Wen | Cheats Jun
I have a daughter, and when my daughter was three years old, her friends and relatives were very anxious.
I especially remember one of my friends, who urged me to call a sincere one. I was in a state of flux, and I could listen to her opinion. But once I "fought back" and said, "See you all day urging me, why don't you get angry?" ”
Her eyes widened, as if incredulous, "Your family is a girl, my family is a boy." Haven't you heard that the eldest is a daughter, and the second can be born with confidence. The second son and daughter will be happy. The boss is not the same as the son, if the pressure of having another son is too great, you look around, many do not have a second child, are because the boss is a boy! ”
Listening to my friend's words, I kind of realized. However, if you think about it, the phrase "the eldest is the daughter, and the second is assured to be born" actually has a lot of misleading places. I believe that many people are intimidated by this statement and do not know themselves.
◆ "The eldest is the daughter, the second is assured to be born", beware that this is just a pretext for spawning
There are very vivid examples around me. She was "deceived" by the words "the eldest is a daughter, and the second is assured to be born".
She was a roommate with me, and in college we were both motivated young people, and after graduation we met to go to the big city together.
As a result, after two months of work, she told me that she was pregnant before marriage and could only go back to her hometown with her boyfriend to get married.
Although it was not a good job, we agreed that she would come out when the child was older, and I would wait for her here. As a result, less than a year after receiving her news, she was pregnant with a second child.
Now a few years later, I have made a home in the big city, and she has given birth to three children in her hometown.
The good thing is that the first two children she gave birth to were daughters, and the third child finally gave birth to a son, and she can not regenerate in the future.
According to her, when she was given birth to a second child, the people around her said that "the eldest is a daughter, and the second child is assured to give birth", she thought that she had enough two children to complete the task, but she did not expect that the fundamental reason for the family's birth was not just to let her have two on the line, but to have a son.
It can be seen that "the eldest is the daughter, the second is assured to give birth", in fact, the person who said this seems to be giving you the confidence to give birth to the second child, but in fact, it may just be a pretext for birth, "tempting" you no matter what, Mr. the second child is just.
◆ In a patriarchal family, the eldest is a daughter, and the second is not necessarily safe to be born
To be honest, in the eyes of many parents, the advantage of "the eldest is the daughter" is that the second brother will not be too stressful even if he has a son, and it is perfect. Even if the second child is still a daughter, those two daughters are always less stressful than the two sons.
However, in a patriarchal family, because the eldest is a daughter, she can have a second child with confidence, and if the second child is still a son, the daughter will suffer a lot.
A mother told me that she gave birth to a daughter in the first child, and a son in the second child, and the whole family was very happy, including her husband. But carefully, she found that the family' eyes were focused on the second son except for her, and it was definitely not because of the second son. This made her feel very unhappy, and vowed to treat her daughter well, at least she could not be biased because of gender.
It can be seen that "the eldest is the daughter, and the second is assured to give birth" reflects everyone's attitude towards the pressure of raising children and daughters to a certain extent. In fact, isn't it because he has raised a son, and he will solve the dowry and marriage room for him in the future, why don't you use it when you marry your daughter? In fact, in essence, this statement also has a certain meaning of son preference.
【What do you think?】 】
Senior nursery, psychological counselor. Understand the parenting and psychology, but also pay attention to the self-growth and family management of baoma, and strive to be the intimate person of mothers.
Welcome to pay attention to [Parenting Cheats], you want to know about parenting nursing, growth and development, family education, mental health, you can find the answer here!