It took me two days to catch up with the Netflix high-scoring drama "Rear Wing Outcasts," and I hope everyone can watch it, especially women. It is not only a super cool drama, but also a real "big heroine" theme. In fact, it took me several years to fully wake up: many domestic films and dramas, they use "female growth" as packaging, but the things they shoot are actually misleading women.
Those heroines, each with a bright opening, shrewd and capable, flawless makeup and dress, the point is that they are all kind-hearted, consistent in appearance, beautiful in heart, like walking Barbie, such as the two film and television dramas I introduced before, "Thirty Only" and "Emily in Paris", the opening setting of these two dramas is this routine.
You have to love yourself because someone will love you? Is it true?
Many heroines on the market who exalt "female autonomy" rarely have a dark side and a time to explore themselves. Even if they do, they are mostly pale; even if they are blackened, the screenwriters will give them the motive of "revenge". Overemphasizing the beauty of people and being kind, inexplicably becoming the premise of women's autonomy, like deliberately ignoring the difficulties behind each woman. To be honest, it's very pretentious.
After all, women who are honest enough with themselves will understand that women are very means, and their dark side can be so deep that you can't imagine them; they will be extremely stubborn, they will be hypocritical, they will be good at power; they can use love and sex as a means, rather than absolutely believing in values. Li Ao once mentioned: Women, they are the most capable of playing with men between the palms of their hands, but also make men unaware. I was a compliment when he was.
They are the flowers of evil, Wang Xifeng, Hao Sijia, or Mrs. Susan in Jane Austen's pen, all of whom have the power to become the dark male protagonists of "House of Cards". Basically, women are multi-faceted, but they are portrayed by film and drama as only a one-sided strong woman template, which is qualified as "female autonomy".
The most commonly heard words are, "Love yourself because someone will love you." Although I have a good intention, I have thought about it carefully and found that it is not right, why do I love myself because I want others to love me? It sounds like a deal, as if women have to be good and awesome before they are entitled to love and happiness. I know that many girls are so unconsciously brainwashed by film and drama works, thinking that if they want to manage themselves well, they will attract a very good spouse, which is basically the opposite of the horse.
Why do I know? Because, I was once one of the girls, and I was hurt by such film and drama values. I also see a lot of girls like me, with the wrong heart to love themselves (in fact, do not love themselves) directors and screenwriters, you have to have social responsibility.
Run yourself well, and you should not be driven by others
It's true to run yourself well, but it shouldn't be driven by the "other." When "Rear Wing Abandoned Soldiers" appeared, I was very touched and excited to watch it, and I even cried in the next 2 episodes, why? The heroine Harmon, what she does is not for others, her every thought, every decision, is based on her own observation of the people and things around her, in her heart to carry out a series of thinking impact, self-torture again and again, repeatedly examine the current situation and herself.
Her setting is a genius chess player, the plot is feminist-oriented, but does not deliberately focus on feminism, but let us witness Harmon's growth process all the way. The screenwriter is purely about letting the audience watch and observe how Harmon takes turns against one male chess player after another, empowering himself with "strength".
Harmon is a crippled heroine from the beginning, ostensibly well-behaved and obedient, secretly stealing, drug addiction, alcohol addiction, and deliberately forgetting the painful memories of the original family. But because of the influence of her high-achieving mother, Harmon has understood since childhood: "In the world, I only believe in my own strength and play chess for myself." 」
Interestingly, because she over-believes in her intuition and control, which leads to a particularly strong and stubborn personality, does not know how to turn, the whole play will also let the audience see how Harmon fights with this two-sided character of the copper plate, and finally has a real epiphany and quits drinking.
The strongest women in the world are their ability to adapt to loneliness
What is growth? Growth is accompanied by pain, growth can not be without darkness and distortion, you must be sad, only to know what is good. Growth involves awakening from mistakes. For a moment of coveting comfort, your mind is stuck there, just as Nietzsche said, someone is a camel all his life, not a lion and a superman.
There are even some camels, who are powerful and powerful, and mistakenly think that they have become lions, but they are not at all. They are just wearing gold and silver jewelry, even if they have status, but the works they hand over, the words, the business tactics, you know very well that they have stagnated, they are a camel. Harmon's mind is always growing, sex, dress taste, love, her ideas are constantly changing, through out-of-the-box rebellion and injury, while rebelling, thinking, observing the power inequality that occurs around her, until she finds the direction.
There is a concept in the play, and I think it must be focused. Harmon recalled that her mother told her that there was nothing to be afraid of, that the most powerful women in the world were not how rich they were, how powerful they were, how capable they were at the same time as their families and careers. "The strongest women in the world are their ability to adapt to loneliness." The phrase "Mother Harmon" is important, it is the true meaning of female autonomy.
Women, rather than be born to be ready for loneliness and old age, there is no true love in the world, you can stand in a sober enough angle, to love what you love, to identify with the choice. We are too often taught to rely on men, even if it is to pick potential stocks, but also hope that after the other party develops, they can live a good life, in the end, they still want to rely on others!
Therefore, you have to love yourself well, because no one will always love you, they can only walk with you for a while, will help you understand yourself, but they are not the focus of your pursuit. I hope women can have such self-awareness, and I believe that the play "Rear Wing Abandonment" can help you find the answers that belong to "self-realization" and "growth".