For Lin Huiyin, the winter of 1931 would have been a warm and tranquil place.
In September of this year, Lin Hui, who had recovered from illness at the beginning of his illness, went down the mountain on September 29 and ate lunch with Xu Zhimo on the same day. On October 1, Xu Zhimo wrote to Lu Xiaoman: "Xinger Huiyin came down from the mountain and ate lunch together, she had gained ninety-eight pounds... I looked like I was about to have a baby again. ”
On November 19, 1931, Xu Zhimo died in a plane crash. Bad news fell from the sky, and the mountain water lost its voice. Everything before was only warm, adding to the heartache. The loss of this time in his life made Lin Huiyin grief-stricken.
In fact, the tragic factor was already revealed long before it happened, even in the living room of Lin Huiyin's home, which was scattered with strong friendship. After Xu Zhimo went to Peking University to teach, he repeatedly urged Lu Xiaoman to leave Shanghai and go to Beijing: "Speaking of you studying painting, it is only right that you really deserve to come to Beijing." A Forbidden City is enough for you to figure it out for years. ...... Everyone is reunited. Shu hua has obtained Tongbo (i.e., Chen Xiying), and HuiYin has also had Sicheng... It's you and me, one south and one north. You say that I am willing to leave the south, but I only say that you will not come north with me. The result was not for everyone to be happy. But if you want to accommodate each other, I have been in Shanghai for many years, and it is too dangerous to go down, so I have to save money. I can't force you; I want you to come, and you won't come, what can I think? ...... I don't know how to think about it! ”
In this regard, Lu Xiaoman turned a deaf ear and continued to live a lavish and profligate life in Shanghai, refusing to come to Beijing with him. Xu Zhimo had no choice but to run back and forth between Beijing and Shanghai. In order to maintain Lu Xiaoman's huge expenditure, he taught at Peking University and Beijing Women's Normal University at the same time, the monthly salary of Peking University was 300 oceans, beijing women's normal university was 280 oceans, adding up to 580 oceans, at that time, the highest-ranking professors at Tsinghua University and Peking University had a monthly salary of 400 oceans, and the average family could support their families with 20 oceans. Xu Zhimo's income is already very high, except for 30 yuan of ocean pocket money left every month, he sends all of them back to Shanghai, even so, he is still in debt, he can't make ends meet, and he has to borrow money and advance salaries everywhere. Because of Lu Xiaoman's profligacy, relatives and friends scolded Xu Zhimo for his solemn righteousness, and he was speechless. However, "although the smoke does not come out, it is just swallowed in reverse, is it not worse and more entangled?" In early November, Lu Xiaoman sent a dozen telegrams in succession urging Xu Zhimo to return to the south. Xu Zhimo once again left Beijing and returned to Shanghai, and finally embarked on the road of no return.
From November 10 to 19, the last 10 days of the poet's life, each day was remembered thousands of times by the last friends who met each other, and each day was carefully recalled and found a word of sorrow. On November 10, Lin Huiyin and Xu Zhimo attended a tea party to welcome Dr. Burleigh, the sister-in-law of british female writer Mansfield. This was their last meeting.
On the evening of January 10, Xu Zhimo, who had bid farewell to the tea party, went to Lin Huiyin's home again, and met Lin Huiyin and his wife who had just left. Xu Zhimo sat down for a while, drank a pot of tea, and finally left a word. When Lin Huiyin arrived home, he saw a note that read, "Fly at six o'clock in the morning tomorrow, and the survival of this is uncertain..." He was uneasy and was busy calling Xu Zhimo. "Rest assured, very securely, I will still have to keep my life to see greater deeds, how can I die?" As Xu Zhimo's last voice, this answer to the poetic faith of life became a knot in Lin Huiyin's heart when he remembered Xu Zhimo. Behind Xu Zhimo, Lin Huiyin asked over and over again: "Who believes that such a person, such a person who is loyal to 'birth', will leave us so early and forever to throw himself into another world, forever silent, no longer let out some sound!" ”
On November 11, Xu Zhimo took Zhang Xueliang's special plane south to Nanjing, and made a special trip to Yenching University to visit Bingxin before boarding. Bing Xin asked him about some of his past situations, Xu Zhimo was disheartened, and wrote with a pen: "Say what in the past, the phosphorescence of the skeleton." ”
On November 12, Xu Zhimo returned to Shanghai because Lu Xiaoman had spent too much money, planning to help Jiang Baili sell the house on Yuyuan Road in Shanghai to earn a commission. As soon as he arrived home, he saw Lu Xiaoman swallowing clouds and spitting fog again, and there was a big quarrel between the husband and wife. According to Wang Yingxia's relay of Yu Dafu's words, Xu Zhimo bitterly advised Lu Xiaoman to quit opium: "Mei, I love you, I love you deeply, so I advise you to quit opium, which is harmful to your body." Now, how thin you are, I see, really sad, my eyebrows! "Good medicine is bitter, and loyal is against the ear." Lu Xiaoman listened, was furious, and casually threw the smoking gun into Xu Zhimo's face. Xu Zhimo hurriedly dodged, fortunately missed, the gold wire glasses fell to the ground, and the glass shattered... Xu Zhimo was depressed in his heart and ran away in a negative mood. On November 14, Xu Zhimo went to Liu Haisu's house to see his new works returning from overseas, lunch at Luo Longji at noon, and then to Liu Haisu in the afternoon. After that, for the sake of real estate transactions, it was a few more days. It was not until November 18 that he took an early train to Nanjing to his friend He Jingwu's house.
