Text: Pleasant
Pictured: Vulgar photography
When the book is used, there is less hatred,
People remember their youth when they are old.
Teenagers are diligent and hardworking,
Don't make people laugh when you're old.
The day before yesterday, I turned to the circle of friends, saw a poem written by my husband, that is, slipped it, and then liked and commented: The writing is not bad, continue!
The husband uses oil poems to record his mood and express his feelings, which is not the same as seeing an oil poem written by my husband at noon yesterday:
Walk your own path,
Remember not to open your mouth to people.
Fight hard,
Who has not as good as their own .
Oh, but also poetry Xing dafa, lived most of his life and finally lived to understand.
I stared blankly at my phone and fell into deep thought.
My husband and I met in the late 1980s, through the words of the media, when my husband was a soldier in the army, after exchanging a few letters, my husband was demobilized, and we also entered the palace of marriage. To be honest, I didn't know much at that time, I really didn't have any feelings, like most people, marriage is the ultimate destination of a girl, and I can't get out of the ordinary.
Marriage is easy to get along with, two different families, different growth environments, different personalities, different hobbies of two people living together, many contradictions will appear.
The husband is lively and active, informal, casual, absent-minded in everything he does, confused, which makes introverted, quiet and not moving, rigorous in doing things, and I can't stand to be sloppy.
My husband speaks in a river of words, and the words he has said are never honored; I say that the sentence is a fixed star, spitting and smashing a pit, believing in honesty, a promise of gold, is a particularly real person.
My husband's speech is unobstructed, and he has offended countless people, so that there are quarrels and physical conflicts, which makes me timid and afraid, and I am not less afraid of low-key behavior.
One evening, a young man with a bandage around his head and a bloodied nose broke into the house and was noisy and noisy to settle accounts with his husband. I was angry and afraid, accompanied by high and low, good words were exhausted before sending people away, my chest was like a big stone, and I couldn't help but cry again.
I cried how my life was so bad, how to live on such an inconspicuous, troublesome person, how will the days after this be!
I cried for an unknown amount of time, and my husband didn't know how many circles he had turned outside the door, but he finally plucked up enough courage and entered the house with his head bowed.
"Don't cry, I'll never fight with anyone again."
I raised my blurry eyes, looked at my husband who was cramped and depressed in front of me, pounding his two feet back and forth, and said word by word: "I will give you another chance, if there is another time, let's shoot twice, you are good to yourself!" ”
My husband later changed some bad problems, but some of them were inferior, that is, he was affected by the family environment since he was a child, and he may not be able to completely change in his lifetime.
Father-in-law is grumpy, listen to her husband, when he was a child, there was a conflict with people, the father-in-law never asked about the blue and red, pulled over is a violent beating, and the mother-in-law is arrogant, dirty people, just imagine such a family growth of children, how to know how to be kind to people, get along harmoniously, some are just inconsistent, violent.
Once, for some reason, my mother-in-law scolded all the way from the gate and broke into the house. First of all, I scolded my husband for being lazy bears and not being able to live a good life, and then I scolded me, and I was also a person who had no talent to pull (that is, the meaning of no ability and uselessness).
The mother-in-law jumped from home to the door again, jumped and clapped her hands and scolded directly, attracting neighbors to watch, forced by the mother-in-law's obscenity, no one dared to persuade. Inexplicably scolded, with strong self-esteem, I was wronged... Don't say it, say too much is tears!
My husband silently listened to my mother-in-law scolded and left, took a notebook, wrote a few lines on it, put it in front of me, more than 30 years later, I still remember these lines clearly:
Incompetence is looked down upon,
Everywhere I am embarrassed by you and me.
Self-diligence and hard work,
Show ourselves in the future.
Yes, we have no backer, we can only rely on ourselves, if you want others to see, first of all, you have to have self-respect, self-love, and self-improvement.
Later, I began to raise layer chickens and broilers, and also raised an old sow, and my husband helped to sell at the market in his free time, and the days were so difficult to move forward in the cries and cries of children, and the disputes with trivial matters, I thought that life would be so plain and plain, who knew that the husband who had always been restless was fascinated by driving.
