"Shocked to bury the jade, the Luoshui god mourns life and death; the nest loses the phoenix, and the garden thinks of the peony pavilion."
This poem is a pair of elegies written by Mei Lanfang's secretary Xu Jichuan, and the gift is a Peking Opera performance artist. This artist is a shining pearl in the history of Peking Opera.
But pearls, there are also times when they are dusty, just like her life.
Pulling open the curtain of the stage, under the illumination of the lights, her "pearl" is so dazzling that everyone cannot look at it directly; but when the curtain slowly falls, she is buried by the "dust", and some people see her like this, and they will only taunt, not rescue.
It can be said that her life is more dramatic than drama, and cruel and tortuous.
This person was empress Dowager Jingkun, Yan Huizhu.
Figure | Words and words
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In the late autumn of 1919, Yan Huizhu was born in a courtyard near Xuanwu Gate in Beijing. Her father is Yan Jupeng, one of the "Four Great Su sheng" in Peking Opera, and her mother is Gao Yi'an, a movie star who specializes in playing an old woman.
Their parents are all artists, and the younger generations of the Yan family are naturally deeply influenced by the family from an early age. It is said that almost all the descendants of the Yan family are artists, "the eldest son Yan Shaopeng, the eldest daughter-in-law Zhang Shaolou, the second son Yan Xiaopeng, the second daughter-in-law Wang Xiaotang, the youngest daughter Yan Huilan, the son-in-law Chen Yongling, and the grandson Yan Xingpeng are engaged in many artistic professions such as Peking Opera, Kunqu Opera, Film, Drama, and Commentary."
Of course, this also includes Yan Huizhu, who is a generation of drama queens. When she heard others comment on her family, she also joked: "Counting our family alone, there are five dramas, and we see a hundred flowers blooming." ”
However, don't look at the Yan family's abundant talents, and their talents are complete, so they think that they are a big family. In fact, the Yan family is not a rich and noble person, although they have royal blood, their ancestors have been officials for generations, but in Yan Jupeng's generation, it is the decline of the family.
Because he was obsessed with Peking Opera, Yan Jupeng gave up the opportunity to become an official, chose to start from scratch, created his own "Yanjia Class", and set up his own "Yanpai Peking Opera". Yan Jupeng, who has worked hard for most of his life, finally became his own family in middle age, and the "Yan School" became a well-known famous school of Peking Opera.
However, as a daughter, Yan Huizhu is not a person of the "Yan Sect", but a descendant of the "Mei Sect".
It turned out that Yan Jupeng had established a family rule that "the girls of the Yan family are not allowed to sing opera", so Yan Huizhu could not play a bright and upright university play. But when Yan Huizhu was young, she was attracted by the charm of Peking Opera like her father.
Since her father didn't teach, she learned it herself. Every time after school, Yan Huizhu would run to the theater to watch the play, and over time, she became a small fan of "horns".
At that time, Yan Huizhu was the second miss of the Yan family, the daughter of the founder of the Yan Sect, and if the news came out that she was holding the Qingyi Danjiao outside, it would be pointed out by many people.
It just so unfortunate that the scene when Yan Huizhu was holding the horn was filmed by the local entertainment tabloid, and the big headline "Miss Yan Er is crazy" and "Miss Crazy" was added.
Just by looking at the title, you know how vulgar the content is, but Yan Huizhu doesn't care at all, what others say, that's someone else's business, it has nothing to do with her. The only thing she cared about was drama.
Since this matter was reported, Yan Jupeng no longer opposed Yan Huizhu's study of drama, after all, he knew that he could not stop it.
Therefore, after knowing that her father no longer hindered her, Yan Huizhu, who had not yet graduated from high school, chose to quit school and concentrate on learning drama, and she still studied Mei Lanfang's famous school.
However, if you want to be Mei Lanfang's direct apprentice, it is not easy. Even though Yan Huizhu was gifted and intelligent, and had more talent for learning drama than ordinary people, it was difficult to directly learn from Mei Lanfang.
But as far as Yan Huizhu is concerned, even if it is difficult to worship the teacher, he must also worship!