According to Xu Zhimo's original plan, he had planned to take Zhang Xueliang's special plane back to Beiping. At that time, Zhang Xueliang was stationed in Beiping as deputy commander-in-chief of the national army, navy and air force, Gu Weijun helped Zhang Xueliang to handle diplomacy, often taking Zhang Xueliang's special plane, Xu Zhimo and Gu Weijun were friendly, and often took the opportunity to move forward together. However, before leaving this time, Gu Weijun changed his schedule due to events. In order to participate in Lin Huiyin's speech for foreign envoys at the Peking Association and Chapel on the evening of November 19, Chinese architecture, and in order to save travel expenses and make money for his family, Xu Zhimo decided to take a free flight from China Airlines to Beiping on the morning of the 19th.
At 9:30 p.m. on November 18, Xu Zhimo went to Zhang Xinhai's house. Soon, Yang Xingfo also came. Xu Zhimo and Zhang Xinhai's wife Han Xiangmei discuss life and love, at this time, everyone noticed that Xu Zhimo was wearing a short and small suit pants with a hole in his waist. He also spun around like a spiral, looking for a long-lost belt, which caused the whole house to laugh.
Between laughter, Han Xiangmei seemed to have a feeling: "Supposesomething happens tomorrow ”
Xu Zhimo smiled mischievously and said, "Are you afraid that I will die?" ”
"Xu Zhimo, serious words, always be careful. Is the driver a Chinese, or a foreigner? ”
"I don't know! It doesn't matter, i alwayswant to fly (I always have to fly), I thought the weather was sunny and suitable for flying. ”
Han Xiang frowned and said, "You took a plane this time, what did Xiao Man say?" ”
"Little Man said, if I die on a plane, she will be merrywidow." Yang Xingfo then said, "All widows are merry!" ”
Everyone laughed. They talked about friends, xu Zhimo's life in Beiping after that, and state affairs, but they didn't realize that it was late at night. Yang Xingfo and Xu Zhimo said goodbye, and Han Xiangmei wanted to say, "Xu Zhimo will not come often in the future", but when the words came to his mouth, it became "Xingfo is still coming, Xu Zhimo is not coming!" Before leaving, Yang Xingfo was in front and Xu Zhimo was behind, and he turned his head and kissed Han Xiangmei's left cheek very gently and like an elder brother. Han Xiangmei added, "Letus hear you before the week is out." ”
Unexpectedly, this was the eternal recipe with Xu Zhimo.
On November 19, there was fog. Thinking of Lin Huiyin's speech, Xu Zhimo still decided to rush back. Before taking off, he sent a telegram from China Airlines to Lin Huiyin and Liang Sicheng, asking them to send a car to Nanyuan Airport at 3 p.m. that day. At exactly 8:00 a.m., the "Jinan" plane took off from Nanjing Ming Palace Airport on time and arrived in Xuzhou at 10:10 a.m. Xu Zhimo sent a letter to Lu Xiaoman at the airport, saying that he did not want to go again with a headache. Eventually it was gone again. At 10:20, the plane flew north again, and at 2 o'clock in the afternoon, when it encountered heavy fog at Dangjia Mountain near Jinan, it accidentally crashed into the mountain, "At the same time, the sky was black... Suddenly, along the side of the plane, a ball of light went straight down, and there was a bang—shattering my illusions in flight, and adding several piles of broken floating clouds to the blue sky." Everything sinks into eternal silence.
