"Mo,
It's not that I'm still complaining about you to this day.
You love me
You should not be light-hearted,
I've been making noise for you on a plane a few times,
You still forgot all about me,
I flew up into the sky alone.
It's over, it's over, it's over
I'll never hear your whispers again.
Do you know the grief in my heart? ”
This is Lu Xiaoman's "Crying Mo" after the death of her husband Xu Zhimo, and we can feel Lu Xiaoman's grief over Xu Zhimo's death between the lines, but why did she choose to live with Weng Ruiwu for 33 years after Xu Zhimo's death?
In China, which was frequently war-torn and turbulent in the early days of the last century, it was also an era of talents, and countless outstanding thinkers, writers and military experts were born here, including Xu Zhimo, Lu Xiaoman, Lin Huiyin and other literati rioters, and they also had a love-hate relationship between them.
Xu Zhimo's life also included the feudal arranged marriage between Xu Zhimo and Zhang Youyi, who had been receiving Western educational ideas for a long time, which ended in tragedy.
We are all catchy about Xu Zhimo's "Farewell to Kangqiao", "I wave my sleeve and don't take away a cloud", Xu Zhimo faces his "white moonlight" Lin Huiyin and the master's son Liang Sicheng's heavenly combination, he can only wave goodbye.
In the end, Xu Zhimo ignored his parents' objections and abandoned his wife to marry his "cinnabar mole" Lu Xiaoman.
However, it is easy to fall in love, but it is so difficult to stay together. After Xu Zhimo's death, Lu Xiaoman ignored the persuasion of his friends and public opinion, and lived with Weng Ruiwu for 33 years. Who is Weng Ruiwu? Why did Lu Xiaoman trust him so much after suffering the major blow of his husband's death? Why is there "only feelings, no love" between Lu Xiaomanchester City and the two?
It's easy to fall in love, it's hard to stay together
After Xu Zhimo first met Lu Xiaoman, a talented woman of the Republic of China who can write and paint and sing and dance, the two gradually became acquainted and fell in love with each other.
Wang Geng
However, at this time, Lu Xiaoman was not single, she and the young talent wang Geng at that time had become married, and her husband's incomprehensible style and conformism were incompatible with the social flowers who often went in and out of the dance hall, and Xu Zhimo became Lu Xiaoman's love tonic after intervening between the two.
The good thing is that after they were in love with each other and married, Lu Xiaoman's extravagant lifestyle and arrogant personality made the two go farther and farther.
Lu Xiaoman has had asthma and gynecological diseases since she was a child, so her family can be described as extremely fond of her and respond to everything she wants. After marriage, Lu Xiaoman slept almost every day until the afternoon, and in his spare time, he sat around the mahjong table with celebrities or went in and out of the well-lit dance hall, spending money even more generously.
Lu Xiaoman and Wang Geng
Xu Zhimo's income at that time was also quite rich, but due to his parents' opposition to this marriage, Xu Zhimo, who had lost the material support of his family, had to wear several positions in order to meet Lu Xiaoman's living needs.
Through the introduction of his friend Hu Shi, who was teaching at Peking University at that time, Xu Zhimo was able to find a higher-paying teaching job in Beiping. However, because Lu Xiaoman did not want to leave Shanghai, where the living environment was extremely rich and leisurely, he also had to travel frequently between Beiping and Shanghai.
In addition to teaching, Xu Zhimo also uses his spare time to write and earn contributions, which can be described as exhausting.
Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman
However, Because Lu Xiaoman was weak and sick since he was a child, he is now plagued by illness and his personality has become quite arrogant, and the lovers, friends and people around him are also inevitably affected by this.
On the one hand, Xu Zhimo met Lu Xiaoman's various high living needs, on the other hand, in order to nourish her body, he became acquainted with Weng Ruiwu, who studied medicine with the famous doctor Ding Fengshan.
Because of Xu Zhimo's accidental "matchmaking", the emotional contradiction between the three people has become more prominent.
Weng Ruiwu's clever hand massage not only alleviated Lu Xiaoman's illness, but also made her personality improve. But the relief of physical pain is difficult to understand the depression in the heart. After Lu Xiaoman and Xu Zhimo enjoyed the romantic love of the couple, they could not escape the dullness and contradictions of chai rice oil and salt in their lives.