As the old saying goes, "The wise can understand, the shrewd can see accurately, and the wise can see far." "Yan Huizhu is a smart person, a shrewd person, and even more a clever person."
She was very clear about what she wanted to do and what kind of person she wanted to be. Therefore, no matter how difficult it is to climb the "top of the mountain" of Meipai, she must continue to climb, smooth the mountain with personal perseverance, and create a new peak by her own strength.
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When flowers bloom, they always amaze people. If you compare her to a flower, how many people will be envious when she "blooms" and takes the stage?
But as the writer Bing Xin said: "The flower of success, people only envy her current brilliance, but her buds were soaked with the tears of struggle and sprinkled with the blood rain of sacrifice." ”
Yan Huizhu is such a "flower". Many people have only seen her delicate face, such as the gentle breeze of the willow, like the walking posture of the dragon, but they have never seen the sweat on her pretty face when she took off the makeup of the butterfly dress and took off the satin costume.
Of course, no one knows the hardships she has experienced in order to learn drama from her teacher.
Before visiting the teacher, Yan Huizhu had been an "international student" at home for more than a year, that is, a "gramophone" student. She is not from a science class and lacks the knowledge of drama that she should have, so she can only learn the basics by herself first, and then worship the teacher.
However, when she graduated from the "gramophone", she never saw her father introduce herself to Mei Lanfang. Later, she learned that although her father had performed on the same stage as Mei Lanfang, it was difficult for the other party to accept her daughter as an apprentice. After all, Mei Lanfang looked at strength, not relationship.
Therefore, Yan Huizhu took the initiative to propose to her father to learn art from Xu Lanyuan, a pianist who has cooperated with Mei Lanfang for more than 20 years. When she has a certain strength, it is not too late to worship Mei Lanfang as a teacher.
But Xu Lanyuan is also a generation of masters, who wants to worship can worship? Fortunately, Yan Huizhu is not an uninteresting person, and she has long known how to deal with interpersonal relationships, and she knows that building a good relationship with the people around her master is the first element of successful worship.
Therefore, Yan Huizhu often visited Xu Lanyuan's wife, and before she could successfully worship the teacher, she had already called the other party "Master Lady". After a long time of going back and forth, Yan Huizhu got along with Xu Lanyuan's wife, and the two were as good as a mother and daughter.
The mother always feels sorry for her daughter, this is not, since the relationship between the two has become more and more intimate, Xu Lanyuan has often been nagged by the pillow people many times to teach Huizhu. In desperation, Xu Lanyuan reluctantly saw Yan Huizhu's side and said, "I will teach you two sentences of slow board in "The Wind Returns to the Nest" today. You come tomorrow and sing to me to see if you can do it. ”
For Yan Huizhu, since she has the opportunity, she will not allow herself to do it. Even if it is two songs, she has to learn to be skilled, and she is humming all the way home, even eating and sleeping, she has been humming repeatedly.
Yan Jupeng went home to take a look, and still inexplicably asked the family: "How is this child stupid?" ”
Silly is definitely not stupid, after all, she still has to keep her brain to learn Xu Lanyuan's skills.
After singing to Xu Lanyuan the next day, Yan Huizhu was praised by him as "drama material", born to sing opera material! Subsequently, in less than a year, Yan Huizhu finished learning the art of opera taught by Xu Lanyuan.
Listening to Yan Huizhu's increasingly pure and clean singing voice, Xu Lanyuan couldn't help but praise: "You have studied so well, you really want to become a little Mei Lanfang and a female Mei Lanfang!" ”
Inheriting his auspicious words, the future Yan Huizhu is indeed Mei Lanfang's most proud female disciple.
Figure | Mei Lanfang, Yan Huizhu, Mei Baoyue, Mei Baojiu
After later studying under the Peking Opera Wudan actor Zhu Guifang and Valve Lanqiu, Yan Huizhu's Peking Opera skills completely exceeded those of those who came from the class. In 1939, the 20-year-old Yan Huizhu debuted on the theatrical stage, performing "Hujiazhuang" with her father, and won a full house of color, known as
"The Living Three Ladies of the Green Lady".