Lin Huiyin did not expect that this time she would not be able to pick up Xu Zhimo no matter what. The dispatched car waited until 4:30 a.m. to get no results. Hu Shi heard that there was a change in the way. The next day, the Beiping Morning Post published news of the air crash.
Jingping went north to the plane to cause trouble, and fell in Jinan yesterday!
The plane was completely destroyed, the passengers and drivers were burned to death, and the rain and fog hit the mountain by mistake.
[Jinan 19th Special Telegram] At 2 o'clock in the afternoon of the 19th, the Air China plane flew from Beijing to the Dangjiazhuang in the south of Jinan City, because of the heavy rain and fog, it accidentally crashed into the top of the mountain, and immediately fell down the mountain, and the reporter of this newspaper went to investigate... The tragedy is unbearable.
Hu Shi saw this, shouted, and concluded that Xu Zhimo was killed. He immediately called lin Huiyin. At 12 o'clock on the same day, the news of Xu Zhimo's death was confirmed. In the afternoon, Lin Huiyin, Liang Sicheng, Zhang Xiruo, Chen Xueping, Sun Dayu, Qian Duansheng, Zhang Weici, Tao Menghe, and Fu Sinian all went to Hu Shi's house, and everyone wiped their tears and sat silently, and Zhang Xiruo even wept and lost his voice.
On the 21st, Liang Sicheng, Zhang Xiruo, Zhang Weici, and the crescent poet Yu Gungyu took the Jinpu Line train to Shandong to deal with Xu Zhimo's affairs. The train arrived in Jinan, and Shen Congwen, who arrived first by night train from Qingdao University, was already waiting at the station.
Upon inquiry, Zhang Youyi,Corp. Zhang Youyi, then president of the Bank of China, had entrusted He Xiangbai, manager of the Jinan branch of the Bank of China, to prepare a coffin, drag Xu Zhimo's body out of the ashes of the plane, wash it, and put it on burial, and transport it back to Jinan by Dangjiazhuang and park it at the Shoufo Temple on the south of Xitou Road, Guanyi Street.
Shen Congwen then rushed to the Shoufo Temple with Liang Sicheng, Zhang Xiruo, and Zhang Weici, and in the light rain, he saw Xu Zhimo lying quietly in the coffin in this ancient temple full of altar jars and jars.
Mr. Xu Zhimo has changed into a set of high-class birthday clothes that can be obtained in Jinan City: wearing a small hat with melon skin, a light blue silk robe, plus a black gauze coat, and a pair of foundation black cloud-headed Ruyi Shouzi shoes at his feet. There are no signs of pain in the remains, as is usually the case when sleeping soundly, and it is very peaceful. The fatal injury was apparently precipitated by the moment the plane touched the mountain. A friend from Beijing brought a wreath of the size of a ruler made of iron leaves, as was common in ancient Greek carving, and it was known at a glance that it must have come from the hand of Mr. Xu Zhimo's former friend Si cheng and his wife. Placing the wreath on the coffin lid, friends can't help but think that a generation of poets who are usually alive, innocent, and talented, are really like "taboos by heaven", similar to the fate of Byron and Shelley, who only lived in the world for more than thirty years, and suddenly passed away in a chance accident!
Xu Zhimo, who was lying in the coffin, made Shen Congwen's heart ache: "Xu Zhimo wore such a dress that was completely incompatible with his usual temperament and hobbies, and quietly lay alone in the corner of the small temple, letting the rain in front of the eaves accompany him, seeing this miserable and lonely scene, the relatives and friends present could not help but burst into tears. ”
A little later, Xu Zhimo's former friend Yu Gengyu also rushed to the Shoufo Temple and saw Xu Zhimo's "slightly puffy face, with some red and white marks... Probably after being washed with burns. The eyes are not fully closed, and the eyes are still slightly exposed, as if they are obsessed with the person watching. Judging from the rectangular glass covering the face, it is not much different from before death, except for some puffiness." A staff member sent by the Bank of China to watch over the coffin, who also went to the scene of the plane crash to wash Xu Zhimo, told Yu Gengyu that Xu Zhimo's "legs have been broken, his hands are burned more seriously, and the others are not very serious." Thinking of the tragic situation when Xu Zhimo died, he saw that "a coffin was in full swing, and there was no one ... Bleak and desolate situation", Yu Gengyu was sad in his heart, and couldn't help but feel sad.
