In the whole of China's post-70s and post-80s parents, most of them may know the fairy tale king Zheng Yuanjie, even if they have not seen the fairy tales he wrote, they must have watched the cartoon "Su Ke and Beta".
But did you know that this prolific writer who did not have a lot of money had only attended school for four years, that is, he had never been to school for a day after being expelled from school in the fourth grade of primary school?
He later worked as a soldier, entered a factory as a worker, and then began to write fairy tales by chance, so he was out of control and became a well-known fairy tale king in China.
His life has taken an unexpected turn, and the way he educates his children is unique. His son, like him, did not go to school after graduating from elementary school, and he took his son home himself and wrote ten storybooks as teaching materials for teaching children at home.
His son was able to earn money to support himself before he was 18 years old, and by the time he was 18 years old, he moved away from home to live independently. Later, his son became a publisher and director. Judging from his son's professional achievements, Zheng Yuanjie's family education is very successful.
But such cases seem to have a little less reference. As parents, even if we think that school education can sometimes hurt children, it is not perfect, but we do not have the ability to teach children independently, and we do not have the courage!
So recently I read Zheng Yuanjie's book "Zheng Yuanjie on Family Education", paying special attention to Zheng Yuanjie's experience of how he trained his daughter to become a bully.
Zheng Yuanjie's daughter only attended kindergarten for two months, and was the first to last in the class in elementary school, but her grades in high school were at the forefront. Not only did she have good grades, but she also developed morally, intellectually, physically, and aesthetically, and won a full scholarship at the school, with a prize of up to 380,000 yuan, becoming the first student in her school to receive a full scholarship. At the end of his junior year of high school, he was admitted to 6 top universities in the United States with the first place in the whole school.
How did he, who had only been in school for four years, raise his daughter to become a bully? Did he let his daughter attend after-school classes? Is he a chicken baby like us? With these questions in mind, let's take a look at how this school bully's dad did.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="23" >1, let the child lose at the starting line, do not go to kindergarten, do not know how many 3 + 3 equals. </h1>
Zheng Yuanjie has always been a maverick person, he said, when others flock to the place where you must not go, focus on the place where there is no one, where there is gold everywhere.
Before him, there was no precedent for a person to write a journal in China, so he set this precedent in a maverick way, one person writing a journal, one writing for decades. In this way, he also introduced this concept into the cultivation of children.
We usually have to educate children to play with their peers more, but Zheng Yuanjie advocates that children should interact with their peers less, play more with older children when they are young to learn more things, young people can expand their horizons with adults, and in old age, they should be more with young people.
He sent his daughter to kindergarten, but found that the child had not drunk water all day in kindergarten and became ill. His son didn't have enough to eat in kindergarten.
So he felt that putting very young children in kindergarten was not good for their physical and mental development. So he only let his daughter go to kindergarten for two months, only two hours a day, only play with children, and not eat in kindergarten.
He never taught his children what they had learned after school, not only did he not teach it himself, but he also greeted all the family members who could reach her, and was not allowed to reveal that knowledge to her.
Instead, he told his daughter stories every day, and her daughter liked to listen to stories that were not repeated, so he made up stories for her every day according to her daughter's requirements.
These stories are critical to keeping your child's curiosity alive.
When the child entered the primary school, the teacher who signed up asked her how many 3 plus 3 is equal, she shook her head and said she didn't know, the teacher was very surprised, Zheng Yuanjie asked: "Your school does not teach 3 plus 3 equals several?"
He does this because he believes that knowledge without experience support is the destruction of children. Instilling knowledge in children too early will only corrupt the child's interest in learning and make the child immune to the thirst for knowledge.
This made me understand why the Ministry of Education is now banning primary school lessons for kindergarten children.
So, if you have kindergarten children, don't force your children to learn under the pressure of anxiety, let them spend kindergarten happily, play well, and take good care of children's thirst for knowledge than to put pressure on them!
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="117" >2, using reverse psychology, often let the daughter quit school and go home. </h1>
Since Zheng Yuanjie's son did not go to school after elementary school, and his son seemed to verify the success of his education when he grew up, he was eager to try it and prepared to let his daughter not go to school.
So the most common thing he says to his daughter is: You can not go to school, I teach you at home.