The following year, she also co-starred with her father and brothers in the movie "Three Niangs And Godsons", and later filmed many films such as "Runaway Marriage" and "Red Chamber Eryou".
Finally, in 1943, Yan Huizhu, who was excellent in singing, reading, doing, and playing in all aspects, officially worshiped Mei Lanfang as a teacher. No matter whether it is windy or rainy, she will run to Mei Mansion every day and learn drama with Mei Lanfang. Even, every theatrical performance of Mei Lanfang, she will not miss, the scene will arrive, carefully "watch Mei Lanfang's every action", learn Mei Lanfang's "body, steps, water sleeves, but also from time to time with a pen to record" .
Yan Huizhu knows that she is not a mature Peking Opera performer at the moment, so she needs to study harder. She has been much luckier than many people, worshiping many celebrities as teachers, and even becoming Mei Lanfang's disciple.
If you don't work hard, how can you be worthy of their hard work to teach yourself? If you don't argue, how can you be worthy of the title of "the first disciple of Meimen"?
Figure | Yan Huizhu (right) and her female companion
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In the light, she is a household name, shining brightly. But after stepping off the stage, she is just an ordinary person, a woman who is easy to lose in the emotional world.
She once said: "For the sake of 'red', for the sake of fame and fortune, we have to endure circumvention, external forces to tempt us to be sinners in society, and we have a very cool criticism; our fellow sisters, to be sure, are mostly miserable, and are regarded by men as objects of entertainment, on the one hand, to play, on the other hand, to despise, and society as terrible figures..."
In 1945, after Yan Huizhu completed the performance of "Yang Guifei" passed down by Mei Pai, he was favored by a Kuomintang officer surnamed Liu, who often pestered Yan Huizhu.
It is said that one night, he even wanted to commit violence against Yan Huizhu. Fortunately, Yan Huizhu was astute and hurriedly fled home. But how can a dramatize an officer?
Because she could not get Yan Huizhu, Officer Liu threatened her that she would "never want to sing again in the future." When Yan Huizhu listened, she was so scared that she didn't know how to be good, she didn't want to commit herself to bad people, and she didn't want to give up singing.
The more Yan Huizhu thought about it, the more desperate she became, so she had to choose to cut herself off, leaving a desperate letter and then committing suicide. Fortunately, her family found out that something was wrong with her and saved her in time.
However, she escaped the bad guys, and on the next emotional road, she still encountered people who were not ladylike.
In this life, Yan Huizhu has been married three times, all of which ended in failure. Her first husband was a young student in the film industry at that time, Bai Yun, whose original name was Yang Weihan.
Figure | Actor Baiyun
Long before marrying Yan Huizhu, Baiyun already had a marriage, the other party was Luo Shunhua, the granddaughter of a wealthy shanghai businessman. Because Baiyun often messed with flowers and grass outside, Luo Shunhua couldn't bear to beat up Baiyun's new huan, and later went to court and lost a lot of money before reconciling.
But as soon as this matter came out, Bai Yun and Luo Shunhua could not continue to get along. As a result, Bai Yun regained his singleness and met Yan Huizhu. Like many ordinary women, Yan Huizhu was initially fascinated by Bai Yun's appearance, and then the two lived together.
It is said that dogs can't change eating, and Baiyun can't change the bad habit of stealing food. Not long after he was with Yan Huizhu, he began to squat at home, refusing to go out to shoot dramas, and only wanted to spend Yan Huizhu's money to raise women outside.
Later, he also stole Huizhu's money at home without authorization, and even sold her gold bars, diamond rings, etc. Slowly, Yan Huizhu saw the nature of this man and decided not to give the other party money again.
After Bai Yun knew, he ran to the theater where Yan Huizhu worked, snatched her diamond ring, and threatened: "Take two gold bars in exchange!" ”
In desperation, Yan Huizhu had to compromise and made a fierce heart to cut him off. But who is Baiyun? He was already relying on Yan Huizhu, how could he easily let go of this cash cow?
In order not to let Yan Huizhu abandon herself, Bai Yun threatened her with suicide. After swallowing sleeping pills, he also called Yan Huizhu's father and Mei Lanfang, telling them that he was going to die, forcing Yan Huizhu to rush to the hospital immediately after the performance.
