Wen | Ziwei girl
The famous French writer Flaubert once wrote the following passage in his book "Madame Bovary":
"Before marriage, I thought I had love, but after marriage, I didn't see the happiness that love gave birth to. Joy, passion, intoxication, these beautiful words read in books, what does life really mean? She was hungry for answers. ”
In the novel, the heroine Emma, is a peasant girl, after marriage, she looks down on her husband and fantasizes about a romantic marriage; for this reason, she betrays her husband Bovary twice and pursues spiritual satisfaction. In the end, because of the high debt, marriage and life are a mess, he chose to give up his life and bid farewell to the world.
Fiction and reality, sometimes, also collide. In reality, love and marriage, women's thoughts, He Zeng was not the same as the heroine Emma at the beginning: marriage, but also romantic.
The love of youth originated from romance, spending before the moon, candlelight dinner, flowers, thinking that this is happiness; time, if you can stay in this moment forever, how beautiful it should be;
However, the reality of marriage is cruel, all seasons of the year, three meals a day, are needed to be maintained by money; in the end, romance, we must return to the ordinary life of chai rice oil and salt.
Marriage, always vigorous, a sentence of "I do", so that how many brides and grooms, ignited the fighting spirit that wants to protect each other, look forward to the beauty of marriage, as a result, how many couples, by the chicken feathers of life, choose to part ways.
Emotional discord, three views are different, domestic violence, this is the reason for divorce of most couples, I would like to ask, have you really worked hard for each other, for marriage?
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="10" >01, and older youth spend 180,000 to marry wives, sharing beds for less than 80 days</h1>
Men should get married, women should marry, all say that the older they are, they will not be picky about their marriage, in short, the marriage of older single men and women is really the same as "partnering to live a life".
Su Yong, 34 years old this year, is a native of Xiangtan, Hunan, and there is a younger brother in the family, who has also reached the age of 33, and the marriage of the two brothers has always made his parents very anxious.
On June 10, 2019, Su Yong and Wu Shuang, who had been together for a year, received a marriage license, Wu Shuang is an only child, working as a teacher in a kindergarten, and the distance between the in-laws' family and their mother's family is less than 5 kilometers.
However, after May last year, Wu Shuang moved out of his in-laws' house, and soon after, Su Yong received a divorce complaint from his wife Wu Shuang, claiming that the feelings were not harmonious. For his wife Wu Shuang to propose a divorce, Su Yong did not agree and was unwilling to sign the divorce agreement again, which was rejected.
Speaking of this marriage, whether it is Su Yong or Su Yong's mother, they all believe that from beginning to end, they have not treated Wu Shuang badly. At the beginning, the two sides discussed the bride price, Su Yong's mother bid 160,008, and the woman asked for 180,000 8, and she did not object. In addition, Su Yong's 5,000 monthly salary cards are handed over to his wife Wu Shuang for safekeeping, and it is not difficult to see that Su Yong attaches great importance to this marriage.
Today, the daughter-in-law Wu Shuang has filed for divorce, feeling that the other party has cheated on marriage. Why?
Since Su Yong and Wu Shuang were married for ten months, Wu Shuang often ran back to his mother's house to live, and the number of days he lived in the Su family in a month was less than 8 days, and the number of marriages in ten months and the number of times the husband and wife shared a bed was less than 80 days.
Subsequently, we contacted Wu Shuang and confronted her face to face, and she did not deny the words of Su Yong's family, believing that the reason for frequently returning to her mother's house to live was related to Su Yong and the accommodation conditions.
Su Yong works in the factory, usually work two shifts, a week day shift, a week night shift; Su Yong's family has two houses before and after, a house rented to local workers; one is Su Yong and Wu Shuang's marriage room, the distance between before and after is less than 5 meters, if Su Yong goes to the night shift, Wu Shuang lives alone, claiming to be afraid, insecure, Su Yong does not understand the black of the night during the day.
