Becoming Wang Lihong's child seemed like a blessing, before Wang Lihong divorced
With the tragic divorce story, can his children still be happy?
Yes
—Divorce—
If there is no divorce, Wang Lihong's children are not necessarily happy.
Wang Lihong complained that Li Lianglei used a child to blackmail him.
Li Lianglei complained that Wang Lihong had no feelings for his family.
Such a family, there is no sense of intimacy to speak of.
Such a family relationship, formal maintenance, lacks substantive warmth.
Compared to the coldness of hypocrisy, the real brokenness is not more terrible.
—Brave—
In general divorced families, children see other complete families, and they will feel ashamed of their own abnormal state of single-parent families.
Special divorced families, such as divorce to become a public event, and the abnormal story of divorce of a child family, is not conducive to his social relationship, and even encounters rejection, resulting in a sense of shame.
Shame is a feeling triggered by social emotions, but also a personal choice.
Parents of single-parent families need to pass on their children the courage to face this abnormal state.
If parents have the courage to face it, not to hide it, not to be ashamed of it, children can also get more courage from their parents.
Children can do it, maybe differently, but not ashamed of it.
—Honesty—
When a child asks, why is our family different from others? Why is the story of our parents known?
The best thing a parent can do is to tell the child honestly.
Don't underestimate the sensitivity of children, they can clearly distinguish their parents' lies.
Parental lies only increase children's shame and anxiety.
Divorce is a parent's choice, and when divorce is already a fait accompli, any cover-up and lies will only add to the additional burden of this fact.
—With Love—
What the family brings to the children is intimacy.
What children gain from the family is love, and they learn to deal with intimate relationships.
This does not necessarily require a complete parent to do it. A parent can do it too. When one parent does it well enough, it is even as effective as two parents.
Divorce does not mean the end of happiness, it is just a choice for both husband and wife for the marital relationship. For children, together with honest, brave and loving parents, they can still have a happy life.
(About the author: Junior emotional coach, moderate anxiety recoverer.) He is currently the Secretary General of Public Interest. Bachelor of Political Science and Law, Cheung Kong Graduate School of Business EMBA, Visiting Scholar of Columbia University, Visiting Scholar of Central European University, Think Tank Researcher, Columnist. ）