It is reasonable to say that for such a man, the best way to deal with it is to break early and get rid of it early. However, Yan Huizhu was not decisive and still broke the connection with him.
At the end of her family and friends persuading her to marry Baiyun, she did not agree, but instead married Baiyun in Shanghai on May 13, 1946.
Figure | White clouds
Obviously, he had seen the nature of Baiyun clearly, but He Huizhu still chose false sweetness and short-lived happiness. At that time, she was really blinded by love.
After marriage, Yan Huizhu had to worry every day that Bai Yun would go out to spend the day and drink, worried that he would betray himself. In order to eliminate this worry, she even let her friend test Baiyun, and if Baiyun hooked up with her friend, then Yan Huizhu would start to be disappointed and sad.
She knew that the person she married was not a good person, but she still chose such an insecure life. But if you are suspicious of the pillow person every day, how can the marriage last?
No, in just 50 days, the two divorced.
Regarding this marriage, Yan Huizhu actually saw it very thoroughly, and she once recalled that "Bai Yun married her to see her wealth." But even if she can see through, she really loves each other.
She couldn't deny that she had been trapped in love and couldn't extricate herself.
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She is obviously a person of this era, but her thoughts are not a product of this era.
The famous opera theorist Gong Hede once said: "Yan Huizhu's life is too advanced, the times cannot keep up, history does not allow it, she has no way to live!" ”
In 1949, Yan Huizhu founded the "Yan Huizhu Theater Troupe" and recruited actors to tour. It is said that she can earn tens of thousands of yuan per performance, and even spent money to buy a small bungalow.
It was also at this time that she met her second husband, Xue Haowei, who was 8 years younger, who lived in the back building of her bungalow. Coincidentally, Xue Haowei is also an actor in the troupe who sings old students.
After the troupe met during the day and went home together at night, the two gradually fell in love and fell in love. Later, Xue Haowei also moved to Yan Huizhu's house and lived with her.
In 1955, Yan Huizhu became pregnant with Xue Haowei's child and had to marry him quickly. During pregnancy, Yan Huizhu could only recuperate at home and could not often perform on stage. It was not until after giving birth to her son, Yan Qingqing, that she could return to the stage.
Figure | Yan Huizhu, Xue Haowei and son Yan Qingqing
However, because of the change of the times, when she returned to the stage, Yan Huizhu found that everything had changed.
At that time, in response to the call of the state, all industries implemented "public-private partnerships", including drama groups, and the same was true. Therefore, celebrities from all factions have thrown themselves into state-run theater troupes and lived with "iron rice bowls".
Yan Huizhu's younger brother, Yan Xiaopeng, was a martial artist in the Beijing General Political Peking Opera Troupe, and his superiors asked him to persuade Yan Huizhu to join the National Theater Troupe. But even if the family lobbied, they could not persuade Yan Huizhu. She did not intend to follow the current, but wanted to continue to observe the situation and find an opportunity to enter the Peking Opera House in China.
But in the end, she could only obey the assignment of the Cultural Affairs Bureau and enter the Beijing Peking Opera Fourth Troupe. There, she was often bullied. Even acting, she can't rehearse freely. Either they were ostracized until they could not perform the exercise, or they were forced by their superiors to stop the performance.
Once, because the theatrical performance was canceled, Yan Huizhu was so angry that he ran to the Cultural Affairs Bureau and asked to see the leader. But she waited for two hours, and she couldn't wait for anyone to come out and answer her. At that time, it was still a snowy day, and there was no one on the street, only her, a weak woman, standing there.
After such a nest lasted for more than three months, Yan Huizhu could not bear it any longer. For her, without acting, life has no meaning.
So she chose the path of suicide again. Fortunately, after taking sleeping pills, she was finally sent to the hospital and received timely treatment. But when she woke up, Yan Huizhu was like a puppet with a broken line, expressionless, not eating or drinking, and only repeating one sentence: "I want to talk to the minister of culture." ”
But this is not possible. In that kind of atmosphere, it is not easy to see the leader.