At 5 p.m., Xu Zhimo's son Xu Jikai and Zhang Youyi's eighth brother Zhang Jiazhu rushed to Jinan. At 8:30 p.m., the coffin was loaded into an iron caravan, escorted back to Shanghai by Xu Jikai and Zhang Jiazhu, and parked at the Wanguo Funeral Home, where many people were mourned. Lingbian cried down two people, one was Lu Xiaoman and the other was Zhang Youyi. 5 years of marriage, cast a big mistake. Lu Xiaoman's mother sighed and said that Xiao Man had harmed Xu Zhimo, and Xu Zhimo had harmed Xiao Man. Love is a mutual tolerance and compromise, but Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman have become mutual destruction. After Xu Zhimo's death, Lu Xiaoman kept the festival in green lanterns, dressed all his life, immersed himself in sorting out Xu Zhimo's manuscripts, and never went to the banquet venue again. Regarding the emotional entanglement with Lin Huiyin, Lu Xiaoman said: "If he had not hidden me from going to Lin Huiyin privately, he would not have taken this plane and died." I don't blame Lin Huiyin for her charm, nor do I blame Xu Zhimo for being obsessed with her. After Xu Zhimo's death, I have long lost my jealousy, but with deep repentance, eternal and continuous. ”
On December 6, Shanghai's cultural circles set up a memorial at Jing'an Temple to mourn Xu Zhimo. On the same day, the cultural circles of Beiping also held a memorial service, which was arranged by Lin Huiyin and Liang Sicheng, and more than 250 people, including Hu Shi, Zhou Zuoren, Yang Zhensheng, Chen Hengzhe, and Ling Shuhua, attended the meeting to mourn. In order to commemorate the occasion, the New Moon Monthly Magazine, Vol. 4, No. 1, edited the "Xu Zhimo Memorial", which published commemorative articles by Lu Xiaoman, Hu Shi, Zhou Zuoren, Yu Dafu, Liang Shiqiu, Yang Zhensheng, Chu Anping, He Jiahuai, Zhao Jingshen, Zhang Xiruo and others. In addition, the 4th issue of the Poetry Journal also compiled the "Xu Zhimo Memorial", which published commemorative articles by Fang Weide, Chen Mengjia, Liang Zhen, Zhu Xiang and others.
On December 7, 1931, Lin Huiyin's article "Mourning Xu Zhimo" was published in the "Morning Post" in Beiping. The second time in his life, Lin Hui was infinitely grateful, and he sighed three times.
Time shifted to a winter night in 1933. Zhao Yuanren and his wife returned to Beiping from the United States. Liang Sicheng and Lin Huiyin set up a banquet at home to receive the wind for them, and most of the visitors were Xu Zhimo's former friends. During the banquet, Lin Huiyin took out a banner written by Xu Zhimo on the eve of his departure from Beiping to Shanghai two years ago, and there was a shape like a plane hitting a mountain, and everyone in the audience sighed and sighed uncontrollably. Zhao Yuanren sighed and said, "I haven't played the "Sea Rhymes" he wanted me to compose. Lin Huiyin said: "It's the same with playing for me." Zhao Yuanren's wife, Yang Buwei, smiled and said, Naturally it is the same, it was written according to your story. Jiang Tingdian spoke out to stop it, saying that Mrs. Zhao should not be blunt. Lin Huiyin replied softly but affirmatively: "It doesn't matter." "Hai Yun Qu" is a musical work composed by Xu Zhimo and composed by Zhao Yuanren, the whole song is sung by soprano solo, chorus and piano accompaniment, showing the image of the girl, the narrator "Shi Weng" and the sea respectively, but unfortunately, after the completion of the work, Zhao Yuanren has not played to Xu Zhimo, so it has become a permanent regret.
At that time, there were many rumors around Xu Zhimo and Lin Hui, and most of the people in the circle of friends avoided talking about Lin Huiyin, only Yang Buwei was straightforward. And the equally straightforward Lin Huiyin was not annoyed by this, and said "It doesn't matter", which not only answered the concerns of friends' kindness, but also answered the speculation of all the good people. In the years that followed, she ignored the rumors and continued her deepest thoughts about Xu Zhimo in her own way.