In front of our village, there is a coal washing plant, and the washed refined coal is transported to a large steelmaking plant, and the sifted gangue is sent to the kiln factory or the wharf for other purposes.
For a period of time, dozens of large five-zero tractors transporting coal gangue were added to nearby villages. My husband ran two cars with others, and he insisted on buying a car to run the transportation, so we disposed of the chickens and pigs, and pooled our money to buy a broken tractor that not only sounded the horn, but also the whole car clanged.
Driving is too hard, go to the queue before dawn, the first trip to the port, fold back to take care of eating and go to the queue, in order to pull a trip, the car does not drive home at night, directly to the gangue factory queue.
Sending gangue is based on the number of tons and the distance of the distance to calculate the freight. In order to install more, each car is equipped with a heightened board, seriously overloaded, in addition to fuel money, tolls, but also to earn a hard money.
At first, I also made some money, but then I found that the money was not hot in my hand, and my left hand went in and my right hand went out again, because he bought a car that was almost scrapped.
Once the tire exploded in a front of the village, after the shop on the road, the husband himself took the tire off, repaired and then installed, wait until the freight to the port, back home are 3 a.m., then there is no mobile phone, can only anxiously wait, until 200 meters away from my family's broken tractor clanging bumps, a hanging heart to put down.
First of all, the two tires at the back of the carriage were changed, one tire was nearly a thousand yuan, and soon the other two tires were also replaced, and then the two large tires under the front of the car for nearly 6,000 yuan were also replaced.
I thought that I would be relieved in the future, who knew that the whole car was like a terminally ill patient, a patient who was about to die, every three forks and five had to be sent to the repair shop for overhaul "continuation", a few thousand dollars at a time, endless, the money earned for more than a year was given to the car repair shop, I proposed to sell the car, but the husband just did not agree, for this matter we did not argue less.
Once, my husband came back very late, and I asked what was going on? He said that there was some trouble, the car passed by a village, a few men had to give me tolls, I did not give, they were going to unload my tires, had unloaded two, I thought well, unload another one I will take a hammer to kill them, fortunately they do not unload, I load the tires, and then send the goods to the place, which delays the time.
I was shocked to hear it, this morning and evening had to happen, trying to prevent my husband from driving again, it was the fiercest one we had quarreled, my husband finally compromised, sad and wrote a poem about oil:
Beware of chills in the car,
It's really hard to make money.
Endure hunger and hunger to fight,
There are no warm words to go home.
To tell the truth, my husband has been driving for more than a year, going in the wind and rain, hungry for a full meal, not paying attention to food and clothing, working hard for the family, and now I think about it. However, what happened afterwards broke my heart, and I couldn't let go of it for many years.
My husband entered the insurance company, as a salesman, I was busy with housework in my free time, planted a few points of vegetables, people who have planted vegetables know that planting vegetables is a hand-wrenching job, getting up early to catch the morning market to sell vegetables, coming back at noon to plan the ground to plant vegetables, at night to set up lights and bundle vegetables, busy and happy, husband also set up a handle, we have said that there are laughter Days are bitter, but there is no lack of warmth and sweetness.
I hope that the days have been so happy and warm, but some things, not to the will of people as a transfer, slowly, I found that my husband has changed, become particular about eating and wearing, do not help me work, in the summer, I sweat like rain alone, working in the field, my husband eats lunch every day and sleeps at home, every day.
Once, my husband called a female colleague and asked if my husband was free? Take her to meet a customer, the husband is busy saying that there is time, there is time, after saying, immediately get on a motorcycle and gallop away.
I am kind to my husband, everyone runs their own business, and the business that people run does not give you money, what do you want? My husband couldn't listen to it, and he still went his own way.
Man, once you have a demon in your heart, you will not be happy. Once my husband looked at me and said, "You see that your clothes are either big or small, there is no temperament, you see what the insurance company women wear ..."