Later, the news of Yan Huizhu's suicide was reported, and Mei Lanfang's wife Fu Zhifang, after hearing about it, immediately set out to take her back to Shanghai and taught her: "In our line, singing well is 'drama rice', and singing badly is 'gas rice'." ”
But is the reason for all this because Yan Huizhu can't sing well?
Obviously, no. It was the injustice of the times that created her misfortune. She just wanted to sing well and live a good life, but those "superiors" refused to fulfill her little wish. She was even asked not to spread the word about her experience in Beijing.
However, even if Yan Huizhu promised not to speak indiscriminately, others might not be able to spread it indiscriminately.
At that time, in response to Yan Huizhu's suicide, the world spread that it was because "she messed with the relationship between men and women in Beijing, and her life was corrupt..." In this regard, Yan Huizhu could not argue with it.
She has a mouth, but others don't necessarily have ears.
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Swept by the tide of the times, she lost herself.
After returning from Beijing, Yan Huizhu couldn't lift herself up about everything around her, except singing. Therefore, on May 1, 1956, Yan Huizhu joined the Shanghai Peking Opera House.
However, at that time, the theater was full of talents, and there were already Hua Dan who could compete with Yan Huizhu in the theater, and there were two - Li Yuru and Tong Zhiling. Under the "three-legged standing", Yan Huizhu's performance opportunities are not many, and she must cooperate with the arrangement of the theater.
Because there is only one class of soundtrack players in the theater, if the other two Hua Dan need to perform abroad, this group of people will accompany them. As for Yan Huizhu, who was "left alone", she could only perform with some unprofessional people.
However, how could Yan Huizhu, who has high requirements for drama, accept such a team? She sings drama, not the kind of song in the streets and alleys that can be passed by humming a few words at will.
But in that social atmosphere, everyone has to be honest and obedient, and if they rebel against the leadership, they will face more than just being expelled.
However, Yan Huizhu is not afraid of trouble, and the thing she hates most is to wronged herself and cater to others. Especially when it comes to theatrical performances, she will never allow others to treat theatrical performances casually.
But in the eyes of the superior leaders, since you are not afraid of trouble, they are also happy to do things.
As a result, Yan Huizhu's performance opportunities were forcibly reduced. From the time she entered the theater until May 1957, she performed only 13 plays in a full year.
Figure | Yan Huizhu and her son
Deprived of the opportunity to perform, Yan Huizhu was naturally uncomfortable in her heart, but she was also unwilling to hide her patience, and directly said to people outside: "I entered the Beijing Theater, and the drama could not be sung!" ”
In fact, it was a good thing to dare to say and dare to do, but in that era, the more you said, the more wrong you were, and the more you suffered.
No, because Yan Huizhu refused to give in, she offended many people, including the theater director Zhou Xinfang.
People are breaking into the rivers and lakes, and the fewer enemies the better, but on the contrary, Yan Huizhu does not know this principle. She didn't look down on those people in the theater, she just didn't want to lower her heights, to cooperate with the requirements of the times, to grievance herself to do what she didn't want to do.
But adults, where are there so many willing or unwilling?
What's more, in Yan Huizhu's time, let alone the issue of "willingness". Being able to survive those turbulent years is already the greatest luck.
In times of uneasiness, if others want to cooperate with themselves, then presumably, life will only have a lot of "unwilling things to do".
No, Yan Huizhu is like this, and the end of the resistance to the end is to completely lose the opportunity to perform.
But this kind of her is Yan Huizhu. She knew what the consequences of her resistance would be, but she chose not to compromise. Unfortunately, she was born in the wrong era, and in such an era, the heroic and fearless character will not be praised, but will only be pointed out by the world.
For the numb masses, Yan Huizhu is an outlier, an outlier whose thinking is inconsistent with them. Gradually, Yan Huizhu became more and more unable to withstand the evaluation of the world, and she began to doubt herself and began to feel that everything she had done before was wrong.
She once said: "I'm here, in the Peking Theater, in the corner, I have hair on my body, I'm moldy." ”
She "got moldy" and began to yearn to return to the world of theater in a "compromised" way.
She shouted at a symposium in the literary and art circles: "I want to act, let me act."
