sorrows or even her pain for her old man, which was really incompetent. In this rainy season, Grandma and her old man's home drove the crane to the west, leaving me with this unfilial grandson is infinite thoughts, I only hope that Grandma and her old man's home in heaven without illness and sorrow, everything is fine!