Zhang Youyi and Xu Zhimo
Lu Xiaoman, who has a talent, did not share the burden of his family after marriage, indulged in singing, and even became an "addict", which is incompatible with Xu Zhimog, who is intoxicated with Western-style literature and poetry, but almost completely coincides with Weng Ruiwu's interests.
Weng Ruiwu's father loved calligraphy and painting, and he was also quite proficient in piano, chess, calligraphy and painting, and even spent energy learning opera from famous Beijing and Kun masters.
Therefore, whether it is exquisite massage technology, opera, calligraphy and painting, Lu Xiaoman can relieve pain and relieve boredom from Weng Ruiwu when Xu Zhimo is busy with work.
Although Xu Zhimo also said that Lu Xiaoman should have his own male and female friends, Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman later quarreled because of Weng Lu's overly intimate behavior.
On November 19, 1931, Xu Zhimo, who finished his teaching in Beiping, took a very unsafe free postal plane in order to save money, but due to weather and other reasons, the plane crashed near Jinan, and Xu Zhimo's life was fixed at the age of 34.
Hearing this bad news, Lu Xiaoman was so sad that he refused to sign the death notice, and even the funeral and memorial service were organized and presided over by his ex-wife Zhang Youyi and Lin Huiyin. However, she herself lived with Weng Ruiwu for 33 years after Xu Zhimo's death.
Lin Huiyin and Xu Zhimo
Weng Lu and the two were nameless and inseparable, but they also suffered Chen Mingliu
The three key men in Lu Xiaoman's life, Wang Geng, Xu Zhimo and Weng Ruiwu, the first two are her husbands, the latter can be said to be a male girlfriend who she can live together for 33 years without getting married, and Weng Ruiwu can also take good care of Lu Xiaoman for the next 33 years.
Weng Ruiwu's father was once the prefect of Guangxi, and his father's generation left him relatively solid wealth, and he also had a lot of wages to take, so life was above the "well-off".
Weng Ruiwu and Lu Xiaoman
After learning that Lu Xiaoman almost completely collapsed due to Xu Zhimo's death, Weng Ruiwu almost did not hesitate to take on Lu Xiaoman's life and life, while also taking care of his wife and daughter.
In fact, from lu xiaoman and Xu Zhimo's life together, it can be known that her requirements for living standards are extremely high. Although after Xu Zhimo's death, Lu Xiaoman's life was relatively frugal, but the living consumption was still much higher than that of ordinary families.
However, whether it was shoes worth 600 silver dollars, noble camel fur coats, or Lu Xiaoman's necessary opium, Weng Ruiwu could satisfy and keep them in good order.
From Chen Julai's evaluation of Weng Ruiwu, we can know that Lu Xiaoman will hardly go out to make money, "thanks to Weng has always been black (smoke) white (rice) supply is flawless."
Lu Xiaoman
Even Weng Ruiwu had to work several part-time jobs like Xu Zhimo, so that he was busy with a gyroscope that could not stop, but he never complained, just did not want to see Lu Xiaomanchu cry pitifully.
However, the endless care and love that Lu Xiaoman received from Weng Ruiwu was a great harm and deprivation of Weng Ruiwu's original partner, Chen Mingliu, and the child.
Chen Mingliu and Xu Zhimo's original partner Zhang Youyi are typical feudal children, and the marriages of Weng Chen and Xu Zhang have the color of feudal arrangement. Weng Ruiwu's divorce from Chen Mingliu seems to be better than Xu Zhimo, who abandoned his wife, but for Chen Mingliu, it is not a harm.
In order to meet Lu Xiaoman's expenses, Weng Ruiwu is bound to reduce the living expenses of his wife and daughter, but fortunately, Chen Mingliu's family management level can still allow the family to barely live a "well-off" life.
Although Chen Mingliu could not live the generous life of a noble woman like Lu Xiaoman, nor was she envious, what she really cared about was the loyal treatment of her husband Weng Ruiwu.
