As the saying goes, "If the Son does not teach, the Father is at fault," it is not advisable to provide for his children to eat and wear without proper education.
If our children are not instrumental, get into trouble every day, and behave very uncultured, others will say when they accuse:
"This kid is not well tutored!"
"Where there is a father, there must be a son, and where there is a mother, there must be a daughter!"
"Not a family, not a door, a virtue for the whole family!"
Some people say that tutoring and door style are the biggest family assets. Establishing a good tutoring and door style is the richest wealth of a family, and future generations are inexhaustible.
In the past two hundred years, the Zeng Guofan family has "prospered for a long time and has talents from generation to generation", and among the 240 descendants, there are many talents, and none of them have lost a family.
Descendants of the Tsang clan
The influence of Zeng Guofan's family training on his descendants is very far-reaching, and he has realized Zeng's last wish of "long-term prosperity and talent".
For more than two hundred years, as many as 200 people from the Zeng clan have achieved success, most of whom have become elites in the fields of academics, science and technology, and culture, which can be called a spectacle in The history of Chinese families.
Zeng Jize, the eldest son of Zeng Guofan, was a well-known patriotic diplomat in modern times, who regained 400 square miles of land in the mouth of the Tsarist Tiger, and was the only diplomat in modern China to win benefits for the country at the negotiating table.
The direct descendants of Zeng Guofan include the famous poet Zeng Guangjun of the third generation, the diplomat Zeng Guangquan, and the famous educators of the fourth generation, Zeng Baosun and Zeng Younong. The fourth-generation grandsons of Zeng Guofan include Yu Dawei, who served as Taiwan's "defense minister", and Yu Daqi, a famous scholar.
Some people have made statistics: in the more than seventy years from his father to the abolition of the imperial examination system, the Zeng family has produced more than 20 talents, lifters, jinshi, and Hanlin.
The ancients said that "the gentleman's Ze V was beheaded", but the Zeng family did not behead the fifth. This miracle of blessings from generation to generation is admirable. This is inseparable from Zeng Guofan's original tutoring theory and its own Zeng family style.
Tsang's way of governing the family
Zeng Guofan official residence to rich family wealth, busy government affairs, but no matter how busy he will not forget to educate his children, it is said that Zeng Guofan alone wrote no less than 253 family letters, through the writing of family letters to continue to educate his brother and children.
He once mentioned in the "Book of The Family of Zeng Guofan" that such a way of governing the family was: "First, the harmony of your brothers; second, the filial piety of your body; and third, the practice of the word thrift."
He also has a "sixteen-character proverb", which says: "If the family is thrifty, it is prosperous, the people are diligent and healthy, they can be diligent and thrifty, and they will never be poor!" Reading Zeng Guofan's family letters, you can see his sincere teachings on his brothers and children everywhere. For example, in Xianfeng's letter to his brothers on July 21, 1944, he said: "Brothers and nephews in the family should always take the word diligence and respect as the law. A family can be diligent and respectful, although the chaotic world also has a prosperous atmosphere, a body can be diligent and respectful, although the fool also has a wise demeanor. ”
Zeng Guofan himself also vividly applied the word "thrifty" to the whole process of governing the family, he asked the family not to sit in a car, not to call people to take water and add tea, even to collect firewood, collect dung, plant fields and grass, but also to do their own work, as for the daughter's family's female red, cooking, spinning and making clothes, it is even more impossible to fake others. In terms of diet, Zeng Guofan is a person who is "not very demanding", who does not pay any attention to the pomp and circumstance of the prime minister, and only eats one product of vegetables per meal, and never sets up more, so he has a "one product of prime minister" elegant name.
Zeng Guofan held the word "diligent and thrifty" for life, and as a result, his official fortunes were prosperous throughout his life, and the Zeng family miraculously avoided the fate of "three generations of wealth".
Teach by example
Lao Tzu said in the Tao Te Ching: It is a religion that saints do nothing and do unspoken teachings.
That is to say, good tutoring and door style require parents to lead by example and use their own words and deeds to dominate their children, and such behavior is better than a thousand words.
Educating people first correct themselves, parents' words and deeds are children's examples, good tutoring and door style, to give children a good growth environment, in order to let children do something, into the society in order to have great achievements.
Zeng Guofan believes that it is particularly important to lead by example in small things, such as getting up, and "those who do not have parents get up and their children get up early."
He wrote in his family training: "The filial piety of all children to their parents will be a man with rules, a method of doing things, a relatives who rely on them, and those who serve near and far, and then the more their parents love them, the greater this filial piety." That's what he told his brother and son, and he did it himself. No matter how busy he is on official business, he will write letters to greet his parents at home, and whenever there is a problem, he will bow down and do it himself.
Zeng Guofan was so strict with himself and required to lead by example, and today, when many parents ponder deeply - teaching and commanding, imposing their will on their children, no matter what kind of exemplary role they have played, etc., are common discipline methods in many families. From Zeng Guofan, parents should learn that the premise of strict requirements for children is to first strictly demand themselves!
In modern times, many people ignore or ignore family education, always believing that school is the only place for children to be educated.
In fact, education is a systematic project, only under the joint action of the family, school and society, children can grow up healthily, develop in an all-round way, and quickly become talents. The first of the three is family education, school and society, because the child's first school is the family.
Parents are their children's first teachers, but also lifelong teachers. The family is the first lesson of man, but also the school of life. Family education is essential for a person's lifelong impact.