For two people who have been deeply in love, how to break up is rational and decent? I think it can be the peace and tranquility of "one is different and two wide, each life likes", or it can be the sober determination of "smelling the king has his heart, pulling and destroying it", or "the green mountains are in the green water, let you and I only remember the fate to remember the revenge".
However, in reality, in the face of the setbacks of the world's affairs, there are very few lovers who can really do it or are willing to "only remember the fate and not remember the revenge". Among them, the marriage of yu Dafu, a scholar of the Republic of China, and his wife Wang Yingxia is an example. One is a world-famous patriotic writer, the other is a well-known "Hangzhou First Beauty", their love began with a vigorous romance, but ended in the boiling of the unbearable.
On March 5, 1939, the anniversary special issue of Hong Kong's Gale magazine published a group of poems by Yu Dafu. In this group of brilliant old style poems, Yu Dafu exposes himself to the ugliness of his family and unabashedly exposes the extramarital affair between his wife Wang Yingxia and an official surnamed Xu.
At the time, the content of this issue involving celebrity privacy and peach-colored news earned enough eyeballs, and the special issue was still sold out after being reprinted four times. Major newspapers and magazines, even local Japanese publications, have also reprinted, and the whole country and abroad have been sensationalized. For the heroine of the incident, Wang Yingxia, this is something she did not expect.
Faced with her husband's accusations of "misconduct", Wang Yingxia quickly wrote two articles, "The Beginning of a Long Letter" and "Please See the Facts", which were sent to Gale magazine for response. In the text, she denounces Yu Dafu for deceiving, seducing, and persecuting herself, and scolds him as a "rogue literati."
At this point, the couple, who used to be known as the "Immortal Couple on the Fuchun River", completely tore their faces. Just two years ago, Yu Dafu also wrote a famous sentence in the "Diaoyutai Inscription Wall": "I was once drunk and whipped a famous horse, and I was afraid of being tired of beauty." In any case, Yu Dafu did not think that the relationship he insisted on fighting for was not only "tired" of the beauty, but also "tired" of himself in the end.
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On January 14, 1927, Yu Dafu met Wang Yingxia for the first time at a banquet at the home of his friend Sun Baigang. Wang Yingxia is a native of Hangzhou, Zhejiang, whose original surname is Jin and whose name is Baoqin, is the granddaughter of the famous scholar Wang Ernan, who followed Sun Baigang's family to Shanghai to avoid disasters due to the chaos of the Northern Expedition. By chance, Yu Dafu met this amazing woman at Sun's house.
That year, Wang Yingxia had just graduated from the Zhejiang Provincial Girls' Normal School, only 20 years old, with the elegant number of "water chestnut white", her skin was like gelatin, she smiled smartly, and she was delicate in Qingli. Sun Baigang described her:
"Her pavilion figure, healthy posture, sharp conversation, warm face at first sight, and the small family style of seeing men without that kind of twisted attitude, everywhere indicates that she is a smart and clever girl."
For a romantic and amorous literati like Yu Dafu, the attraction of this girl is fatal. That night, Yu Dafu showed a different enthusiasm, chattiness and generosity in the Sun family, and behind everything was because he fell in love with Wang Yingxia at first sight.
After that, Yu Dafu began to visit the Sun family frequently, meeting wang Yingxia almost every day, and writing letters without meeting. Yu Dafu wrote down his ardent pursuit of Wang Yingxia in his diary.
The night I first met Wang Yingxia, he wrote: "There, I met Ms. Wang Yingxia in Hangzhou, and my heart was disturbed by her again. This should be done with all his might, asking to be a permanent friend with her. After getting drunk, he wrote: "Lovely Yingxia, I think of her here, I wonder where she may also remember me?" When he was sober, he continued: "The south wind is strong, the weather is mild, the moon is warm, I really want to burn Yingxia!" ”
But on Wang Yingxia's side, she always kept a distance from Yu Dafu. At that time, Yu Dafu was 32 years old, and he was already married to Sun Quan, a woman from the same village who was arranged for him by his mother, and had four children. At that time, Wang Yingxia, who had just turned 20, was in her youth, and although she admired Yu Dafu's talent, she was still very cautious about this married man who was 12 years older than herself.