Weng Rui noon costume
Lu Xiaoman and Weng Ruiwu were watching together namelessly, and they could not care about the insults of the world's eyes, but they could not ignore Chen Mingliu's increasing depression and eventually left in tears.
Perhaps Lu Xiaoman could not care less about Chen Mingliu's death, but Weng Ruiwu's children hated this woman who had interfered in her parents' marriage.
The concept of love in the three chapters of the Covenant law is ultimately right or wrong
Weng Ruiwu's eldest daughter, Weng Xiangguang, because of her grief over the death of her mother, angrily went to Lu Xiaoman's home to accuse her father, why not divorce as soon as possible, let her mother find a good family to live a few days of comfortable life, instead of watching her husband and other women love before she died, nor did she have to save money for a footer and end up depressed.
Lu Xiaoman costume
Weng Xiangguang asked Lu Xiaoman why he clinged to his father and why he did not let him get a divorce.
Lu Xiaoman, who has been spoiled since childhood, experienced the shock of Xu Zhimo's death and Weng Xiangguang's questioning, which made her think about when she began to live in a muddy mood.
He once and Weng Rui's three chapters of the Noon Covenant Law, "No divorce, no abandonment of the wife, you and I will never formally marry", how much pain and harm have been brought to the people around them.
If it is said that Weng Xiangguang only questioned and attacked Lu Xiaoman because of the death of his mother, in fact, when Chen Mingliu was alive, no matter how much Lu Xiaoman loved and pleased Weng Ruiwu's children, they were unwilling to accept Lu Xiaoman's kindness.
Weng Rui noon
In fact, when Lu Xiaoman was with her first husband, Wang Geng, because of the fetus, her body fell ill and could not have children, and she did not have her own biological flesh and bones from beginning to end.
Therefore, Weng Ruiwu also often brought his children to Lu Xiaoman's residence to make a scene to make up for the regret of not being able to become a mother, so that she could find a little comfort in it.
Lu Xiaoman also wanted to get the recognition of the children, and the delicious and fun food in life was enjoyed by the children, new clothes were prepared for the children, and the children were coaxed to sleep at night.
But no matter how well-intentioned Lu Xiaoman is, the child always rejects Lu Xiaoman.
Only because she was with her father inexplicably, but she did not give her mother a word, she could only watch her mother secretly wipe her tears, watching her mother cherish the little time with her father as much as possible, even if it was sitting next to her father to sew clothes.
At this moment, Lu Xiaoman's "not divorcing his wife" that Weng Ruiwu firmly pursued may actually be the biggest harm to Chen Mingliu.
Although Weng Ruiwu once said to his eldest daughter Weng Xiangguang, "I have love with your mother." However, as the companionship of Weng Ruiwu and Lu Xiaoman, who are almost all of Chen Mingliu's life, it is indeed unfair and deprived of Chen Mingliu.
In fact, in addition to Weng Ruiwu's children, Xu Zhimo's family and friends are not optimistic about lu Xiaoman and Weng Ruiwu's company, and even reject it.
The Xu family had not agreed to xu Zhimo's marriage with Lu Xiaoman, and the Xu family agreed that the reason why Xu Zhimo had to travel between Beiping and Shanghai and to take a free but unsafe plane in order to save money was because of Lu Xiaoman.
Xu Zhimo and Hu Shi
In the end, under the persuasion of Hu Shi, the Xu family still agreed to Lu Xiaoman's request and gave her a certain amount of supplies. However, after learning that Lu Xiaoman and Weng Ruiwu were living together, they immediately cut off all funding for Lu Xiaoman.
Even Xu Zhimo's former friend Hu Shi also contacted Lu Xiaoman, who had lost his financial resources, and hoped that she could cut off all contact with Weng Ruiwu, and that he and his family would still try their best to arrange her life after that.
A period of almost the world's insults to accompany the guard, why does Lu Xiaoman still insist? Can she and Weng Ruiwu really love to the point of disregarding the eyes of the world, just for the love that is full of foam?
However, from Lu Xiaoman's mouth, we can know that she has "only feelings, no love" for Weng Ruiwu.
There are only feelings, no love
In the eyes of outsiders, the relationship that resembles a lover is more like a third emotion that is outside of family, friendship and love, but integrates family, friendship and love.