Secondly, Wu Shuang also came up with a "proof", the couple had a conflict before, Su Yong pushed and shoved Wu Shuang to hurt, Wu Shuang seems to have retained this evidence long ago.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="21" >02, ask for 188,000 bride price, woman's family: youth fee</h1>
Su Yong's family, living in Xiangtan City, has two self-built houses before and after, and has been waiting for demolition planning, so when his wife Wu Shuang got married, she did not buy a house. Only then did he ask Su Yong to give 180,000 8 bride price.
The bride price to 180,000 8, in the local area is not less talked about, the dowry of people around the marriage, most of them are also around 40,000 yuan, neighbors said, this daughter-in-law, too expensive. After getting married, he did not have an attitude of living a good life, and he also thought that the Su family had been deceived.
Emotional discord, only external factors, real reasons, Wu Shuang said that the couple, has not been able to have children, only to let the marriage, lack of a common goal caused.
Husband and wife gather less and leave more, usually there is no excessive communication, Wu Shuang treats her husband Su Yong, there is no hint of booing and asking for warmth, Su Yong, in marriage, there is no opinion, many times, will listen to the mother's opinion, but also aggravated the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Various factors may really make Wu Shuang feel that this is not the marriage she wants, so she chose divorce.
Talking about love is to get along with each other's advantages; marriage is to live with each other's shortcomings, the quality of life of marriage, can not meet expectations, both parties do not know how to keep fresh, feelings will slowly return to plain, towards the same strange road.
Any feeling must be based on emotion, and if it is based on money, such feelings will not last.
In the end, the two sides negotiated a divorce, Wu Shuang's father believed that his daughter and Su Yong had spent 2 years, but also paid affection and youth, there was no fraudulent marriage behavior, therefore, part of the bride price was counted as a youth loss fee, and he was only willing to refund 50,000 yuan.
In this regard, Su Yong's mother did not agree, because in order to give this dowry money, she borrowed 100,000 yuan everywhere. In the end, Su Yong's mother offered to hope that Wu Shuang could refund 100,000 yuan, and for this request, Wu Shuang's father said that he would discuss it with his daughter.
Afterwards, Su Yong's mother couldn't help but cry in the community, claiming that her money was also spent, and her son's marriage was not done well, and she felt aggrieved for her son Su Yong: "How did I meet such a woman."
Tears kept flowing from the eyes of the Mother of the Su family, she had worked hard all her life, broke her heart in her son's marriage, watched her son start a family, but did not expect that she was also involved in her son's marital contradictions, and felt deeply guilty.
Subsequently, we took the initiative to contact Wu Shuang to see what she thought? Wu Shuang said that he did not agree to return 100,000 yuan to Su Yong's family, claiming that he would wait for the second-instance judgment to come down.
Hearing Wu Shuang's thoughts, Su Yong on the side gently persuaded, hoping that they could have a good talk with each other, but when Wu Shuang resolutely replied and insisted on waiting for the second-instance judgment, Su Yong's face was full of pain.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="35" > the author's emotional summary:</h1>
Qian Zhongshu once said: "Marriage is a besieged city, people outside the city want to go in, people in the city want to come out." This quote, which is a classic, also explains people's true attitude towards marriage.
Why are we getting married? Is it because of the age, or the parents urge marriage, because they want to get married;
Whatever the reason, the premise of marriage must be that both parties have love and have a common goal, which can be to have children; it can also be to improve the quality of life.
What I am afraid of is that I will treat marriage as a child's play, my feelings will fade, I don't know how to cultivate; my marriage is not happy, I will divorce if I say divorce; I never think about my own reasons, and I am always picky about my dissatisfaction with others.
Marriage is not one person pandering to another; it is to accommodate each other and grow together. Marriage is never as simple as living together, and strong love is the recipe for a happy marriage.
Wu Shuang is indifferent to her husband's life and work, Su Yong is lukewarm to Wu Shuang, and her heart is not together, is there still a need for this kind of marriage? Hopefully, the two will treat marriage with a little more heart. There must be no idea that after getting married, receiving a marriage certificate, and thinking that this marriage can be long-lasting.