Wen 丨 Forest Mommy
Aya asked Zhou Xun a question on the show: "What do you think marriage is?" ”
Zhou Xun thought for a moment and said, "Don't ask me if this question is good or not, I am not qualified, I am yearning for it, but I am not qualified." ”
Marriage is indeed a very complex topic.
Even many people who have entered marriages, or even ended marriages, may not be able to say it clearly.
In the past two days, everyone has been eating Wang Lihong Li Lianglei's melon, the two sides have come and gone, played several rounds in front of the public, and finally Wang Lihong has stopped beating.
In the whole incident, the most impressive thing is Li Lianglei's first long article, the word count is really long, but everyone has read it patiently, many people have read their own situation from it, Li Lianglei This article really made many women follow the "reflection".
Some people have analyzed that from a certain point of view, Li Lianglei is actually a very perfect celebrity rich wife:
Have academic qualifications and knowledge, gentle and virtuous, there is no messy news before marriage and marriage, 3 children in 5 years, and also gave birth to a son, in public with her husband to show affection, participate in some celebrity wives to maintain relationships, participate in some public welfare activities to brush good feelings, and the mouth is still quite strict, Xiao S has no way to dig wang Lihong's things from her mouth... She did what a rich wife should do.
Unfortunately, such a "perfect wife" who conforms to her identity has achieved the first, and she has not waited for Wang Lihong to "change herself".
Li Lianglei used her personal experience to tell women that in marriage, grievances cannot be completed.
In the early years, Wang Lihong talked about his wife and children in Lu Yu's interview program, Lu Yu chatted with Li Lianglei before recording, she praised Li Lianglei for recovering well after childbirth, Li Lianglei said no, she and Lu Yu described:
"When I gave birth to my second eldest, I felt that my internal organs were in the wrong position."
As a woman, Lu Yu should be very empathetic, because Li Lianglei's answer is very graphic, which impresses her. So she chatted with Wang Lihong about this topic during the interview.
Lu Yu's interview style is to throw out a fact about an interviewee, such as "what I heard", and then instead of asking a question, he pauses and waits for the interviewee to speak on his own. At this time, the first point of focus of the interviewee to choose the explanation is often what he cares about most.
Generally speaking, in the process of chatting with people, the other party mentions that "having a child has a great impact on your wife's body", and the husband's first sentence will be "Yes, yes, she is very hard..."
But Wang Lihong's reaction was: "I can't understand this, but as a father's feelings, she can't understand it." ”
This is true, but it may seem a little ruthless.
Between husband and wife, or between family members, isn't the most important thing to be accompanied by "although I can't understand your pain, I know that you are in pain now"?
Wang Lihong's own aura made Li Lianglei endure, but she eventually found that such people will not pity and love you because of your tolerance and dedication, they will only continue to love themselves.
The most tiring marriage is "how I feel, you don't care."
This sense of oppression, like a blunt knife killing, is something that even if you live without worry, even if you are bright and beautiful after being outside, you can't stand it.
For a while, a friend around me encountered this situation, she was married to her husband soon after graduation, and she became pregnant very quickly, gave birth to a child, and gave birth to a second child, and her husband's family conditions were OK, so she did not work, and she has been at home with children.
The two people also came from the green campus and had an emotional basis, but even so, they did not manage the marriage well.
There are too many quarrels in life, because her husband plays games as soon as she comes home, because she has to buy expensive diapers for her children, because she and her mother-in-law always don't deal with each other...
I don't know when it started, the two people are getting more and more speechless, never caring about how her health is, whether the two children are good or not, as long as they quarrel, the husband turns around and leaves, a posture that I can't afford to hide, I don't want to listen to her at all, let alone communicate.
She was chatting with me, and I could feel her strength and despair.
She always asks, "What the hell is marriage, and why do people want to get married?" ”
I can't answer either, but I think it's definitely better for two people to be together than one, that's why they got married.
When two people get along, they always have to talk about "martial virtue", just like making friends: you pay a little, I pay a little, you respect me a foot, I respect you, you accompany me when I am in difficulty, I help you when you are hard, respect each other, support each other, so that the two people together can become better.
If, as soon as you enter marriage, you completely release the selfish side of people, and do not restrain the greed, laziness, lustfulness, and other parts of your own human nature, then the other person must be hard, and marriage cannot be maintained.
Men and women may be too different in many places to truly understand each other, but we must maintain a heart that strives to understand each other.