Sun Baigang and his wife, who were in charge of the care, saw the signs and were very uneasy. Mrs. Sun greeted the development of the two on their behalf, and Wang Yingxia refused to answer positively, and only said at the end: "I pity him." Sun Baigang found Yu Dafu again, reminding him that he has a family and a room, and he should treat his feelings rationally, but he did not expect Yu Dafu to say: "Let the facts prove everything!" This time is the adventure of my life, but also the sublimation of my life! ”
In this way, Despite the opposition of everyone, Yu Dafu still wrote love letters to Wang Yingxia one after another, finding every opportunity to get close to Wang Yingxia. In order to break Yu Dafu's thoughts, Wang Yingxia once pretended that the family had made a marriage contract for her and decided to marry someone else's wife, but she did not expect that Yu Dafu was still not dead hearted, and also wrote a 12-page long letter that shocked the world:
"I don't want to break up this happy event. But Ms. Wang, there is only one marriage in life, marriage and love, there is a delicate relationship, but you need to think about when you get married for more than a year, you have to be a housewife every day, or drag a child, bare breasts and other situations, I think you will be able to decide your current path. Would you rather be a slave to your family? Or would you rather be a free queen? ......”
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For such a talented man who was also dead set on himself, even if Wang Yingxia had no intention of him at first, she could not help but be moved later. But as a woman from a family of scholars, in Wang Yingxia's heart, reputation is the first, marriage is the second, and then love.
But in the circumstances at the time, it was impossible for Uddhav to divorce. On the one hand, his wife Sun Quan was already pregnant with Liujia; on the other hand, all his relatives and friends were all opposed to him marrying Wang Yingxia again.
Wang Yingxia knew that Yu Dafu could not divorce himself, so she decided to return to her hometown in Hangzhou. This difference, in Yu Dafu's view, is the distant future of reunion. In order to meet Wang Yingxia at the time of parting, he stayed at the station for two days, but no one saw him. Returning to Shanghai alone, he wrote tearfully: "Yingxia, I hope that the tears of this night can extinguish my obsession with you." ”
In April 1927, due to the coup d'état, Yu Dafu could not sleep at night because he was worried about Wang Yingxia, who was in Hangzhou, so he risked his life to embark on the train to Hangzhou from the south. During the few days of visiting Wang Yingxia's hometown, the two faced each other day and night, and talked on their knees, plus Wang Yingxia's grandfather was very appreciative of Yu Dafu's talent, and various factors actually contributed to the relationship between the two.
During their love affair, Yu Dafu also publicly published his diary of pursuing Wang Yingxia (that is, the later best-selling "Nine Kinds of Diaries"), and the love between the two gradually became a well-known topic in the literary and art circles. On the one hand, Wang Yingxia resents Yu Dafu for making his privacy public, making it difficult for her to ride the tiger in this relationship, appearing passive, on the other hand, she cannot deny the sincerity of Yu Dafu's love for her.
In June 1927, the 32-year-old Yu Dafu and the 22-year-old Wang Yingxia were officially engaged in Hangzhou, and in January of the following year, on the first anniversary of their acquaintance, Yu Dafu and Wang Yingxia were married in Shanghai. The legend of Caizi's pursuit of beauty has come to a happy end, and the Nanshe poet Liu Yazi once wrote a poem to give to the couple, calling them "the gods and immortals on the Fuchun River".
At the beginning of their new marriage, the two lived in an old-style Western-style mansion in Jiaheli, Hurd Road, Shanghai, and the blossoming of this love inspired Yu Dafu. He changed the decadence of the past, successively published a large number of literary treatises, plus his previous novels have been re-edited, and the complete works are published by the Beixin Bookstore, and he can get a considerable amount of royalties every month.
