Text: Xi Xihuan
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We live in this world, there will always be people we hate, and we ourselves may also become the person who makes others hate, which is inevitable, just like everyone has a different interpretation of Lin Daiyu in their eyes, some people love, some people are annoyed, no one is perfect, not to mention that there is no perfect person in this world.
So what we need to learn most is how to "make peace" with people who hate us, or who we hate, because the way we get along directly determines our pattern, highlights our mentality, and even sometimes affects our careers and work.
Many people will say that as an adult, you must know how to control your emotions and know how to control yourself, which is the smoothness of being a person.
However, those who believe in experience know that when they really dislike a person, it is difficult to maintain a superficial relationship even if they are hypocritical.
However, for the sake of livelihood, for their own interests, or some other unspeakable grievances, many people choose to be hypocritical, even if some people do not suppress their temper, and finally tear their faces with each other may not be the real winners, because it is possible to lose more.
And really smart people will not choose to be tough, nor will they be wronged to continue to cater to each other in this uncomfortable relationship, because they know that when they especially dislike a person, they do not need to be hypocritical, nor do they need to tear their faces.
01 Learn to turn a blind eye
Some people live a very real life, and when they see that they are dissatisfied, they always want to express their opinions and want to interfere, but not everyone can talk and do things according to their own wishes.
Over time, the words and deeds of the other party have become the source of their own disgust in their own eyes, and it is not pleasing to see what he does and says.
There was once a colleague, she is a particularly serious person, whether it is for work, or for the surrounding interpersonal relationships, adhere to their own principles and bottom line.
It is reasonable to say that such a person is actually very self-disciplined, at least not as unprincipled as the wall grass, but everything that goes too far will increase the trouble.
Some people in the company are not accustomed to her such a practice, and over time, the two people are getting more and more unpleasant with each other, and colleagues even think how there can be such a person.
But in the end she learned one thing, that is, to turn a blind eye appropriately, as long as the person did not interfere with her interests, did not affect her work, that is, it had nothing to do with herself, and she was not accustomed to what the person did, and she did not see anything.
After learning this practice, colleagues found that their mentality was much better, and they also felt that their work in the company was much easier.
We all know that when we are particularly disgusted with a person, it is not an exaggeration to say that even the other person's breathing is wrong, no matter how he looks at what he does, he feels wrong.
But staring at the other person's words and deeds in such a persistent way is undoubtedly torturing himself, because he can't do everything according to your ideas, and you can never change anyone.
At this time, it is better to learn to close one ear and close one eye, the so-called eye is not to be bothered, in fact, it is the great wisdom of being a person, letting go of oneself, but also a kind of tolerance for others.
We need to know that another interpretation of disgusting a person is actually torturing oneself, and such a way of living is undoubtedly unwise.
02 It's easier to stay away from comparison
Zhang Yu is a very moralistic person in the eyes of his friends, no matter who encounters anything, only asks him, he will not refuse, will do his best to help each other.
But Zhang Yu especially hates a person, that is, one of his former classmates Zhao De, when he was in school, Zhang Yu looked down on Zhao De's personality, thinking that he was very hypocritical, fake feelings, and behaved well with everyone, but in fact only cared about his own feelings.
Coincidentally, after work, Zhang Yu and Zhao De became colleagues again, looking up every day and not looking down, Zhao De is very good at the source of the company, it seems to be very mixed, in fact, it is very dismissive.
Several times because of work, Zhang Yu and Zhao De had differences and quarrels, and Zhang Yu disdained to evaluate Zhao De's personality, but when it came to work, he had to be more truthful.
In the end, the department leaders were alarmed, and after mediation, the two people were also transferred to different groups, which was a good thing for Zhang Yu to let him breathe a sigh of relief.
However, Zhao De has since remembered the hatred in his heart, and from time to time deliberately tries to provoke Zhang Yu, because he knows that Zhang Yu is a violent temper.
However, Zhang Yu's personality in the company has been affirmed by many colleagues, and naturally he is not willing to watch him enter Zhao De's set, so a big brother who has been promoting him reminds him that it is better to stay away from him than to work against someone like Zhao De, so that it will not go as he wishes.
A remark was like an empowerment for Zhang Yu, which gave him a new understanding, and since then, no matter how Zhao De deliberately caused Zhang Yu to be dissatisfied with him, Zhang Yu would avoid him.
Zhao De thought that he had scared off Zhang Yu, and his heart was still proud, thinking that he was afraid of himself, so he became more arrogant, thinking that no one in the company could control him.
After a long time, because he acted too arrogantly, Zhao De made a very serious mistake in his work and was fired without hesitation after being discovered by the leader.
And Zhang Yu's "hiding" may be incompetent and cowardly in zhao De's eyes, but in fact, Zhang Yu is the final winner, not only letting the people he dislikes ultimately blame himself, but also allowing himself to learn to act calmly, which is also the progress and transparency of being a person.
When we hate a person, we will involuntarily lose control emotionally, it is difficult to maintain reason, because of disgust, so things about that person can not always be kept calm, which invisibly let ourselves fall into the wrong judgment, and even cause greater losses to ourselves because of small mistakes.
Disgusting a person, in order to live more soberly than the other party, reduce mistakes, rather than punishing themselves with the places that make themselves annoying, and continue to put themselves in negative emotions, people who will do this will eventually regret wasting time and energy on people who are not worth it.
As an adult, hating a person in your heart does not have to be shown, because the so-called true disposition is often a "stumbling block" in interpersonal relationships, which will make others feel immature, and hypocrisy is not a long-term solution after all, tired of their own hearts, and it will not help.
Instead of stubbornly staring at the person who makes you sick, you should first learn to adjust your mentality and let yourself learn to look at each other from another new perspective.
END.