"I do this for your own good" This is probably the most common sentence that parents say to their children, a very cruel sentence, I don't know if you have ever experienced this feeling.
When I was a child, my parents said it was for your own good, so they peeked into your diary and unlocked your door. When you grew up, your parents said it was for your own good, so they denied all your hobbies and secretly changed your college entrance examination volunteers. After work, your parents said it was for your own good, so they forced you to go home and become a small civil servant, marry a "good person" and have children.
Recently, there is a very popular youth movie "Dog Thirteen", which has a score of 8.4 on Douban, which can be said to be a rare domestic boutique, but most people on the Internet evaluate it as a happy person who can't understand it.
But this is not because the movie is so advanced and difficult to understand, but because it is too familiar, familiar as watching our own childhood and other early love abortion dog blood youth films, "Dog Thirteen" is actually about a girl "growing up" story.
The 13-year-old protagonist Li Play, who grew up in a divorced family, was not only disliked by his stepmother and even his only biological father he could rely on, but also a full-fledged son preference, and also liked to use the excuse of "for your own good" to use patriarchy to control everything Li Played.
Knowing that Li Play is allergic to milk, he will still use the excuse of "for your own good" to force Li Play to drink milk, and then watch her vomit all over the ground.
Knowing that Li Play was obsessed with physics, but her father felt that it was better to learn English, he coerced her to apply for the English group under the pretext of "being good for the child".
Li Play is wrong to drink secretly, and he should be beaten severely, but when he takes Li Play to eat outside, for the sake of face, he forces the child to "toast" in double standards.
When the half-brother was born, the whole family hid Li Play for two years, on the grounds that "I was afraid of affecting Li Play's grades, for her own good", in fact, it was a preference for sons and daughters, afraid that Li Play was jealous.
Li Play has not resisted, but in the violence and "for your own good" again and again, she finally grew up, learned to shut up, and "understood".
Her fake smile and hypocrisy have been perfectly burned, every day is quiet, no longer noisy, even if others give her dog meat, they can say thank you uncle, eat it with a calm face, and her father?
On the contrary, he showed a look of relief and pride, and I have to say that it is very ironic!
Dog thirteen, dog thirteen, doesn't it mean thirteen years old who is tamed like a dog, in fact, the situation in the movie is also the most ordinary and common family around us.
Parents talk about being good for their children, while treating their children as a private property without self, without dignity, right or wrong, it does not matter at all, "obedience" is on the line, which may be the most terrible part of growth.
This reminds me of the parents who sent their children to quit Internet addiction, and they also sent their children to hell again and again under the pretext of being good for their children.
Love, of course, love, otherwise how willing to pay tens of thousands of treatment fees a year, how can they hear children crying and crying when they are tortured, they just hope that children can "understand".
But in the eyes of the child, this is precisely the most painful and uncomfortable, desperate to breathe, and even a deep hatred for parents.
On the movie poster of "Dog Thirteen", there is a sentence that is particularly shocking, and every growth is a murder.
The so-called "right" and "good for you" of parents is likely to make the child feel hopeless, but they may never be able to empathize with this despair, and they will never learn to self-reflect, learn not to make changes, say that apology, but spit on the child.
To borrow a passage from netizen @Mei Xuefeng 1978:
"The so-called growth is the so-called socialization, that is, to learn to identify with the existing power and ethical structures, but people are naturally selfish. To get people from this stubborn only knowing the self, to recognizing and submitting to the operating norms of the whole society, you can only use violent means, there is no other way. Whether it's real violence or verbal violence. Whether it is in the name of education or in the name of love. ”
At the end of "Dog Thirteen", Li plays the half-brother sitting on the ground crying, also vomiting when he drinks milk, and his father also forces him in the name of being good for him.
Li Play, on the other hand, just watched indifferently from the sidelines, just like the adults who were indifferent to her, called the tragedy of growth, thus began the second cycle.
When the child obeys your expectations and is smoothed out into a sensible and hypocritical adult, the victim becomes the next perpetrator.
The deep-rooted tradition of family education and the unspoken rules of society have carved children into hypocritical and insensitive adults from generation to generation!
"For your own good" is not a tool and reason to use personal will as a shackle to forcibly bind children, every parent has also had the age to chase their dreams, maybe they have failed to fight, maybe they have succeeded but regretted, but please do not let the brave people become dragons!
Finally, I would like to say that adults have the helplessness of adults, perhaps parents really want to be good for their children, do not want their children to repeat his mistakes, but the charm of growth is not precisely that children have successfully realized what they dreamed of?
Says: Interesting reading for young people. Give you a big move to increase your knowledge in a posture.