Wang Lihong's divorce "tearing each other" lawsuit continues to escalate, under Li Lianglei's continuous "heavy hammer", today, Wang Lihong finally apologized, said that he would no longer make any explanations and justifications, would pay attention to his words and deeds, and would assume the responsibility of a father, son and public figure.
This seems to be the habitual routine mode of many ordinary couples quarreling, and it is also the reason why countless people have changed from lovers to enemies.
A: It's all your fault
B: Is there something wrong with you?
Party A: Then let's take it out one by one for everyone to evaluate
B: Line by line, is it all my fault?
When we have problems in our emotional relationship, it is easy to feel and appeal to our grievances only from our own standpoint, but it is difficult to experience the difficulty of the other party, but it is easier for parents to ignore the truth and only favor their children, which is not difficult to understand, before Wu Yifan's mother sent her son to prison, and then There was Wang Lihong's father's behavior of appealing grievances for his son.
After all, the way a child grows up and behaves in a style also has a certain impact on the way of family education.
Why do conflict patterns occur during conversations? Often this has something to do with self-serving defensive mechanisms.
Only focus on their own gains and losses, never pay attention to what the other party says
In fact, in the process of quarreling, in addition to the catharsis of emotions, there is also valuable information output, such as the reason for their grievances, and even the transmission of their own desires and needs.
However, when the husband and wife only pay attention to whether they are inferior in face and feelings, and whether they have suffered losses, they will unconsciously use various ways to defend their image and status.
Therefore, he will take the child, the house, the car ticket as his own favorable "evidence" to prove that he is a poor party, the right person. Motivation is nothing more than to clear one's own mistakes and protect one's own personality, especially the nature of work like a star, which seems to be more sensitive to self-protection.
Being too aggressive when communicating is more likely to attack your partner than to talk about things
Many emotional disputes have a common problem, that is, quarreling and arguing, and have already begun to get rid of the problem itself. The resolution of the original differences and contradictions has been elevated to humiliation and attack under the grounds, just like the letter written by Wang's father, trying to prove that his ex-daughter-in-law rose to power by pregnancy and extorted hundreds of millions of assets.
There are many similar things, and when we argue and feel that it is an endless cycle of fruitlessness, we are actually out of the original problem trajectory.
Many lovers and couples in the process of quarrel "evidence", more purpose is actually to express their feelings do not feel love and hope to be cared for, but the other party's response and attitude, let her feel that "you are mentally ill, nothing to find things" and even more like Wang Dad's family, support their children, and finally such an emotional relationship can only be tragic or hateful.
After all, not all couples are public figures with public opinion media to escort, so many small couples will completely tear their faces once they get divorced.
In fact, quarrels are not afraid, the most feared is the wrong way to get along, so that the original unnecessary attack into mutual harm.
Avoid communication
In the face of the hysteria of the lover, some people will choose the way of passive avoidance, thinking that they can buffer each other's problems with time, but the avoidance is often cold and violent under the feelings of the other party, so as to exacerbate the original contradiction.
The outbreak that too many couples eventually causes is not necessarily the betrayal of right and wrong, but there is a deviation in the initial communication, and the emotions and grievances that have been backlogged for too long are not necessarily experienced. A good marriage relationship, the most basic is to start from the correct and effective communication, rather than in a way of avoidance, to resolve quarrels and resolve conflicts.
Parents are involved in too many small family things
Loving the son is a common sentiment of people, but there are too many things that excessively protect the calf and lack a sense of boundaries to participate in the marriage of the child, but it is one of the important factors that cause the disharmony of the child's marriage.
When the children grow up, they should handle their own relationships, especially the intimate relationship between husband and wife, as parents, they think that they are "just" to help and defend, under the feelings of the other party and others, it is a naked provocation.
When the quarrel between the two little families becomes a fight between two families, then the farce is no longer a bedside quarrel and a conflict that can be resolved, because it has escalated into a family war.
Therefore, parents learn to let go, which is a necessary part of the growth of children, and it is also the basic condition for obtaining marital happiness.
END
Text/Relief Emotional Station
(Author: Xiao Yu, psychological counselor, focusing on the emotional field), good at the restoration of romantic relationships, marital contradictions and differences, and the healing of psychological trauma caused by the original ecological family. The lonely journey of life, listening to your grievances and pressures, helping visitors improve their skills in getting along with the sexes, saving their lovers, managing their feelings, and striving to become happier people.