At that time, most of the family's income and expenditure were dispatched by Wang Yingxia, the economy gradually stabilized, and life was also orderly and on track. During that time, because of Yu Dafu's frailty, jaundice attacks, and slight signs of lung disease, Wang Yingxia used chicken juice, turtle, astragalus stewed duck and other ingredients to help him with supplements and conditioning every day.
The two had three sons in five years after marriage, and the couple mixed the oil in the honey, as if they were living the days of "fairy lovers" in other people. But the good times were short-lived, but Uddhav's eccentric personality soon cast a shadow over the new family.
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Yudaf is an amorous and romantic person to the bone, so it is difficult to endure all the monotony, tedium and bondage of ordinary life. He was self-absorbed and had a wide range of friends, often getting drunk outside with friends, sometimes sleeping on the main road when he was drunk. Wang Yingxia advised him to drink less, but Yu Dafu played with the child's temper and hated her.
In the summer of 1929, Yu Dafu's second brother came from Fuyang, and because Wang Yingxia interfered with his drinking, Yu Dafu ran away from home in a rage and did not return all night. What annoyed Wang Yingxia even more was that Yu Dafu repeatedly promised before marriage that he would stop contacting the original partner Sun Quan, but in fact he still broke off the connection with her.
One day in 1932, after an argument between the two, Yu Dafu went to Fuyang alone for a week with a sum of money from his family. Because Yu Dafu and Sun Quan did not really divorce at that time, the combination of him and Wang Yingxia belonged at most to the "two big heads" of the transition between the old and new marriages, which has always made Wang Yingxia feel that her self-esteem has been hurt.
Later, Yu Dafu wrote a copyright transfer letter under the witness of his lawyers and friends, and handed over the copyrights of his books such as "Cold Ash Collection", "Chicken Rib Collection" and "Nine Kinds of Diaries" to Wang Yingxia, and the storm was calmed.
In addition, other personality conflicts in the marriage of the two have gradually been exposed over time. Wang Yingxia is lively and outgoing, keen on high-society social interaction and various activities, but Yu Dafu does not love his wife to show her face. In her later years, Wang Yingxia recalled their married life and said:
"After marriage, he didn't like me to dress up, not to interact with friends much, not even to go out alone; once when he wanted to go out with him, he said: 'Let me see.'" Oh, it's not okay to dress like this, you don't have to go'; another time, I went with him to the house of a female classmate, and the female classmate forced me to stay overnight. He agreed to go back first, and the next day he was so angry that he had removed all the covers; sometimes, when the nanny said I was out on the street alone, he panicked and took the car to chase and look for it. ”
The huge differences in personality and lifestyle made the emotional rift between the two grow larger and larger, and Wang Yingxia also began to wonder whether Yu Dafu deserved the best of his youth.
In 1933, Yu Dafu, who was not very smooth in life and career, took Wang Yingxia and moved his family to Hangzhou. In Wang Yingxia's hometown, Yu Dafu took out all his savings to buy a vacant land, and built a villa in two years, Yu Dafu named it "Wind and Rain Maolu", and the desolate Xiao Suo in it also foreshadowed the direction of his marriage with Wang Yingxia.
In the autumn of 1935, the "Stormy Hut" was built, but it was not the paradise that Yu Dafu had envisioned, but became a place for celebrities to socialize with political leaders. At that time, although Yu Dafu was a literati, he was already famous all over the world, and Zhejiang politicians were proud to be attached to him.
During this time, Wang Yingxia quickly became a star in Hangzhou's social occasions with her outstanding social talent, and was once known as "Hangzhou's first beauty".
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In the intertwined communication field, wang Yingxia, who was emotionally frustrated, gradually regained the glory of the past. She dressed herself up every day and socialized with different friends of Yudaf. The identity of the hostess greatly makes up for Wang Yingxia's emptiness and resentment in the marriage.