"What do you say?" I immediately became angry: "You say this to lose your conscience?" Have you ever bought me a dress over the years? In order to save money, I am picking up the clothes of my nieces to wear, selling vegetables, planting vegetables, washing, cooking every day, you don't help me and say this kind of cool words, do I have the conditions to dress elegantly"?
The husband was dumbfounded, and he went away in sorrow, and this knot was considered to be knotted.
We were busy, caught in the Cold War, sometimes eating and getting a phone call. The husband ran tens of meters away to pick up. There are ghosts in the heart, and every move can be expressed. The old man's soul is not guarded, the nerve-sucking action, sure enough, a sincere, straight-to-the-chest oil poem presented in front of me:
When the love is strong, people are drunk,
Love has a taste in the depths.
Dare to love and dare to hate is the truth,
Stick to the stereotype and grieve alone.
Dare to ask the heavens for whom they are,
Life is a dream.
Grasp this love well,
Dashing happiness never regrets.
I am a conservative person, thinking that since two people are married, men should be loyal, women should be loyal, regardless of whether it is physical infidelity or spiritual ambiguity, I have zero tolerance.
I said, "If you don't love it, disperse it, don't make a fuss, see if you don't keep your soul all day, is it interesting?" The children are all given to me, and I want them. You want to give it all to you, and I'm out of the house. "The husband denies cheating and is determined not to divorce. We were deadlocked.
We often quarreled over this, and my husband beat me up. Although I was later apologized, I still couldn't forgive him. I often cry alone, thinking that I am neither hungry, nor lazy, nor floating, how can I live like this? During that time, I was depressed and had the idea of dying with my husband.
We are like two familiar strangers, both alone in our own world.
Mourning, no more than the death of the heart, the sky is going to rain, the mother wants to marry someone to go with him. I found a job in the factory canteen, every day early out and late home, I did not see the heart and did not bother, for the sake of the children, I endured.
A few years later, I left my hometown to work in the city where my daughter worked. People still have to go out and walk around and see the world, so that their personalities have become cheerful and the pattern has become larger, and they no longer dwell on the previous right and wrong, grace and resentment.
Later, my husband also followed me to the city, confessing that he was only verbally ambiguous with a woman, no longer in contact, the past things, even if they are unwilling and unwilling, they have to be peaceful, after all, letting go of others is also letting go of themselves, the past is a story, the present is life.
The husband is now like a changed person, knows the importance of money, works hard to make money, and does not pay a salary for the month and writes a poem about oil:
"The Love of Salary"
Love you like your first love,
Every day looks forward to you.
See you once a month,
Getting together is too short.
Gather more for you,
I didn't work day or night.
Everybody likes you,
What if you don't.
Cherish you,
No more love.
For a good life,
Everything looks to the money.
Sometimes I feel that my husband and I owe each other in the past life, see each other in this life, my husband is not only the fate of my past life, but also the robbery of my current life, I can't escape, once joked with my husband, I came to cross you in this life.
You ask me, are you happy now? How to say it, happiness has no standard answer, happiness is a feeling, you feel happy, the family is safe and harmonious, there is a few spare money in the pocket, this is probably the life that many ordinary people dream of.
I now want to understand why we have been noisy for more than thirty years and can still be together, because we have experienced the wind and rain together, there are laughter, tears, confusion, tolerance, understanding, affection, and mutual concern and thoughts.
The best way for husband and wife to get along: they have experienced the wind and rain together, you know my hardships, I feel sorry for your difficulties, and the four eyes are opposite, all of them are pity and tenderness.
We are no longer young, my husband's face does not have the sharpness and lightness of his youth, the youth once entered a calm, stoic middle age, I am no longer the stubborn, wayward little girl, we are like the stones rolling down the top of the mountain, grinding away the edges and fangs in the bumps.
Holding the hand of the son, growing old with the son. Husband, when we are too old to go anywhere one day, sit in a rocking chair and talk about the oil poems you have written, okay?