01
Yang Lan has a period of understanding of marriage that makes me very moved, about marriage, she said such a very incisive sentence:
"The bond of marriage is about the common growth of the spirit, and in the most helpless and weak times, there is her to hold up your chin, straighten your spine, make you strong, and accompany you around." 」
A good marriage is a happy accelerant, even if your original family is not lucky, a good marriage can also make you harvest warmth, on the contrary, a bad marriage for us, will also reduce the happiness of our lives, let us feel tired.
A good marriage can raise people, a bad marriage will harm people, for marriage, its formation must be sacred, it is the union of two people's flesh, it is the conclusion of the spirit, once established, for many couples, it is difficult to be broken.
When we first enter the palace of marriage and promise each other, we must be 100% sincere to each other, but whether we can go on together depends on each other's sincerity in marriage.
If a marriage has no possibility of continuing, it should be stopped in time, if it is just blindly unable to put it down, using the psychology of "revenge", not only can not be liberated, but also make yourself physically and mentally exhausted.
Not long ago, Guo Nan got married, Guo Nan is married for the second time, and her wedding with her current husband is not a big deal, but many friends are sincerely blessed for her.
In the last marriage, Guo Nan was hurt too badly, and she has been obsessed, insisting on not divorcing her ex, and the two people have gone from cheating to completely cutting off contact with each other to formally divorce, which took more than a year, and in this year, Guo Nan clearly stated that she would not divorce.
But who is it that has been entangled with each other, and who has hurt?
Speaking of Guo Nan himself, such a Guo Nan is painful.
Now, Guo Nan, who is happily remarried, finally let out a breath and said to me:
"It's only now that I realize how stupid I was to spend so much energy on a man who didn't love him at all. I always thought that neither of us was happy, and I would feel a little better if I retaliated against him in this way, but after the real divorce, I realized that I was so stupid in the first place.
Now I understand that the best revenge for giving the ex is not to compromise in the wrong marriage, but to let the ex see the self that is getting better and better and slowly getting better. If it were not for the persuasion of friends and parents, I would not have stopped in time, I am afraid that now, I will still be in pain in a sick marriage. ”
02
Mention the love story of Guo Nan and Cheng Yu, it is also quite interesting, although they know each other on a blind date, but it is love at first sight, Guo Nan did not fall in love until he was 28 years old, when they first met, Guo Nan felt that Cheng Yu was also an honest person, and he was also very considerate of himself. They came together, and the parents of both families were also very supportive, and after more than a year of love, they entered the palace of marriage.
When they first got married, they lived very happily, Guo Nan always showed love in the circle of friends, watching the honest Cheng Yu would go home with surprises and gifts every three to five, and many friends complained that Guo Nan had met true love.
In addition, Cheng Yu is diligent, as long as they are at home, cooking and washing dishes in the kitchen are all him, and sometimes he will wash the family's clothes, and their marriage is really envious of others.
But no one thought that Cheng Yu, who was honest and friendly, would have an extramarital affair, and when Guo Nan gave birth to his second child, his figure was out of shape, not as good as before, and Cheng Yu's attitude towards her was much colder. At that time, Guo Nan simply thought that their relationship was just stuck in a bottleneck period, and by the time she found out that Cheng Yu had already made another woman pregnant, it was already too late.
For Cheng Yu's extramarital affair, Guo Nan's attitude is to drag, even if the lover comes to the door with great power, Guo Nan also adopts an attitude of ignoring it.
According to Guo Nan's own ideas, since she is not happy at this time, she will not let Cheng Yu get what she wants and marry her lover smoothly, so she did not divorce Cheng Yu, but continued the life state of the two people who did not quarrel or talk.
In a morbid marriage, dragging on for a long time, Guo Nan can be described as physically and mentally exhausted, Cheng Yu because of the divorce, every day back home does not talk to her, Guo Nan also can not understand, the lover and what he said, resulting in Cheng Yu not kissing his own children. In this way, the two people insisted for half a year, and Cheng Yu moved out, but Guo Nan guarded this home like this for more than half a year.
Compared with Guo Nan, the reader Li Lin was very bold when she divorced, and after learning that her husband had an extramarital affair, she decisively grasped the evidence of his extramarital affair, not only succeeded in getting the custody of the child, but also a considerable amount of divorced property.
There are really many kinds of meanings for marriage, but for marriage, if it does not give you happiness, it will only drag down your expectations of life, and such a marriage is meaningless.
Fudan professor Chen Guo once said: "A good marriage is based on love, and then slowly love yourself, love each other, love this relationship, from you and me, live a complete us." ”
A good marriage can really make you a poet, it will allow you to discover the best of yourself, to stimulate your potential, so as to discover more happiness, while a bad marriage will bind your mind, block your progress, and finally lead you to derail from happiness.
We all look forward to a good marriage, but there may not be good luck, everyone will have a blind time, if you encounter a wrong marriage, timely loss is the best choice. Who does not have a few big pits in their lives, and those who encounter mistakes must let go as soon as possible and get rid of the shadows in time, so that they can harvest more happiness in the future.
Take Guo Nan, for example, her "dragging" is not revenge on Cheng Yu, but also makes herself unhappy. You have been dragging yourself in a sick marriage, but the man still does not know how to pity you, and no matter how sad you are, it will only become more and more tired and disappointed.
It is better to be free, get what you deserve, and shoot and scatter with it.
Only by saying goodbye to the wrong person can you possibly meet the right person.
03
Moreover, in my opinion, for an irreparable ex, the best revenge is not how much effort is spent on him, nor is it blindly dragging the other party, on the contrary, the more you want to take revenge on him, the more you make yourself unable to extricate yourself and make yourself angry.
Instead of having such a connection with him for a long time, it is better to scold him a few times, and for the ex who has hurt himself, the best revenge given to him is to get better and better, as long as you slowly become excellent and independent, it is the best revenge for him.
In "The First Half of My Life", Luo Zijun successfully transformed from a full-time mother to a white-collar worker in the workplace, her enthusiasm and efforts for life made her turn around gracefully, and she also successfully let the audience see the most positive side of divorced women.
Compared with Chen Junsheng after the second marriage, the burden on his body seems to be heavier, and in the face of Luo Zijun's successful counterattack, Chen Junsheng regretted it.
On the one hand, the reason why Chen Junsheng regretted it was because after his second marriage, he saw The radical and hypocritical side of Ling Ling; on the other hand, he saw a different Luo Zijun. In his eyes, Luo Zijun, who once knew nothing or anything, only knew that shopping and beauty had completely changed into a person, and now she was living wantonly, capable at work, and secure in life.
So, he regretted it, regretted his stupid move.
Even if it is a wounded woman, you also have the right to pursue happiness, to know that your graceful turn is the key to your happiness and happiness, and only if you are good to yourself, you can have the possibility of harvesting more happiness, and when you completely let go of the past, you will find that everything that was once there was not worth mentioning.
Today's topic: After a divorce, what is the best revenge for the ex? Welcome to leave a message to discuss.
- end -
★ Author: Yibao; emotional original author, writing about the warm emotional affairs of this world.