Can intimacy be known in this way?

This realization comes from the book "Self-Reliance":

"I just have to be close, not covenant. I will try to support my parents, to raise my children, to be a faithful husband of a wife— but I must provide for these relatives in a new way that I have never done before. I have to be myself. I can no longer ruin myself for you, or ruin you. ”

After reading this sentence, I have a different understanding of intimacy, people need to find themselves in this life, and only when a person clearly finds himself and can clearly know who he is, then this person will not need, control, and rely on others. No matter what our identity is, in what relationship, we must learn to be free, we must learn to have an independent self, this "possession" is persistence, is to seek, is to sincerely face ourselves and each other, in today's identity is multi-dimensional, we must first face our own heart, every day to give ourselves a few minutes to independently think about their own life feelings, their own life experience. At the same time, do not be kidnapped by any relationship as the "covenant" at the beginning, and freedom does not mean freewheeling but also means a sense of responsibility under self-control, as Kant said: the so-called freedom is not arbitrary, but self-mastery. I also remembered what Teacher Luo Xiang said about truly happiness only by taking responsibility.

In this life, people need to find themselves. Only when a person clearly finds himself and clearly knows who he is, he will not rely on others, and will he not let himself fall into the situation of blind dedication and sacrifice, unable to withdraw, physically and mentally exhausted. You can also understand the meaning of spiritual independence, so self-reliance is for us to become a better person, to be firmly ourselves, your calmness, balance, strength and gentleness, is the greatest charm.