Subsequently, in the Wen Wei Po, he self-examined: "In the early days of liberation, my political understanding was not enough, and I was the most active one in the Peking Opera circle. At that time, state-run theater troupes were set up everywhere, and they all regarded me as a goal to win, because my political consciousness was not enough at that time, and I did not participate. ”
She even began to deny herself, saying:
"I know myself. Some responsibilities should be borne by myself, my faults, temper, I know to change, I want to do my job well. I hope to give me a chance to perform and give me some conditions to help me with my work....... I feel that people who were similar to me in the past are better working than I am today: I am still willing to say that I am willing to take on some of the responsibilities that I should take on, I am willing to correct, and through these, I will transform myself. ”
However, the pride in her bones will not be easily erased, and she "compromised" to the halfway point and began to refute it again:
"For more than a year, the leaders of the Peking Opera House have not once come to me to talk about the art of Peking Opera. I once gave a list of my past plays to the leader, hoping to see if there was a basis for the performance. As a result, no one cared. I don't say anything in the courtyard, because when I talk about it, I will think that it is a drama and a jealousy, making a small circle. Let me ask you, if we can't develop and can't get rational use, shouldn't we? ”
Her heartfelt remarks completely angered all the leaders of the Shanghai Peking Opera House, and even offended some upper-level leaders.
Figure | Yan Huizhu (right) with Peking Opera actress Jin Suqin
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Under the pressure of reality, she could not see the direction of progress more and more.
Just at this time, someone reached out to her, she thought that it was someone else's true feelings, but she didn't know that it was only temporary.
There is no doubt that Yan Huizhu's original words were misinterpreted by the leaders as "venting dissatisfaction", which is a manifestation of rebellion against the country. As a result, her former "old friends" began to show "fangs" and criticized her as a rightist.
At that time, the director of the Shanghai Municipal Bureau of Culture once said to her: "Comrade Yan Huizhu, your words show that you have extremely serious individualism, and you should deeply examine and win the understanding of the masses." If the confrontation continues, the contradiction may be transformed. ”
For a moment, Yan Huizhu didn't know what she was doing was the best. She obviously just expressed her own ideas, but she was misinterpreted and had to do review and reflection. But what do you want her to reflect on? Reflect on how you shouldn't have spoken? Reflect on what you shouldn't call for?
She didn't understand, she was just a singer, didn't understand politics, didn't want to understand. But because of that, she had to force herself to "listen to politics."
However, even if she doesn't force herself, her friends will force her.
At that time, her friend Xu Siyan angrily scolded her: "You don't do a review, put on a hat, how do you live your life for the time being, what should Xiao Qingqing do?" ”
Hearing her son's name, Yan Huizhu cried. She began to fear that her situation would affect Yan Qingqing's future.
Therefore, for the sake of her son, Yan Huizhu gave in, and she went to the Peking Opera House to receive criticism. Supposedly, it is not enough to review, or it will be classified as rightist. Fortunately, when Yan Huizhu changed careers to performing Kun opera before, she met some new friends and helped her.
Among them, one person is Yu Zhenfei, the principal of the Shanghai Xiqu School, who also helped Yan Huizhu a lot. The two also became more acquainted with each other because of this. Later, Yu Zhenfei also recommended Yan Huizhu to be the new principal of the Shanghai Opera School.
For everything Yu Zhenfei did, Yan Huizhu saw it in her eyes, and she was very grateful. However, in addition to gratitude, vaguely, she also developed other feelings for Yu Zhenfei.
Figure | Zhang Meijuan, Yan Huizhu, Yu Zhenfei and Li Yuru took photos at the end of the curtain after the first performance in Paris, France
In 1959, Yu Zhenfei and Yan Huizhu went to Beijing together to perform "Dream of Visiting the Garden". Since Shanghai, the two have often been inseparable. This returned to Beijing, and the two often stuck together.
Slowly, there were rumors about the two of them, and even reached Xue Haowei's ears. But at that time, Xue Haowei did not credulously believe the rumors, he believed that Yan Huizhu would not violate morality and ethics, let alone be with an old man who was 17 years older than himself.
But that's just what he thinks. In fact, anything is possible.
