01
Many men, after being discovered by their wives about their extramarital feelings, will use the word "scene" to explain their behavior to their wives.
But wives often don't believe such nonsense, and always feel that they say it to make excuses for their behavior.
Although this is not much of a problem, what men say is not necessarily a lie.
In extramarital relationships, men are indeed mostly playing tricks on the scene, and only when they encounter "special circumstances" will they be serious.
So what kind of "special circumstances" do men get serious when they encounter them?
02
The first case: the various conditions of women outside marriage are getting stronger and stronger than those of their wives.
A lot of women think that men are willing to marry you because they love you.
While this is also a reason, men will consider many additional factors when choosing the other half of marriage.
The simple summary is money, power, emotional value, and reproductive value.
It may be a little cruel to say this, but in today's society, feelings and marriages are no longer so pure, and more marriages are the result of weighing the pros and cons.
When a man has many choices, he will definitely choose the one with the best conditions, even if one of the conditions of a person is slightly worse, but if another condition is superior enough, then this one is enough to make up for this deviation.
So, wives should have such a recognition that in the beginning, when you get married, you must be his best choice.
But with the passage of time, as the relationship between two people changes, as the conditions of the wife herself become worse and worse, the position of the wife in the husband's heart will also change subtly.
At this time, if there is a woman who is better than his wife in all aspects and is willing to be with him, it is very clear what choice he will make. At this time, he must be serious about this woman outside the marriage, so serious that he is likely to file for divorce with his wife.
Of course, it is possible that when this woman first appeared, all the conditions were not as good as the wife, and at this time the husband was also a playful attitude towards this woman outside of marriage, but as the various conditions of this extramarital woman became stronger and stronger than the wife, the man's attitude towards the woman outside the marriage would also change, and it would become more and more serious, and gradually developed to the point of divorcing the wife and being with the woman outside the marriage.
While this is not absolute, it also represents the mindset of the vast majority of men.
You know, in the case that the wife's various conditions are stronger than those of women outside marriage, men will not be so serious about women outside marriage, at most, it is to relieve loneliness and make a scene.
Women may be a little unable to accept such a reality, but reality is reality, it is not a novel, it is not a movie.
When we see the pure and beautiful feelings interpreted on the screen, we will be moved, we will cry, and we will look forward to it, but there are too many temptations and uncertainties in reality, and no one can guarantee that they encounter pure feelings that are not one in a million.
Therefore, women always have to recognize the reality, and when they find that their husbands have extramarital feelings, they should not be impulsive, but to figure out the man's definition of this matter.
Whether it is really a scene or it has reached the point of extreme seriousness.
After figuring out the situation, you have to consider various factors, the impact of this matter on yourself, the problems of the child, the problems of life in the future, and the problem of whether you can really leave the other party, when all these factors are considered clearly, you have to make a choice that is most beneficial to yourself.
What kind of choice is in your best interest, only you know, no one can give you answers or suggestions.
03
The second situation: I really can't continue to live with my wife.
Whether it is a man or a woman, in fact, everyone is a habitual animal, and when they are maintained in a state for a long time, they are too lazy to make changes.
Men actually have the same mentality towards marriage.
Many couples have actually been too long, and their feelings for each other have slowly faded, but why can so many couples live a lifetime? Isn't it just habit, get used to it, just be too lazy to make changes again, besides, even if you want to change, there are too many things to consider, rather than making it so troublesome and so tired, it is better to live like this, after all, it has not reached the point of not being able to go on.
This is the psychological close-up of most men in marriage.
Under normal circumstances, even if a man has a woman outside, he is actually unwilling to change the status quo of marriage, and he is also a joke on the women outside.
But if you really can't continue to live with your wife, then this situation is another matter.
At this time, he actually gave up his wife in his heart, and in such a situation, he would definitely change his attitude towards women outside the marriage from the original scene to seriousness.
Whether it is because there is no way to communicate between husband and wife, or because of the endless quarrel between two people, or because there is economic dirt between two people, in short, at this time, in the man's heart, he has already removed his wife from his heart.
At this time, it is easy for the women outside to occupy the vacant position.
In fact, at this point, women can see the true thoughts in men's hearts from men's attitudes.
Therefore, whether it is a man or a woman, after marriage, you still have to run the marriage well, and don't let your marriage fall to such a point.
In fact, as long as there is still a glimmer of possibility in the marriage between two people, you can try to save it, after all, it is certainly uncomfortable to be abandoned by another person and transfer your feelings to others.
The wisest thing to do is not to give men the opportunity to find extramarital feelings, to manage the marriage well every day, to manage themselves well, to make themselves shine, so that he does not have the heart to think about the outside world.
04
The third case: the cost of abandoning a wife is less than the extramarital relationship being made public.
Men, in fact, are the animals that are most capable of weighing the pros and cons, as long as it involves their own interests, then the attitude towards extramarital feelings can also change from playing on the spot to being serious at any time.
Many men still do not choose divorce when they have no feelings for their wives, but choose to sneak up on extramarital feelings because divorce comes at a price.
But when the cost of abandoning his wife is less than the extramarital relationship is made public, his choice is obvious.
Maybe divorce will only bring him financial losses, but if his extramarital feelings are made public, then his reputation may be affected, and then work, and then if the wife divorces again, it will also add financial losses, and may also face the fingering of relatives and friends.
Of course, in addition to these on the surface, there must be more things that he needs to bear.
In such a situation, he will definitely choose to abandon his wife and son. After all, the cost of doing so will be smaller.
At this time, it can be seen that between men and women, even between husband and wife, there is also a game relationship.
If a woman doesn't want to be the one to be abandoned, she has to stay awake in a relationship and deal with it wisely when she encounters problems.
05
Therefore, when a woman encounters a situation where her husband has extramarital feelings, do not be fooled by a man's one-time joke.
First of all, whether he is really acting on the spot, even if it is just a scene, then you should not easily pass it, do not be emotional, and must deal with it intelligently.
Of course, whether it is a scene or not, it is still necessary to find out.
You can analyze from the several situations mentioned above, what kind of situation you belong to, and what kind of attitude your husband has towards you and the women outside.
These must be clarified.
Once you've figured this out, it's much easier for you to make a decision.
Of course, if things have reached the worst point, then you may already be very passive, if you can, you still have to try to be as hard as possible, turn passive into active, strive to maximize benefits, and let yourself not become too sad.
While I've mentioned the worst here, I hope things can turn around, after all, no one wants to go through a failed marriage.
In short, no matter what kind of situation you encounter, please face it bravely, when life falls into the lowest trough, your life will definitely be in the ascending period, so don't be discouraged, be full of hope for life.
Text/Fenghua