Therefore, Bow Lotus began to write a final letter to her first love, Zhang Congyu, in which she wanted to completely dissect herself and completely present herself in front of him, and she wanted him to know that she was once a bad woman with sores on her head and thick under her feet! She wanted him to know that all the misfortunes and tragic results of him and his family were caused by her alone! He shouldn't blame himself anymore! She alone is the real culprit in the unfortunate fate of so many members of their family! He should have completely forgotten her forever and ever! Because her soul is so ugly!
In this long letter from Bow Lotus to Zhang Congyu, she also expressed her support for his heart to the Buddha, saying that perhaps only the world of the Buddha can wash away all the negative things in human nature.
She read the written letter several times, and when she was satisfied, she put it into the mailbox. At this time, she really felt that her body and mind had a little peace of mind.
Bow Lotus began writing her own diary on February 28, 1982, and continued to write for eleven years until February 28, 1993. She named the diaries she wrote called the Lotus Diary. These diaries of hers were sent out because of her feelings for her husband. Now that she had sent her last letter to her husband, in her own words, her love affair with her husband had been cut. He wouldn't think of her again, and she herself wouldn't be able to think of him anymore! Her "Lotus Diary" also came to an end.
She thought that eleven years ago, she was still a beautiful young girl, but now, she is a thirty-year-old middle-aged woman! Life is short, years are fleeting, people, especially women, should cherish their precious youth, should not let their youth waste.
