Wen | Wenjing
On the official account of China Youth Daily Freezing Point Weekly, I saw such a love story:
Lin Yiling, a 28-year-old girl from Beijing, whose parents come from within the system and worked in a bank after graduating from graduate school; her boyfriend Song Qijiu, 32 years old, from rural Henan, has just graduated with a doctorate and has two older sisters. Their love was ridiculed as a "love story between a country turtle boy and a Beijing girl."
What impressed me was the scene where the woman followed the man back in the winter, and as a result, less than 24 hours after returning to her boyfriend's home, the woman Lin Yiling "escaped" back to Beijing.
The reason is that it was the coldest few days in winter, and there was a hole in the roof of her boyfriend Song Qijiu's hometown, saying that it was used for ventilation. Lin Yiling put on a thick down jacket, hugged a warm water bag, wrapped in a quilt, "like a hen." She thought she was cold enough to wake up to her boyfriend, and his nose was red. Her room was newly air-conditioned, and hiss was not.
And the man's parents, in fact, have tried their best to do the best, the man's home is located in the village west of Luoyang, Henan, in order to meet the son's girlfriend, the man's parents renovated the dry toilet, and hit a new bed of 1.5 meters. But it is still too far from Lin Yiling's familiar life scene.
The love of the two people is still continuing, but it is undeniable that at present, the two people have encountered heavy pressure on the major events in their lives, buying a house and having a baby in the future, and relatives and friends netizens have advised them to break up.
For this relationship, many netizens are also a variety of different views, there is support for breaking up, there is support to continue to talk, public reason, mother-in-law is reasonable, the discussion is still extremely fierce. As a passerby, I would also like to express my opinion.
Seeing the love of these two young people, I can't help but think that a pair of friends around me are also similar, the two people have been married for nearly 20 years, have two children, so hard work, life is very good, but there is a premise that the woman's parents gave a lot of support and help in the years when they first got married, whether it is to help with children, or to buy a house, they have done a lot of things for their daughters and sons-in-law.
For this pair of young people, the door is not right, at the same time, there are also the dissuasion of the woman's parents and friends, there are two very real issues in front of them that need to be considered:
1. How to guarantee material conditions.
At present, the man's salary in the research institute is not high, the woman's salary is 3 times that of the man, and the two people rent a dilapidated community, which is understandable during the relationship.
But falling in love and getting married are two very different situations, especially when two people are in Beijing, a first-tier big city, with high housing prices and living costs, as well as issues such as the support of parents involving two families after marriage. Well, at the moment, the wage level has not reached a sufficient height, and two people are indeed insecure in saving money and buying a house.
The traditional Chinese concept is to have a home of its own, and some people may say that it is tacky to talk about money, but if you really live a life, you will find that there are many expenses in all aspects, and you can't rely on spiritual support alone; moreover, the vast majority of us are ordinary people, from the survival pressure of our entire social environment, as well as the family brand and future career development that everyone carries, it is not realistic to mention any material conditions.
This requires two people to plan their future family income and expenditure, and the finances of the whole family form a unified idea and concept, and work together to form a synergy to make the family's life better and better.
2. Whether the attitude towards emotions is rational and transparent.
Everyone's inner feelings are inextricably linked to our own original family, the growth experience from childhood to adulthood, and the university education we have received along the way.
Unlike some in the West that claim to be adults at the age of 18, two generations without interfering with each other and independent of each other, our domestic traditional culture is different, and home is our eternal entanglement.
Parents and children sometimes love and kill each other after the child reaches adulthood, parents are always uneasy about their children, but also hope for their children, and children often rely on parental help. But then there are also some frictions, such as: the sense of boundary between the two generations is sometimes unclear, the relationship between children and parents is also dependent and entangled, symbiosis and parasitism are integrated with each other, and the friction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is heard.
At present, the woman's relatives and parents have an opposing attitude towards this relationship, in essence, it is the love and care of the woman, but also the disapproval of this relationship, which requires both parties to use actions to win the understanding and support of parents.
For the man's side, the man, as the only son, works in Beijing, how to integrate into the man's family in the future, how to get along with the man's relatives and family, these are actually the problems that both sides need to think about and consider.
The sooner two people clarify something and the sooner they open their hearts to form a unified idea, the more rational it will be to deal with such related problems in the future.
At present, the two young people have similar hobbies, have been in love for 4 years, and have more run-ins in each other's living habits and ideas, the communication between the two sides is frank, and the emotional foundation is not bad.
In front of two people, both sides need to work together to solve, need boys can give girls more strength and support, especially in the future in the face of problems between two families, between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship, the two sides can negotiate a better way to deal with, do not let love in the trivial eating and drinking Lasa is consumed.
What do you think about the love story of these two disparate family backgrounds? Welcome to leave a message to discuss.
#"Middle Class" Girl's Love Story with a Rural Doctor #