In June 1932, Lin Huiyin re-entered Xiangshan and wrote a letter to Hu Shi, confessing that he was sad and sad, and for Xu Zhimo's "sad thoughts, almost a fixed pharyngeal infarction is firmly knotted in the throat, life is still running in as usual..." On November 19, 1934, Lin Huiyin and Liang Sicheng went to Xuanping, Zhejiang Province, to investigate, passing through Xu Zhimo's hometown of Jiaoshi. In just a few minutes after the train stopped, Lin Huiyin got off the train and stood independently outside the door in the drowsy night, "staring at the dark platform, silently recalling many fragments of the past that were not continuous, until the life and death actually became a blur, and life and train-like meandering a string of questions galloped through the sky", "Tears involuntarily overflowed out of the eyelashes". After the train arrived in Shanghai, Lin Huiyin, Liang Sicheng met with Zhao Yuanru (Zhao Shen), Chen Zhisheng (Chen Zhi), and Chen Congzhou. Day after day, she was always talking and laughing, gushing endlessly. Once suddenly silent, Chen Zhi couldn't help but ask the reason, Lin Huiyin did not hide the bleakness of his emotions, and asked bluntly: "Do you think that I am a woman's family, always talking non-stop?"? However, Lin Huiyin still had something to say after all. Kip shek's hasty glance opened up too many of her memories and thoughts. On the day of Xu Zhimo's death in 1935, she threw up her heart and made "Commemorating the Fourth Anniversary of Xu Zhimo's Death". At this time, the dust was initially determined, the personnel was far away, Lin Hui was no longer entangled in his heart, and frankly confronted the deceased's "undead", and a zhiyin's heart also jumped on the paper.
...... Although after four years you have separated from our world of common activities and have stopped participating in the main force of traction in the change of the body, no one can deny that you are still standing in our vague background, indirectly a force, especially in the efforts and beliefs of literary and artistic creation. Indirectly you let the natural rhymes and colors, the wind and moon white from time to time, all the emotions of man's lawlessness, still continue to live among us, still intertwine with us in this life's disputes, and continue to be born ideals. You are not too far away from us. Your figure is always hanging here and there, as ethereal as before you were born, love stops when people are not careful, laughter that brings courage is always so loud, and there are poems that have been sung by your enthusiasm or anxiety, and one by one, many people's hearts are still spinning.
……
You said in the "Preface" of the "Tiger Collection" that "there is nothing more tragic in the world than writing poetry", and you did not explain why writing poetry is a tragic thing, now let me give you a footnote, okay? ......
I admit that writing poetry is a dismal business, an isolated struggle among people, but because I know it all too well, your simple faith and sincere attempts on this, fighting for your peers, defending their emotional stupidity, praising their artistic creation, I have never sought vanity, I think you are always very relaxed. As you yourself put it, "full of blood" you "still haven't bowed your head", you yourself believe that "a little spirit is still struggling there", "you still want to make some noise under the oppression of real life". Simply put, friend, your motivation for writing poetry is to confess involuntarily, and your attitude in writing poetry is honest, brave and stubborn. When discussing your poems, everyone will understand this first.
…… ……
Whether our work will last forever depends on whether it will live in the hearts of those people we have never known, the readers of our works, scattered in the hearts of lonely people who do not know each other at all times and everywhere, this kind of thing has its own laws and does not need our concern. As far as I know, your poems are still floating here, and your shadow is thickly and jaggedly tied to those verses, and the other end is printed in the hearts of many people who do not know each other. Friend, don't underestimate this indirect survival too much, many enthusiastic people will increase their consciousness of life for your existence. It is only your dearest friends and the strivers of the same interests who are sad, and the fact that you are not among them will always be an emptiness that cannot be filled.
With the same poetic heart, Lin Huiyin and Xu Zhimo have the deepest acquaintance. In the article, Lin Huiyin started from the beginning, carefully commenting on Xu Zhimo as a poet, and as she spoke, Xu Zhimo's soul was between the lines. She and Xu Zhimo's past, knowing each other's understanding, finally became a mutual encouragement between the living and the dead through yin and yang.
Title: Stormy: Lin Huiyin and Her Time
Author: Chen Xinhua
Publisher: Chushin Publishing Co., Ltd. January 2020