Hu shi
Lu Xiaoman once refused Hu Shi's assistance, preferring to follow Weng Ruiwu unjustifiably, this is because of his strong love? Perhaps Lu Xiaoman's feelings for Weng Ruiwu did not stem from love, and her love had passed away with Xu Zhimo's death.
Xu Zhimo's death was a thunder that woke her up for Lu Xiaoman. After that, she was almost simple, rarely wearing gorgeous clothes, and sorting out Xu Zhimo's poems, letters and posthumous works, and she also resumed painting and immersed herself in practice.
Even before Lu Xiaoman and Weng Ruiwu lived together, Lu Xiaoman proposed the so-called three chapters of the Covenant Law, preferring to always be with Weng Ruiwu namelessly. Perhaps Lu Xiaoman's most sincere and pure love has been buried with the death of Xu Zhimo, so he still wants to use his own way to protect the last trace of innocence between the two.
And Lu Xiaoman can still live with Weng Ruiwu despite the scorn and insults of outsiders, perhaps because the two have the same fun and hobbies and similar personality. Both are free and loose personalities, both are accustomed to enjoying the vested interests and pleasures in the immediate future, and will not worry about whether they will have money or not in the future, so as to blame each other.
Lu Xiaoman's emotions that are not together because of complete love can be treated calmly even when betrayed by the other party, without resentment or hatred.
In his later years, Weng Ruiwu actually had a relationship with his adopted daughter with Lu Xiaoman, which may not be imaginable, after all, in the early years, Weng Ruiwu was unexpectedly caring for Lu Xiaoman.
In the face of the sudden betrayal, Lu Xiaoman did not cry, did not make trouble, did not complain, but just sighed softly: "Weng Ruiwu and I actually have no love for a long time, and the friendship between us is just a friendship between friends."
Even when his friend asked him why he did not marry Weng Ruiwu in the early years, she also referred to the relationship between the two as "doctor and patient" and "friend".
The word "friend" is the dignity that Lu Xiaoman left for himself or relief, perhaps Lu Xiaoman is in the long life encounter, looking down on some life and death and love and hate, or maybe it is really as Lu Xiaoman said, just a friend.
Later, Lu Xiaoman moved out of the happy house that Weng Ruiwu built for herself, and without the financial resources provided by Weng Ruiwu, she also began to return to her old business and make a living with her painting skills.
Trapped by love, it is difficult to escape
Weng Ruiwu was sincere to Lu Xiaoman in his early years, but in his later years he chose to betray him, but two days before his death in 1961, he also entrusted his two friends to "take more care of Xiaoman".
From Weng Ruiwu's dedication to Lu Xiaoman in this life, we can't completely deny his feelings for Lu Xiaoman because of a betrayal, until the end of his life, he still thinks about the other party in his heart.
After Weng Rui's death, Lu Xiaoman has once again gained recognition in the industry by relying on her talent and ability, and even vaguely saw her style in the diplomatic circles of Beiping when she was 17 years old. However, due to her asthma and lung disease, she spent less and less time at home and more and more days in the hospital.
On April 3, 1965, Lu Xiaoman died of illness, and her final wish was to be buried with Xu Zhimo, but how could the Xu family agree. The two people who once loved vigorously and were in love could not be together after their deaths, trapped by love for half a life, and finally could not escape the shackles of feelings.
Throughout the lives of Xu Zhimo, Lu Xiaoman and Weng Ruiwu, the three were born of love and trapped by love. The two men who appeared in Lu Xiaoman's life had brought her laughter and laughter, and they had also parted ways to hate, everyone did not exist in isolation, and it was precisely because of their collision with each other that they gave birth to a variety of lives.
Relatives, friends, and lovers around us will always let us find our own shining points in different ways, point out our shortcomings and then reflect and correct them, so that each of us becomes more excellent. But there are always some people who are obsessed with the status quo and casually wander to the point of getting a miserable life.
Lu Xiaoman was also a master of painting and a talented translator, but if she could always keep herself awake and often reflect on herself, she might be able to have a different life, so that the ashes would not disappear and become a lone ghost, but how could history have if?