The movie "My Sister" is being screened, and screenwriter You Xiaoying said: "It is unfair to tell women what to do. We have always emphasized support, not domination. ”
Since ancient times, China has had the saying that "the eldest sister is like a mother", which is a kind of praise for women, but with the development of the times, more and more families have evolved this virtue into a variant of "helping the brother and the devil", and the "dark wounds" of the Chinese-style family have been revealed little by little...
"My Sister" tells the story of a sister and brother who are "born at the wrong time", and the parents are bent on seeking a son, and they are resentful of the only daughter in the era of the only child.
The sister who was fostered in her aunt's house since she was a child, when she grew up, she was just ready to open her arms to welcome a new life, but her parents died in a car accident, leaving a lonely young brother, whether to pursue independence to give her brother away, or to plunge into the "hot water" unmarried life with a baby, the ending is open, it seems that the sister is also hesitating...
However, this film based on a realistic archetype, the real situation is even more glaring. The sister was given two apartments, and due to the parents' emotional discord, the mother gave birth to her second child at the age of 21 in order to "keep" the marriage.
After the birth of the younger brother, the parents have been asking for the property, the daughter has never agreed, the parents died unexpectedly two years after giving birth to the son, and all the relatives have determined that the sister inherited the property and has the obligation to raise the younger brother.
However, the sister believes that her mother never had her permission to be an only child for 21 years, and finally she sold her two houses to live in the big city, and gave her brother to a family in the countryside, and made a note, "Never come and go."
Life and accidents, you don't know which will come first, the adult's willful behavior, resulting in the sister and brother "congenital discord", but also to the younger brother's "small and helpless" life to lay a sad tone.
And the sister's approach has also been criticized for "cold blood", at least leaving a house of property for her brother, her vicious words in the post, dripping blood -
"I'm glad I gave up on this so-called brother. The word brother, in the 21 years before me, had never made me feel sick. ”
Compared with the "fierce sister" in real life, the sister played by Zhang Zifeng is flesh and blood, and she has always had a problem in her heart before her parents' grave, but she has never been able to declare it, although she is treated unfairly by her parents, she actually wants to ask, "Do my parents have me in their hearts?" ”
This question will never be answered, but she found a hint of warmth in her brother, "If you come a few years earlier, I will love you more", and what you can't get is always restless.
The sister can arrange her brother, work and graduate school like a robot in an orderly manner, but after learning that she has found a foster home for her brother, she is "living abnormally", so that she loses her regularity and sanity, after all, it is still a family affection that is difficult to give up.
No matter what the final choice of the sister in the film, we have seen her growth in this sister-brother relationship, even if she raises her brother personally, it is not shackled by the phrase "the eldest sister is like a mother", but the "warm need" from the heart.
From this point of view, the "eldest sister like a mother" has long been pulled off the altar, it deserves a kind of praise, but it is by no means forced and suppressed, everyone is an independent individual, even brothers and sisters of the same father and mother, also have the right to choose their own life.
The Marriage Law stipulates that brothers and sisters who can afford it have the obligation to support their brothers and sisters whose parents have died or who are unable to support minors. Brothers and sisters who are raised by brothers and sisters, who have the ability to afford them, have the obligation to raise their brothers and sisters who lack the ability to work and the source of livelihood.
The law stipulates this, but there is also a prerequisite, that is, the word "ability" is emphasized, and the responsibility and obligation correspond, "I raise you small, you raise me old".
One day my parents are gone, should I raise my younger siblings? If it were you, where would you go?
Sugar mother has contacted an example around her, the parents are gone, relatives prevent the child from being adopted by the orphanage, thinking that "it is humiliating to say it", so the child takes turns to stay in several places, as if he is a "tramp", growing up, there is no quality of life to speak of, and the family affection is gradually indifferent.
Growing up, his biggest confusion now is, "Everyone has raised me, who should I give my pension to?" I can't afford it! ”
The poor are good for themselves, and the good is good for the world, and without others, do not persuade others to be good.
For capable brothers and sisters, raising younger brothers and sisters is a beautiful thing, but it also requires husband and wife to work hard and complain. The eldest sister is like a mother, the eldest brother is like a father, to meet the basic needs of life, but also to cultivate younger brothers and sisters into talents, and even to handle marriage, this is not an easy task.
And there is also a premise, that is, parents love each child like a jewel, there is no favoritism, from an early age to lay a good emotional foundation, no matter how tired they are willing.
If the above two premises are not met, the most innocent is the child who is born later, born in anticipation, but becomes a burden and burden of family affection.
Instead of waiting until the parents are gone to discuss human nature, it is better to be a pair of responsible parents, have a plan and preparation for the birth, and be able to take care of several children, whether it is resources or love.
A hundred years later, give your children a mutual dependence, and do it before you say it!