Once, when Xue Haowei returned home, he found more than 20 love letters hidden at the head of Yan Huizhu's bed, and they were all written by Yu Zhenfei. Xue Haowei read each letter, and after reading it, he was so angry that he went directly to the Cultural Affairs Bureau to complain about Yu Zhenfei.
He thought it was Yu Zhenfei's wishful thinking. As everyone knows, this is your love and my wishes.
In Yan Huizhu's heart, when she married Xue Haowei, she only looked at the children. Now that she has met someone she really likes, she naturally won't let go of it at will.
So, in 1960, Yan Huizhu and Xue Haowei divorced, and married Yu Zhenfei two months later.
Figure | Yu Zhenfei, Yan Huizhu
Before marriage, Yu Zhenfei once asked her: "Are our personalities compatible?" You are better than strong, I am indifferent and quiet, one soft and one hard, I am afraid I can't pinch it together! ”
Yan Huizhu replied: "One is soft and one is hard, just learn from each other's strengths and complement each other's weaknesses, and get along harmoniously." If both of them are hard, they must be noisy, both are soft, sticky, and not interesting. ”
But in fact, according to Xu Siyan's recollection, the relationship between the two of them was not good after marriage, and they often quarreled.
Even, during the ten years of turmoil, Yu Zhenfei had disregarded Yan Huizhu's life and death.
At that time, Yan Huizhu went to Xu Siyan for help: "What should I do?" When I saw people wearing high hats roaming the streets, I was trembling, and I couldn't stand it anyway..."
In fact, she is not the only one who can't stand it, it's everyone who can't stand it. But everyone has no way, this is the whirlpool of the times, each of them, can not escape.
Perhaps, some people know how to observe the color of speech and will humbly ask for forgiveness when criticized. Or maybe, some people are usually popular, and when they encounter things, they can get help from all walks of life, so that they can be less guilty.
Yu Zhenfei is the latter, but Huizhu is said to be neither. She has always been a bold person, daring to be bold, and it is naturally easy to offend people. Every time she was punished for cleaning the toilet, Yu Zhenfei could get help from others, and she could only continue to work silently.
Because no one will help her, not even Yu Zhenfei, when she is in difficulty protecting herself, she will not help her. Although Yan Huizhu attempted suicide, he did not stop it, but said indifferently: "I will not die, I will die, you will die!" ”
I don't know how uncomfortable it will be in my heart when I listen to this sentence. Does she feel like she's wrong? Will you regret and divorce Xue Haowei?
The answer is unknown.
On September 11, 1966, Yan Huizhu hanged herself at the age of 47.
This time, no one came to her rescue. Despite this, she gave many people the signal that they were going to commit suicide themselves.
Before committing suicide, she once said to her daughter Mimi: "A person wants feelings and money; feelings will change, there is no money, and there is money this thread pulled, and you can live in this world." ”
Subsequently, he said to Yan Qingqing: "Qingqing, good son, my mother is going to a very far place, and after my mother leaves, you must listen to your good father (Yu Zhenfei)'s words..."
Finally, she also knelt in front of Yu Zhenfei with Yan Qingqing and pleaded: "The child has been handed over to you, and you will raise him as an adult." ”
To this, Yu Zhenfei replied: "I have rice to eat, he also has food to eat; I have porridge to eat, he also has porridge to eat." ”
After getting this answer, Yan Huizhu went back to her room and wrote 5 suicide notes, which were left to Yu Zhenfei, her son, the school, her daughter Mimi, and the movie star Feng Zhe.
Among them, in the suicide note to Feng Zhe, Yan Huizhu still wrote, "I want Feng Zhe to care more about her son Yan Qingqing behind her."
In the end, she couldn't let go of her son. But even if she couldn't put it down, she couldn't continue to survive in such a world, she was tired and just wanted to be relieved quickly.
In this life, she has lived too hard.
If she could have been immersed in drama, maybe she wouldn't have come to the end so quickly. But she can't, she can only face a real life that is more cruel than drama.
However, the powder ink life makeup is tearful, and the years have never defeated the beauty. Despite the changes of the times, she is still a dazzling pearl in the long river of history.
Text | A thousand picks