Usually, I think I have a good relationship, and I have to get together with friends almost once a week to eat and chat. But when it came time to help, no one could be found.
Later, a remark from an old leader reminded me: "What friends are you making?" Is there real talent and practical learning? Is it in terms of ability to help you? ”
The old leader retired in the state-owned enterprise, I gave him as an assistant for more than a year, he went from a worker, all the way up and down, when he retired, he was the second in command of the unit, he liked to read, especially familiar with history, he told me such a story.
Genghis Khan's tribe was originally very weak in Mongolia, so why was he able to unify Mongolia and create a great cause? The reason is that he makes friends only by looking at talent and ambition.
The most emblematic example of Genghis Khan's eclecticism is Genghis Khan's discovery and appointment of zhebei. Tetsubetsu had been his enemy and a famous sharpshooter on the steppe, and once shot Temujin in the neck with an arrow, almost killing him.
After his victory, Temujin asked the prisoners of war who had wounded him, and Tetsubetsu came out to admit the shooting, saying, "If Khan wants to punish me and give me death, dare to ask for a slap in the face." If the Khan wants to forgive me, he is willing to serve the Khan before he charges the front, cut through the deep waters of the other side, and smash the black stone and rush it! ”
Genghis Khan was touched by this frank, brave manhood, thought that such a man could make friends, pardoned him, and changed his name to Tetsubetsu (meaning arrow).
After that, Tetsubetsu started from the Tenth Fu Commander, moved to wanfu commander, became the first fierce general of the Great Mongolian State, made the enemy feel frightened, and successively attacked Usha Fort, broke the Uyue Camp, Keda Shuipo, attacked the Wild Fox Ridge, fought in the river, took Yongguan, captured the city of Tokyo, destroyed the Western Liao State, and defeated the Russian coalition army. The reason why Tetsubetsu can change from a prisoner to Genghis Khan's right and left arm in conquering the world and make outstanding military achievements can be said to be the fruit of Genghis Khan's policy of "meritocracy".
Another time, Genghis Khan heard that there was a young man named Bo Bald, who was a good archer on horseback, and in order to recruit him, he promised to marry his sister to Bo Bald, but some of his subordinates objected, believing that the Bald family was too poor, with only thirty horses. Genghis Khan's sister was too wronged to marry him.
Genghis Khan said angrily to his subordinates: "I am looking at the talent of The Bald, not his family property." Marriage is about money, doesn't this mean that the merchant is doing business? The ancients said that it is difficult for people's hearts to think of a piece. I am now trying to conquer the whole world, and you are also the tribe of Begleth, and I am satisfied that you can follow the bald and be loyal to me, so why talk about any dowry! ”
The old leader went on to tell me that many people associate with people because they covet immediate benefits. Engaging with some purpose will not yield results. What Is worth learning from Genghis Khan is that while he befriends people, he also improves himself. Networking is a wealth with unlimited potential, but it also needs us to dig deeply, if it only stays on the surface, then, no matter how many people you make, it is just a quantitative accumulation, it will never reach a qualitative leap. So, give me two pieces of advice:
1. Be sure to make friends with both moral integrity and ability. Since ancient times, the most important criterion for selecting talents is nothing more than "virtue" and "talent", Genghis Khan's selection of talents broke through the restrictions of birth, class and nation, highlighted the talents of each person, and in addition to talents, he also deeply realized the importance of morality, just as the so-called "talented, moral capital is also; virtuous, talent is also handsome." ”
2, be sure to make friends who can make you realize the deficiencies. Good medicine is good for the disease, and it is better to make friends than to call them friends. A person can unabashedly point out your shortcomings and deficiencies because he really cares about you and hopes that you can be happy, such a person is worth paying.
After listening to the old leader's explanation, I felt ashamed of the "wine and meat friends" I had made before. The old leader said that if you want to improve in making friends, you must first learn to understand human nature, insight into people's hearts, first understand yourself, then understand others, and then recommend me a few books, so that I have time to eat, drink and have more time to study.