After watching Cai Chongda's "Skin Bag", for the first time, I felt as if I had truly entered the story of the book with empathy, so that I spilled tears throughout the book. In the story, they struggle in the suffering of life, some are reborn from the fire, and some are crushed to pieces.
01
In the first story, Ah Tai impressed me, Ah Tai is Cai Chongda's grandmother's mother, when the writer's Ah Tai did not even shed tears when her daughter died, everyone scolded her for having no conscience, at this time she did not explain, just said coldly: "The flesh is not used for use, nor is it used to serve." ”
This reminds me of Zhuangzi playing drums and singing after his wife's death. Ah Tai is a cruel person, and even cutting vegetables has to be as hard as cutting ribs. Once she calmly shouted "Oops" in the kitchen, and in the hall I asked aloud, "What's wrong with Ah Tai?" "It's okay, just cut off your fingers." Ah Tai has no culture, and her life is difficult and bumpy, but the practical experience makes Ah Tai cultivate a stubborn heart that is almost numb in the face of the impermanence of life.
02
Cai Chongda's father's paralysis makes the whole family more difficult, and moreover, poverty brings not only the hardships of life, but also the intentional or unintentional alienation and avoidance of others. The strong mother's refusal to be given a handout or a sympathetic look, such emotions accumulated day after day, provoking the strongest reaction, one day, the mother could no longer control herself, smashed the car of the customer who came to refuel.
In such a situation, resentment is a common human feeling, and even the closest family members will have bad emotions under the devastation of life. Due to illness, Cai Chongda's father became grumpy and unreasonable, and he said the most vicious words to blame his family.
Shrouded in the shadow of disability, the whole family is also cloudy, but no one wants to give up. Everyone wants their father alive, even if everyone knows that one day this man lives, the whole family will be dragged down for a day.
It is said that the children of the poor have long been in charge, and perhaps it is precisely because of this that Cai Chongda will be so mature and rational. He planned every step of the way in his future, studied hard in high school, worked several jobs in college while maintaining excellent grades, because he had to reduce the burden on the family, and his bedridden father made it impossible for him to live as easily as his peers. Even, he couldn't stop for a moment.
Busy with work, busy with earning money, the time to go home has become less, the number of visits to his father has naturally decreased, Cai Chongda is thinking that he has more savings to improve the family's predicament, thinking that if he has money, he can let his father get better treatment, and perhaps, his father's illness will be better.
03
Finally, after working for three years, Kari had savings. When Cai Chongda was full of expectations for the future and felt that his father's illness was expected to improve, he suddenly indirectly reached his cousin's phone: his father had died. He, on the other hand, was not able to see his father for the last time.
Hurrying back to his hometown, my father lay there, quiet and peaceful. Cai Chongda's heart was irrepressible anger, and he scolded his father: Why are you so useless, you are gone after a fall, how come you don't pay attention to credit at all.
Then, his father's eyes and the corners of his mouth actually flowed out of the blood.
Relatives came forward to persuade: After death, the soul is still in the body, you make such a fuss, he can't leave, he will be sad to the point of bleeding, his whole life is difficult enough, let him go, let him go.
Cai Chongda was also terrified, he looked at the blood that kept pouring out, and whispered to his father like a child: "You go well, I don't blame you, I know you really tried..." When he finished, he couldn't help but cry.
When his father was really gone, Cai Chongda truly understood what he had lost and what he had missed. All these years have been busy fighting, in order to improve the family's predicament, but also so that the father can get better care, but forget, what the father wants most.
The greatest suffering in life is that the soul is subject to the skin bag, and manpower cannot withstand fate.
04
Cai Chongda, a writer born in 1982, was the editor-in-chief of the weekend pictorial news edition of Life at the age of 24, and the reporting director of the Chinese edition of GQ at the age of 27.
Han Han said: He will take this book on the journey and read it slowly on every quiet and strange night.
Bai Yansong said: This book never writes about distant worlds and distant people, but retreats to the heart in introspection.
Andy Lau said: Reading this book is always inspiring, just like adding an extra lamp to life.
Wrapped in 14 gentle and cruel stories, "Skin Bag" contains a life that has lost its hometown and has not yet arrived far away, just like us who are struggling in life. Life has never been a miracle, and everyone is hurting and running hard at the same time. Face the difficulties, survive the thousands of hammers in life, and harvest your own even ordinary life.