What is it like to have a high-demand baby at home? Mom shouted "be cured while crossing the robbery", is your baby a high-demand baby, how do you feel?
Mom @Lan Xiaoyang from the lilac mom app "premature baby care" planet shared with everyone the feelings of premature babies with high demand at home.
My baby is a premature baby born at 36 weeks, has hovered on the edge of term, weighs 5.8 pounds, is normal, and is actually very close to term, and there are no defects and sequelae. When the premature baby was sent back to me for all the normal assessment, I thought it was finally over, but I didn't expect that I was too naïve, and it turned out that this was just the beginning. For me, his premature birth is not terrible, after all, it is no different from a full-term baby, the terrible thing is that he is a premature baby with high needs.
Does every premature baby have a high demand? This is really a question from my heart. In short, every day that accompanies him to grow up is like crossing the disaster for me, and I can live until now with a strong smile, and I have a feeling of the rest of my life.
Those "robberies" that have been experienced
1
Loves to cry
I cried at every turn, and when I was a little month old, I didn't understand it, I thought it was uncomfortable, and I was frightened by his crying every day. He did have a lot of small problems at that time, intestinal colic, flatulence and the like, often crying from 2 a.m. to 5 a.m. At that time, our neighbors said that we could often hear children crying.
At first, I didn't know that this was a high-demand baby, and the crying often for unknown reasons really made me a little nervous breakdown, and at the worst time, he lay on the bed and cried, and I sat on the edge of the bed and cried, thinking in my heart: This child is a little demon sent by Heaven to torture me, right?
Now two and a half years old, I still have to cry several times a day, not because of pain and the like, but because of the reason to cry, but a little for no reason to cry, such as before going to bed, after waking up will cry first, although I can't figure out why, but I have become accustomed to it.
2
susceptible
Sensitive skin. Itself perfectly inherited my allergy constitution, I am from time to time will recur to look for measles, he is dry eczema repeatedly, smeared with a variety of eczema cream, cream is not good, change seasons easy to pimples.
Gastrointestinal sensitivity. Five months ago, flatulence, intestinal colic, indigestion are routine operations, various methods, massage have been used, there is no effect, can only stay up late to sleep. Eating milk powder and vomiting, it is really difficult.
Sensitive to sound. Sensitive to sound, wake up when sleeping, and frighten a little louder when playing...
In short, sensitivity is vividly reflected in life, and it feels like he is like a little lion that will explode at any time, and every change can be captured by him.
3
Sleeping dregs
When breastfeeding, I wake up every two or three hours at night, the highest record is to wake up 11 times a night, sleep shorter during the day, ten minutes is also a sleep, not to mention when the intestinal colic, my father and I take turns to sleep at night. So to survive until now, I am also hanging on to a breath of immortality.
It is difficult to coax sleep, and milk sleep and hugging are the most useful methods. When he was a little older, he also learned many methods on the Internet to train his self-falling asleep skills, tossed for a while without any effect, and finally succumbed to the reality of obedient milk sleep.
Sleeping shallowly, the slightest movement will wake him up, like I turn over, close the door, can wake him up. So every time he slept I had to creep like a thief.
I often hear people say that after weaning can sleep the whole night, put the Buddha and let me see hope, and when I was officially weaned, I found myself again too naïve, no night milk will also wake up at night, until the first time after the age of two, I was excited to record it.
4
Clingy
I want to grow up to my mother, I need my mother's company all the time, if I happen to be busy and respond late, then I start crying tactics to ask for attention and hugs. The mantra now is: Mom, hold for two minutes.
Now go to the early education class, a class of 45 minutes, our neighbor sister will not look for the mother the whole time, my family this 3 minutes can not see the mother will be in place to look for it, there is really no contrast, there is no harm.
So I often complain to my husband that my full-time mother really doesn't have any free time, even if my father comes home from work, he has always been sticking to my mother, and I am often stuck to irritability.
5
timid
Timid, usually loud talking, sudden noises (such as dad coming home and suddenly opening the door) will be frightened, usually not dark to ask for the lights, every time into the underground garage have to let hold. At the same time, we are extremely cautious about possible dangerous situations, such as dangerous goods such as circuits at home, and remember the warning once, and will not rush to explore.
The duration of the recognition period is long. The impression is that he is more than one year old and will go out to play and recognize the birth, others will be scared to cry when they tease him, not because he does not go out, every day to go out to play is also like this, and the vigilance against strangers is very high. When other children are all mixed together, my family is a bit alone and beautiful.
