Hosted by Tencent News and Tencent Parenting, the 2021 Tencent Smart Parenting Annual Ceremony was successfully held in Beijing on January 11, bringing together experts and scholars in the field of parenting, maternal and infant big V, industry associations and institutional representatives, with the theme of "Journey to the Future, All the Way to Children", to analyze and discuss the current parenting environment, children's education hotspots and maternal and infant trends, and to seek valuable and innovative parenting concepts for the healthy development of mothers and babies.
Roundtable Forum 1: How to promote the three-child policy, how to conceive scientifically?
In the "Roundtable Forum I: Promoting the Three-Child Policy, How to Be Scientifically Conceived?" In the link, the founder of the Parenting Gang, Forbes China's top ten mother and baby parent-child KOL Sunny Day Mother, the parenting best-selling author and founder of "Big J Small D", the pediatrician and author of "Parenting Classic" Shrimp Mi Mommy, and the founder of Little Red Sister Delivery Room Story Zhong Hushun discussed this topic.
After the three-child policy was liberalized, although many families began to actively prepare for pregnancy, some young people were cautious about childbirth, believing that having children was not an easy task. Big J said that the biggest reason why young people dare not have children is the lack of exemplary power, and they do not feel the vitality of life and the beauty of raising children to grow.
Parenting best-selling author and founder of "Big J Little D" Big J
The landing of the three-child policy does not require every family to have three children, but to give an outlet to families who want to have three children but are still struggling. Society should allow diversity to exist, respect the people who choose to have three children, and diversity and inclusiveness are the cornerstones of society's progress. Big J believes that the parenting anxiety of young parents is because society's definition of success is too narrow. When the environment cannot be changed, individuals should learn to improve their parenting mentality. Anxiety is not terrible, and anxiety within control can lead to progress.
Big J put forward three suggestions for young parents: first, parents should use ecological vision to raise their children; second, parents should give appropriate space to allow children to play within a safe range; and finally parents must have a self-care plan. Many mothers will regret having children because they are too tired. While exerting energy and vitality, fatigue can also cause mothers to fall into low mood. This requires expectant parents to understand what the support system is before giving birth, and the division of labor and cooperation between the elderly, childcare sister-in-law or partner, and set aside part of the time to care for themselves. Raising children is the process of giving love, and when you are in an empty cup state, there is nothing to take out.
Big J emphasizes three sentences, first, fertility is instinct, parenting is responsibility, before childbearing, we must be clear about our choices, have the ability to bear the consequences; second, all life has a way out, parents should learn to properly let go of anxiety; third, when children are the least cute is when they need love the most.
Pediatrician Shrimp Mi Mommy said that only 2% to 3% of people really have the desire to have three children. From the reality, when young people cannot give their children a better education and life, young people will pay more attention to the workplace. Waiting until you are in your 30s to have children has missed the best time, and you need to do assisted reproduction in your 40s.
Pediatrician and author of "Parenting Canon" Shrimp Mi Mommy
Pediatrician Shrimp Mi Mommy introduced that the absence of the father should be divided into 2 situations. One is that the mother is all-round or particularly demanding in child-rearing, and there is no room for the father to pay. The other is the absence of the role of dad itself, playing games, laziness, and indifference to the family. Shrimp Mommy suggested that fathers should participate in pregnancy tests and accompanying births, specific to the fetal heartbeat measurement. Let dad and mom explore growth together and share the process of life, and dad's participation in the later stage will be higher.
With years of experience in the delivery room, Zhong Hushun said that in the past, when the two-child and three-child policies were not landed, some women would choose caesarean section, believing that it was safer and did not have to experience labor pain, no lacerations in the birth canal, and no worries about difficult delivery. What many people don't know is that in the past, the new type of caesarean section surgery implemented in many hospitals has a very large damage to the female uterus, which is easy to cause serious adhesions in the uterus, including the pelvic cavity, which is very dangerous for menstrual mothers. This is also one of the reasons why the fertility rate tends to be flattened after the three-child policy.
Little Red Sister Maternity Room Story Founder Zhong Hushun
Zhong Hushun told us that in some countries, it will be popular for husbands to accompany births, to feel the hardships and joys of the birth of a new life with their wives, and even to let fathers cut the umbilical cord of newborns in the delivery room. But in China, there are very few husbands to accompany the birth, and in the face of newborn babies covered with amniotic fluid and blood, the father who dares to cut the umbilical cord is even more minimal.
This is also related to the traditional culture of the East and the West, Chinese more subtle, willing to hide the father's love in the heart, in the house, money and other material areas to give more. Foreigners are more outgoing and express their love more directly.
Zhong Hushun called on the younger generation of fathers to learn to express. Starting from the delivery room, it is very important to express respect and love for the pregnant wife, accompany the wife to meet the birth and challenge of a new life during childbirth, and put the father's love throughout, including the stability and happiness of the family.
Sunny day mother believes that the marital contradictions caused by child-rearing problems are often played on the topic, and most of them treat the children as an extension of the husband and wife battlefield to carry out the game and control of rights. Many times it is not that dads are unconscious and do not participate in parenting, but because they are not born to be fathers, but need to learn the day after tomorrow to become fathers. Pregnancy will directly change the structure of women's brains and shape the nurturer, but the father is ten months late in this process, so the mothers must learn to tolerate the father's clumsiness in parenting, giving him the space to learn and grow.
Founder of Parenting Gang, Forbes China Top Ten Mother and Baby Parent-child KOL Sunny Day Mother
As a young mother of three children, she said that being a parent is a process of struggling with the feeling of scarcity. Our generation grew up in an environment where they were born, whether it is the parents of the post-60s, post-70s, and post-80s, in fact, they do not see too many happy, happy, and powerful female role models, so it is easy for young mothers to raise children and operate parent-child relationships in the perfect way imagined. There will inevitably be a lot of trouble in the run-in between imagination and reality.
Finally, Sunny Mom advises moms to understand that as a member of the family, you are not alone in the fight. Learn to find a reliable partner, partner, parent and even a sister-in-law for yourself.