When his daughter heard that there were yokai in the story and became interested in yokai, she asked him what a yokai was. He took his daughter to the school gate, pointed at the teacher, and said, That's a monster!
Unexpectedly, this just stimulated the daughter's rebellious psychology, and the daughter who has always loved the monster has heard her father say that she can't go to school when she grows up, so she is extremely eager to go to school.
Of course, the clever Zheng Yuanjie found this crooked way, so during the elementary school period, as long as her daughter talked about the unpleasant things in school, he said, it's okay, you can not go to school at any time!
In this way, his daughter became the most school-going child in China, and when the holiday came, she looked forward to going to school quickly.
Contrary to Zheng Yuanjie's method of handling this treatment, the majority of parents, including me, we painstakingly teach our children every day to study well, to listen carefully to lectures, not to lose their minds in class, to prepare, to review...
By now we should all know why the more we talk about why our children are less willing to go to school seriously!
Think about my mother's generation, they often can't go to school because they can't afford to pay the tuition, my mother often tells me that she dreams of going to school, very happy, and I dream of exams, anxious!
So this reminds us to keep our mouths shut and think about whether what we say can work, and it is better not to say what is counterproductive.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="118" >3, lead by example, let the daughter develop a master of time control. </h1>
When I was in elementary school, I didn't know how many 3 plus 3 was, I didn't memorize a poem, I didn't recognize a word. Therefore, zheng yuanjie's daughter who went to primary school became the last in the class in the exam.
But he did not panic at all, and even asked his daughter, who could not enter the top eleven before junior high school, and must keep her grades below the middle level.
The reason for this is that he believes that he wants to be a school bully, with the final college entrance examination results as the test standard, from primary school to high school graduation for 12 years, this is a marathon, a long run rather than a sprint.
He observed that most of those who took the lead in the first half were not the ones who led the second half, and most of them would not be the final winners.
So he thinks it's more important to develop good habits and maintain a relaxed mindset before junior high school. Be a runner.
The good habits of the daughter he cultivated include many aspects:
Skip sweets, drink plenty of boiled water, defecate once a day, come home from school every day and talk to parents about what's happening at school, use your time efficiently, and read.
The first few are easy to do. But it's not easy for children to develop efficient use of their time.
Zheng Yuanjie said that he did not ask the child to go home to complete the homework before finishing, but the daughter consciously formed this good habit.
The reason is because Zheng Yuanjie is a person with the highest self-discipline, he gets up at four o'clock every day to write until six o'clock, and insists on it for decades.
He has a saying: To learn to be a bully, first learn from your father.
It means that if you want your child to be a kind of person, you must first become what kind of person you want to be.
Zheng Yuanjie's daughter later became the first person in the school to receive a full scholarship, precisely because she used her time efficiently, and after arriving at the high school with heavy learning tasks, she not only ranked in the top few in the whole grade, but also widely participated in various activities of the school and deeply developed her interests and hobbies.
Another good habit that Zheng Yuanjie has developed for her daughter is reading.
He told stories to his daughter from an early age, and when her daughter was below junior high school, he not only did not require her to have good grades, but also asked her not to enter the top eleven in the examination, and the purpose of this was to let her daughter not be stressed about studying and spend a lot of time on extracurricular reading. A lot of reading played a role in her daughter's junior high school, allowing her to slowly lead.
Seeing this, I have to agree with a point of view, family education is ultimately the self-education of parents. Only when they are excellent, children will become excellent.
The above is the secret of Zheng Yuanjie's training of her daughter as a school bully. After reading it, I was anxious about the current situation of not being able to go to extracurricular classes and my children's grades in the middle and lower classes.
Children's grades do not represent all, children's grades are not good, if parents are anxious, put pressure on children, not only for children to improve their grades, but also to increase the child's psychological burden.
Zheng Yuanjie never let his child go to an extracurricular class, not because he did not attach importance to his child's education, on the contrary, he attached great importance to it, because he attached importance to it, so he thought far-reaching, thought thoroughly, and grasped the essence of education.
After reading his book, I gave up the useless anxiety, but also seriously thought about whether I was qualified as a parent. We all love children, we should not blindly ask children to do what, before asking children to become what kind of person, we must first become that kind of person. Only when they are excellent, the child will become better and better.
Parenthood is a long-term practice, so let's work together!
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