6
Easy to get sick
Probably because of premature birth, it is very easy to get sick, neonatal pneumonia, eczema, hernia, flatulence, intestinal colic, viral rash, pediatric convulsions... Not to mention the usual cold and fever, in short, there are many problems in the size, I feel that the nursing is exhausted, and I have to be hospitalized every year, which often makes the old mother's small heart suddenly accelerate.
Image source: Courtesy of the author
In short, raising a high-demand baby is to take care of it carefully and carefully in all aspects of life, and the requirements for care are also high, and it is precisely because of this that I resolutely resigned, and returned to full-time mothers from the workplace masters, just to take care of the children in all directions.
Looking back on the road with a baby for more than two years, it is really like a test for me, I am a person who does not have much patience, this high-demand baby has worn out my patience, I need to often swim on the verge of collapse, and there are a few times I really can't help but erupt, and then a little self-blame.
However, in the more than two years of wrestling with high-demand babies, I have also unlocked a lot of parenting skills, especially as the child grows up, the warm moments gradually become more and more, and in the process, I am constantly being healed.
Those moments of healing
You can cry and laugh, and a smile is the warmest weapon
Although there are many fans of high-demand babies crying, but people love and hate, how loud they cry, how cheerful they laugh, and even when they just finish crying on their front feet, they still have tears on their faces, they can give the mother of the child a smile, and the change of mood is really fast.
And people are very smart, since the discovery of the smile weapon, it is very good, before getting up, after the demon, when the petite, will squint their small eyes and smile at every turn, from the strategic victory.
Sensitivity captures mood changes and drives away emotional monsters
It is precisely because he is more sensitive, so he can always accurately capture my emotional changes, and every time he finds that I have signs of unhappiness, he will mutter: Is my mother angry? Then in a few minutes you'll come over and say, "Mom, don't get angry." Whenever this time comes, even if there is really qi, it will run out. It turns out that leather jackets can also be as delicate as small cotton jackets
Kissing and hugging love and pampering, all because of love
In order to fancy hugs, often will be spoiled, the small mouth is even sweeter than words, what "mother I love you", "you are the best mother", "mother is so beautiful", "mother you are okay", etc., these small love words are really applied to the extreme, but also with kissing the face, touching the face and other these actions, who can bear it.
And these warm expressions are exclusive to the mother, even the father will not have, this strong feeling of being needed, is the difference between the mother and other family members, think of being able to be trusted, dependent and loved by a person without reason, it is really a happy thing.
Timidity can also "protect" mothers
I remember once my husband and I had an argument because of something, the tone of speech was getting higher and higher, no one realized that it scared the timid baby, I didn't expect him to immediately shout at his father: Not to talk slowly with my mother! A sentence successfully extinguished the flames of war, the effect of this sentence is to slap dad hard, and I know how to "protect" my mother at a young age. To a certain extent, after having children, there are really a lot of quarrels, and the small family conflict mediator is indispensable.
This is how I raise a high-needed baby on a daily basis, bouncing around in the midst of robbery and being healed.
In fact, raising a high-demand baby, there is another point that makes me collapse, not from the baby, but from the family who do not understand. Because of the high demand, so many of his needs must be responded to in time, such as when he is a little old, he loves to cry, if he does not hug him, he will cry back, then there will often be seven aunts and eight aunts to educate me, the child can not be too accustomed, can not cry to hug and the like, there are such as children who are timid, they will blindly accuse me of not taking the child out and so on, in short, I can't understand my approach. At first I would explain a few words, but then I found out that they didn't listen to what I said and didn't bother to explain. The pointing from my family really upset me.
There is a saying in our hometown that some children come to repay the favor, and some children come to "avenge", which refers to this kind of high-demand baby that is more difficult to bring, and I used to use this sentence to comfort myself. Six months ago, I was really prone to getting into baby anxiety, and I always felt that why is my family different from other people's angel babies? Why is it so hard to bring? Fortunately, I myself have slowly adjusted and passed through that stage of anxiety, especially when children grow up and understand a lot, and they can feel the fun of having children more and more.
After a very uncomfortable collapse of the days, now I am more and more Buddhist and relieved, but also more understand that each baby is a gift from Heaven, itself is unique, raising a high-demand baby will indeed be more tired, but he is not a little devil, just need more attention and love, in order to grow better.
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