"Every Child Needs to Be Seen"

27 "Every Child Needs to Be Seen"

Attachment, the last motivation to learn

After losing the above three qualities, learning has only one last hope:

Attachment !️ for children who lack curiosity, comprehensive thinking and adaptability can only rely on attachment emotions to learn. Their desire to learn may not be from the bottom of their hearts to learn, but if they have a strong desire to be close to adult educators such as teachers, parents, or other adults who act as mentors, then this desire to learn is also valid.

Attachment is the most powerful learning motivation, and it can accomplish tasks even without curiosity or the ability to learn lessons. This shows once again that it is important to see the powerful influence of attachment. Some children lack adaptability, curiosity and comprehensive ability, so they can't fully realize their potential.

But his academic performance is still very good, and this is where attachment comes into play. Where others lack motivation, attachment students may still be motivated.

For example, they are adept at learning by imitating, imitating, remembering, and looking for cues, so that even if other children are limited by their learning style, these children will be influenced by the object of attachment and maintain their desire to learn.

For some children who are attached to their peers, in order to gain recognition, they will deliberately "make themselves stupid"! !️Rose, a 29-year-old fitness coach, recalls: "In the sixth and seventh grades, I was often at the top of the class, and I won every award. In the eighth grade, the other children began to laugh at me and tease me. After that, I suddenly became a nerd in the eyes of my classmates. It's not cool at all, I want to be a sports fan and become gregarious. Therefore, I chose to integrate with them and decided not to get a high score in the future, such as when I took the math test, I deliberately miscalculated, especially in the last two years of high school, and my plan could not have been implemented perfectly. But this behavior made me form a very bad habit of studying, so that when I got to college, I couldn't change those bad study habits and didn't get a degree. Now, I regret that my self-regulation ability was not unique, and I regret that I care so much about what my friends think. ”‼️

(In my lessons, sometimes what children are given to do is values, values, self-worth needs, analysis, discussion, which choice you want, choice is to bear the consequences)

For children who are attached to ❌❌❌ their peers, learning is irrelevant

What fun can there be in history, culture, social contradictions or the wonders of nature?

What is the connection between chemistry and making friends?

How do creatures bring their companions into harmony?

What is the use of mathematics, literature, and social studies for my relationship with my friends?

A song gives a perfect explanation for such thoughts about children: "Don't know history, don't know creatures ... But I know I love you. "In their view, friends are the most important thing, and being with friends is the most meaningful thing." This is an attachment myth.

(We adults also make the mistake of being confused in this regard, but what?) Making mistakes is the best learning opportunity, calm down, manage your desires well will not suffer from gain and loss)

Open the door to learning and win your child's heart first

!️ Attachment can help parents and teachers attract children's attention, stimulate children's respect for parents, and make children willing to accept the guidance of parents, which are the only way for children to receive education. Children who are attached to their parents, see their parents as navigational signs, and will seek direction from their parents.

Children !️ who are attached to their teachers will be loyal to the teacher, not their peers, and will see the teacher as an example. When children are attached to the teacher, the teacher also has the authority to cultivate the child, stimulate their self-motivation, and convey the correct values.

But who will a child who is attached to his peers choose to be his teacher?

❌ Once children are peer-oriented, their peak learning periods become breaks, lunches, after school, and recess. Moreover, what such children learn is not from the teacher or the curriculum, (so parents must have sharp awareness, adjust in time when some signs of inappropriateness for children appear, and let the children return to normal attachment relationships)

Because attachment relationships are not established, no matter how professional, dedicated, or respected the teacher is, it will not play a role at all.

Of course, we must not underestimate the value of teacher quality. Highly educated teachers, a wealth of experience, dedication, quality courses and skills make sense.

But these factors do not fundamentally help teachers to teach. Children need to like the teacher and feel that the teacher likes themselves so that the student will learn the best. If the teacher wants to understand the child's thoughts, he must first grasp the child's heart.

In a way, we can assume that peer-oriented children are attachment learners. It's just that they chose the wrong teacher under the influence of the wrong attachment feeling. What can help students to be motivated is a good teacher-student relationship.

The original meaning of the word teacher is mentor, or rather, the person who guides the child. If teachers want to guide, they must establish an attachment relationship with students. The best teacher must not only open the door of students' thinking, but also learn to win the hearts of students. (In this regard, it also depends on the wisdom of parents, how to guide children to yearn for teachers, and how parents communicate with teachers about their children's situation!) ）

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