A man who looked like Zhang Yixing suddenly danced coolly on the streets of Shenzhen, and a crowd of melon-eating masses were stunned. At the bottom of the thousands of messages, some people said that he "let go of himself, happy and festive", and some people commented that "it feels like a disease, and it is good to finish it".
I pay attention to this news because it quickly reminds me of a distressed teenager who tries his best to control this "dancing" impulse to do psychological counseling.
He is a conservatory student, majoring in composition. Recently, he found that when he was in class, he suddenly had a melody in his head, and his body wanted to dance with it, but when he looked at his teachers and classmates, he was afraid that they would be treated as a neurosis, so he controlled himself desperately.
When the students chatted together after class, some students would learn him to speak, which made him very angry, and the college's management of fights and brawls was very strict, and he could only clench his fists every time, desperately holding back the urge to hit people and smash things.
As these scenes became more and more frequent, the pain of forced control escalated more and more, he wanted to have a seizure, but he did not dare, he wanted to vent, but he did not know how to vent, and gradually he was less willing to go to school, and even he suspected that he had signs of mental illness.
When he consulted with him about who would remind him of this scene in his life, he blurted out, "My dad! ”
He read a lot of psychology books, and he concluded that his father was a controlling personality, from wearing slippers at home to which classmates to go to and where to play, where to eat, and what car to take. He couldn't go out without his father's approval.
When he was a child, he was very afraid of his father and did not dare to resist, and after going to high school, he began to protest in various ways, but his father always ignored it.
The news also reminds me of a girl with bipolar disorder who, whenever it's late at night, wants to open the window, sing loudly, or carry out some crazy idea that comes out of nowhere.
Her parents divorced when she was two years old, her mother felt that her life had failed, wanted to find a double life in her daughter, cultivated all kinds of painstaking cultivation for her daughter, piano, chess, calligraphy and painting needless to say, and her academic performance was even more pressing, which was called China's tiger mother.
Whenever the child shows a little fragility, he reprimands his daughter, "Don't be so unproductive, don't work hard when you are a child, and when you grow up, you will be ruined!" Don't cry, hurry up and practice, now is the era of spelling daddy, you don't have a daddy, you can only rely on yourself! ”
There is nothing wrong with having requirements for children, but blindly putting pressure on children, ignoring emotional feelings, and even emotional deprivation is the problem.
This is not alarmist, when our inner perception and our brain's thinking are in a state of division and extreme disunity for a long time, we are prone to psychotic symptoms.
Everyone has an "inner me, and this "inner me" consists of our bodies, our perceptions, our emotional experiences. As long as you meditate a little, you can hear the voice of the "inner me", and this inner voice needs to be heard.
We often see old people or young children talking to themselves, which is not a psychotic symptom, they are just talking to their inner selves. We will also have such moments of dialogue, but it may be more insidious.
Because our "outer self" requires us to appear to conform to social norms, we can't allow ourselves to look "neurotic" for a moment.
If our "inner self" is the "heart" in operation, then our "outer self" is the "brain" in operation, the ideal state is: we are "heart and brain unity", but now most people use the "brain" to live, rarely use the "heart" to live.
Especially whenever a negative emotional experience arises, we instinctively avoid and whitewash, have these internal conversations ever happened within you?
I can't show anger, otherwise the leader will hate me and won't make me feel better; I can't be so fragile, I have to have a mature, able to carry things; I can't be so sad, life, old age, illness and death are common things in the world, I want to go to work immediately.
Perception is closer to the real and the self than thinking, just like the baby is born after wow crying, this is a natural expression, such as the child is slightly older, want to cry but often stopped by adults, but do not know how to express emotions correctly, emotions can not flow smoothly, resulting in blockage.
Piles and pieces of negative emotions are accumulated in the body, and in the long run, every child can become the boy who always wants to vent, always wants to hit people, or always wants to do something out of the ordinary.
Socialization requires us to suppress these "inner" voices.
The more violently we suppress, deny, and stop, the more our perception and thinking split, the more our minds and brains split, and the more intense our inner conflicts become.
Anything repressed will not disappear out of thin air, but will only hide in the body, hide in the subconscious, and lie dormant, and make a comeback with greater energy at every opportunity.
When the destructive force erupts, the symptoms of depression, anxiety, compulsion, and even worse, psychotic symptoms appear.
The most authentic selves that you suppress will eventually appear in your life in another extreme way.
Whether it is raising children or self-nurturing, we must be kind to our perception and improve the breadth and depth of self-awareness. Giving yourself and your children more "permission" is the wisdom that people have to cultivate throughout their lives.
Any emotion deserves to be treated gently, and when we honestly face our feelings, accept and name these emotions, we become their masters; then we can identify, transform, and sublimate these emotions.
Even if occasionally we follow these emotions, follow the sensations of our bodies, like the teenager who danced inexplicably on the road, acted spontaneously, had a seizure without hurting people, and accidentally became a "neuropathy", as long as you don't care about the surprised eyes of others, it doesn't matter.
Born as a human being, who wouldn't have thought of yelling once in a certain valley?
When negative emotions are seen and allowed by our brains, subconscious motivations are released, and those dynamics of inner conflict disappear.
Everyone seeks to be seen all their lives, and first we have to see ourselves. Then our sensibility, rationality, and understanding can unite the three sexes and realize the harmonious unity of "inner me" and "outer me". This is the key to improving psychological immunity and staying away from psychotic symptoms.
I am @ psychiatrist wen to heal the heart - boiling words as medicine, may every small article bring a faint light of healing. Original is not easy, welcome to forward (forward please indicate the source), attention, like, message.