In contrast, Yu Dafu did not have many moments to enjoy the glory brought to him by the "wind and rain". In 1937, Yu Dafu was invited to serve as a senator of the Fujian Provincial Government and went south to participate in anti-Japanese activities, while Wang Yingxia took her children to Lishui for refuge.
In the days when the couple lived apart, the distance did not produce beauty, but on the contrary, it increased the contradictions and suspicions between each other. During the Escape from Lishui, Wang Yingxia and Xu Shaodi, the director of the Zhejiang Education Department, happened to be neighbors. At that time, Xu Shaodi's wife had just died of illness, and he lived alone with his children, and the two families often moved around each other.
One was a beautiful person living alone, the other was a widowed official, and all the time, rumors about the two were rife, so Yu Dafu's letters urging him to go home reached Wang Yingxia's hands one by one, and Wang had to return to her husband, who had been transferred to Wuhan.
However, not long after Wang Yingxia returned, Yu Dafu found three ambiguously worded "love letters" written by Xu Shaodi to his wife at home, and he immediately concluded that his wife Hongxing was out of the wall, and he shouted in front of his friends: "I never thought she would be so faceless!"
Furious, Yu Dafu photographed three love letters and distributed them widely among his friends, and Wang Yingxia ran away in anger and stayed at the home of his friend Cao Bingzhe and his wife. Who knew that the next day, Yu Dafu published a notice in the "Ta Kung Pao" that "warned his wife to run away":
"Ms. Wang Yingxia's identification of the clutches of men and women in a chaotic world is ordinary, and the relationship between Ru and a certain jun and the removal of fine softness, clothing, cash, money, deeds, etc. are not a problem, but Ru's mother and children miss it and beg for an address."
Suddenly, public opinion about Wang Yingxia's private life was full of storms and rain. This matter made Wang Yingxia aggrieved, and later after the mediation of friends, Yu Dafu published an "apology notice" in the newspaper, and Wang Yingxia also wrote a "letter of repentance", the two people reconciled, but the emotional rift could not be repaired.
In 1938, At the invitation of Sin Chew Daily, Yu Dafu went to Singapore to run a magazine, and went with Wang Yingxia and his eldest son. As an educated new woman, Wang Yingxia has always been eager to do her own business. During this period, sin chew daily's women's column originally wanted to invite her to participate in the hosting, but Yu Dafu refused to do so, on the grounds that he did not like his wife to show her face. Repeated disputes, big and small, finally made Wang Yingxia despair about this marriage.
Until 1939, Yu Dafu published "The Chronicle of The Destruction of the Family" in the commemorative special issue of "Gale", which made wang Yingxia and Xu Shaodi's "hot love affair" known to the world, and the two finally parted ways.
Not to mention whether Yu Dafu had enough evidence to prove Wang Yingxia's infidelity, his two attempts to expose himself to embarrassment in marriage were enough to show that he did not want to live his life.
In 1940, Yu Dafu and Wang Yingxia divorced by agreement, officially ending a twelve-year married life, and the "immortal couple on the Fuchun River" was still blown apart by the "strong wind".
From the romantic heroism of "once whipping a famous horse because of drunkenness, afraid of being tired of beauty" to the ruthlessness and embarrassment of the last fig leaf of each other in the newspaper. Looking at this broken love affair, I suddenly remembered a long letter that Yu Dafu gave her during her pursuit of Wang Yingxia, and he had foreseen the possibility of the two parting ways, Yu Dafu wrote:
"First of all, our age difference is too far, and mutual emotions are certainly not going to happen. Second, my own lack of grace —the greatest hatred of my life— cannot cause you to burn inside. Third, my wings are not abundant, I do not have tens of millions of family wealth, and I do not have a reputation in the world, so I will not let you be hypnotic by me. ”
Therefore, from beginning to end, it is not yu dafu who lacks awareness of the barriers to the union of the two, but the romance in the poet's nature, which makes him insist on the short-lived enthusiasm and madness in love as faith. If you want to end the marriage between the two people in one sentence, it is: how can the melon that is twisted down be sweet?
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