Do you call your mom every time, and she tells you that she's fine, don't worry? She has friends and family to accompany her, and she is not lonely at all?
Do you think that visiting your mother once a week, or making a phone call, makes you feel filial piety?
Is this really the case? Do you really know your mom?
As a child, the biggest sadness is that when you are old, you understand your parents, but your parents are long gone, and you are left with regrets for more than a year.
Today I will take you to read this book, "One Day, Mom is Old".
Cover of "One Day, Mommy's Old"
This is a book jointly completed by a Korean mother and daughter, the mother Hong Rongnu, 92 years old, has passed away, and the eldest daughter, Huang Anna, is now in her 70s.
Her mother, Hong Rongnu, had never read a book in her life, and began to learn to read with her grandchildren at the age of nearly 70, and spent more than 20 years quietly recording her own thoughts. In the summer of 1995, the eldest daughter, Huang Anna, returned to her mother's home and accidentally found eight diaries recorded by her mother. With the consent of his mother and siblings, the diary was published.
This is the true inner thought of a mother, because she has no intention of letting her children know, the record is only to dispel loneliness, he is afraid that his children will know the worries, and he does not want to disturb the lives of his children.
Hong Rongnu and Huang Anna
(This article is written from the perspective of the eldest daughter Huang Anna, marked in red pen, all of which are the original words of Ms. Hong Rong)
Every mother is afraid of trouble with her children and becomes a burden on her children
My mother had uterine cancer surgery at the age of 68, and although she was cured, she was left with sequelae and always had leg pain.
Several younger siblings felt that it was inconvenient for their mother to live alone in the countryside, and they were very distressed about their mother, so they took their mother to their brother's house in the city, but their mother was very stubborn and had to go back to the countryside, saying that it was free in the countryside.
We have always wondered, what is not free in our son's house?
Later, I learned that my brother liked to be clean and cleaned his home spotlessly every day.
Mom has limited mobility, every time she does something, she will dirty the original clean and tidy home, when she sees her brother cleaning with a broom and a rag, she is very upset, thinking that she has caused trouble for the child.
During the days when Mom was hospitalized, we took turns to take care of Mom.
One day when it was my turn to take care of it, my little brother came to visit my mother and called her.
But my mother resolutely refused to let him come, saying that she had me to take care of her, which was very good, and that she should not run so far away.
I've always wondered how much my mother would like his children to come and visit him.
Then I saw my mother's diary
I didn't let my son come to see me today, my body hurt too much.
When my condition worsened, the children saw how upset and sad they must have been!
Although I said I wouldn't let him come, I still couldn't suppress the loneliness and pain in my heart.
Filial piety - not only filial piety but also obedience
My mother was sick and didn't want to go to our children's house, and I was worried about my mother. The last time I went, my mother had a bad appetite and didn't like to eat, so this time I stewed beef soup for my mother.
I said to my mother, this is a supplement to the body, you can drink more.
In the afternoon, I wanted to put the beef soup in the freezer of the refrigerator, but when I opened it, I didn't expect that there were only two spoonfuls left.
When I asked my mother, I knew that she had given it to her younger siblings.
I was very angry, called my younger sister over for a training, and cried angrily.
Mom is very frugal, she is always reluctant to throw anything, the yogurt I bought for her, has long passed the shelf life, I threw it into the trash can, but when I turned around, I found that I was picked up by my mother again. I yelled at my mother, can't I eat expired food?
But in hindsight, I always think back, I always look very filial piety.
Every time I do it for my mother's good, every time my mother does something wrong, I will be angry at her, yelling, in fact, doing this, is not hurting my mother?
Filial piety should be filial piety and obedience at the same time.
Mom is old, like a child, and even if it's wrong, we should go along with Mom.
Mom's loneliness won't tell you
Mom knew we were all busy and she was afraid of bothering our children, so she always lived in her own home in the country.
There is a large yard behind the house, since my mother is more than 60 years old, she has been growing all kinds of vegetables and fruits in the yard, as long as she can get to the ground, there is no interruption, almost in the ground. Every time we left, Mom would always stuff her stuff with the trunk of our car.
There is too much loneliness in life. So even when I hear a chicken crowing, I feel amazing and turn my attention to the chicken. I put the fun on growing peppers, vegetables and livestock like my children.
She had always been lonely, and that was what I knew only when I saw these diaries.
Throughout her life, my mother has always relied on the phrase "will come back" and waited for the children to come home.
Every time I had to leave the house, I took a few steps and looked back, and my mother always stood where she was.
She told me to hurry up and waved goodbye to me.
But her eyes kept looking at me.
Our home was desolate.
There is nowhere to settle down.
My son came to see me once a week and left after eating.
Jingran (the youngest daughter) is very tired at work.
But he never said anything to his mother.
My heart is lonely and lonely, and I can't sleep alone at night.
The harmonious atmosphere in the home is long gone, and only the cold wind remains.
No one was with me, and no one cared about me.
Whether there are ghosts in this world, whether there is an afterlife, I don't know, because no one has ever seen it.
But I know that Mom's feelings are real.
My mom was looking forward to each of her children coming home.
Fourth, good words are better than big fish and big meat
Mom is really old, old and old in our carelessness.
Last week, I came home and bought my mother's favorite roe, but my mother said that she could not eat it because of her high blood pressure.
I bought my mother's favorite little walnut, and my mother said that she couldn't bite it.
Mom said that when you are older, big fish and big meat are not digestible, stomach bloating, don't buy it again in the future.
I feel really sad in my heart, unconsciously, how did my mother get old?
After dinner, I pestered my mother to go down for a walk, listening to my mother tell the story of my childhood, my mother's eyebrows danced, and I was so happy to watch my mother.
I haven't seen my mother so happy in a long time.
As Mom said in her diary:
Even a small thing can move me for a long time; a warm word can give me great comfort. For me, big fish and big meat are not as good as a warm word.
After people are old and sick, children can say a warm word, which can make the elderly refreshed and find the courage to live.
Don't scold your own children in front of your mother
Generations apart, we are familiar with. Sometimes the naughty bear child really makes us very angry, and we can't help but beat up the child, but the old man next to us jumps out: "What do you do when you hit the child?" You're capable of hitting me?! ”
We always feel that parents are doting on their children.
Today was really sad.
My eldest daughter-in-law beat my grandson Rencheng, and I was really upset and didn't know what to do.
If you want to educate your children, you have to take the time to preach well! Just hit it once, don't say that others don't look good, and it will also leave a trauma to the child's heart.
I was so cruel that I always felt as if I had spilled my dissatisfaction with me on my child. I didn't have a good idea of saying anything, only to cry silently.
Were you surprised to see this?
This is the truest expression of an old man, and no mother will tell her child such true emotions.
They always think too much about their children and ignore their feelings.
When we were young, we hated our mother for nagging and looked forward to leaving home early;
In middle age, we run for our own little home and ignore the feeling of mother;
Perhaps only in old age can we feel empathy and understand what our mother thought.
I hope this book can arouse everyone's attention and love for their mothers, don't care about their mother's "duplicity", go home to see more, and don't leave yourself irreparable regrets.