Wang Tongguang is a member of the Provincial and Municipal Writers Association, a member of the Provincial Prose Literature Society, and a director of the Single County Writers Association. Five collections of essays, including "Beauty and Longevity", have been published.
Indulgence
Text/Wang Tongguang
On a hot day, I was taking a nap when I suddenly felt that my body was sinking violently, as if something was pressing on my body, and I woke up. At first glance, my wife was standing by the bed, tucking the corner of the quilt under me. That day, the second son was on duty at my house to take care of his mother, and after falling asleep on the sofa, he suddenly woke up, and a bead of sweat flowed down, also because her mother covered the quilt. One night, I was in a dream, and my wife woke me up, put her mouth on my ear and whispered to me, "You hurry up, the gluten soup is about to finish them!" "I woke up and thought, it's the middle of the night, what soup to drink!" We led my wife to play in the park, she greeted people when she saw them, whether they knew or didn't know, whether they were men and women, young and old, especially children, when they saw them, they didn't ask people to go, and they praised people for being really good and really handsome. The idea is to tell people to stop playing for her. Some were greeted by her fiercely, and some stared at them with surprised eyes and quickly left. When he saw the child riding a toy car, he said, "Slow down, be obedient, don't fall!" My mother has been ill for more than ten years, and sometimes she suddenly asks, "Where did my mother sleep?" Cover the quilt without? ”
The above verbal actions, as soon as you listen to it, you know that it must be a mentally abnormal person who has done something. Yes, this is the abnormal words and deeds of an old man with Alzheimer's disease. It was her wrong love for me, for my children, for others. How to cover people with quilts on hot days? Why do people who don't know greet people? Yes, it's all his fault. But you noticed that his words and deeds were out of love for his family and his neighbors. Although it is a wrong love, it expresses her love, her kindness. When his wife is not sick, he is a kind and loving person, and no matter what difficulties others have, he tries his best to help. She took care of the deeds of Aunt Li, a neighbor of Wubao households, and for many years praised her in her village and neighboring villages, and was published in municipal newspapers. She was sick, did not know anyone, did not even know her children, and often called her daughter "sister", but her heart of loving her relatives and others has not changed. Mistakes can be made by anyone, and normal people are inevitable, let alone sick people? And these mistakes, all of which have the support of love, are even more blameless.
She often hid her personal things at home and with me, and I bought vegetables and supplies and put them in the house to do other errands, and in the blink of an eye, the things were gone. Bought watermelon and fruit, ate it once, and couldn't find it. By the time I remembered to eat it again, it was rotten under the bed. The remote control of the TV suddenly disappeared, and she hid it, so she had to not watch TV for a few days. When you look around for a place to put a new remote control, she put the old one in the living room. My tickling could not be more important to me, helping me tickle, helping me lift my shoes, giving me a massage and treatment, and if I accidentally didn't put it away, she hid it and couldn't find it anywhere. In order to deal with her hiding, the second daughter bought 6 at once, and put them on the bedside, next to the dining table, watching TV, and on the computer table, and she couldn't hide it. I sometimes lose my temper when I don't understand her hiding things, but when I think she's a patient, I can't get angry. Now I think I'm wrong to blame her. She acts out of love. She felt that these things were very useful to us, we had to keep them safe, they couldn't be lost, how could they eat when they were lost? How to watch TV? How to tickle? Just find a place she thinks is safe to put away, where will you think that you are in a hurry? Sometimes she does something wrong, I get angry, I say urgent words to her, lose my temper, this is an unfair act to her, because she is out of love, just wrong love, misunderstood, she will definitely be wronged, but will not express it. If we treat others with love and are reprimanded or complained, we will be angry too. Normal people have qi and can still express, a patient, angry and will not express resentment, what is the taste in the heart? Hopefully, she won't feel angry, and there's no imbalance in her heart.
In addition, her active behavior is that she often moves things around. She was excited almost every other day, and when she got excited, she would move things for more than half a day. Swapping places for the things that were being placed in an orderly manner, pulling out the wine in the wine box one by one and putting them on the ground to line up; putting the bedding on the table, putting the dishes on the bed, and covering them tightly with a quilt; the shoes of both of us moved everywhere, and we often couldn't find another one when we hurried to change shoes, and a bunch of shoes couldn't find a match; the things on my desk were often lost on long legs, the glasses were missing, the book I was using slipped away, the pen was lost, and it was all a single city - a common thing (Changshi). I think that these actions of hers are also out of love, just wrong love. You have something to do, watch TV, play mobile phones, use computers, she will not, you have to do something, you have to move things, sorry, she moved the wrong one, you help her move back on the line!
Wrong love sees the truth. Although the wife's behavior is not satisfactory, she is kind in heart, out of kindness, and has done the wrong thing, we should understand her in this way, so that we will not be angry with her, so that we will not wrongfully do wrong things to a kind person. Normal people sometimes do wrong things, let alone a patient with cerebellar atrophy and unable to speak and act normally? But in this understanding, my family and I are also gradually acquired in a daily life that is not too short, it can be seen that people's understanding of people is to have a process, between relatives and relatives, between normal people and patients, between normal people, it is even more difficult, why some people say "long live understanding", this is the truth.
August 30, 2021
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