What is it like to love each other but not be able to stay together?
Jiang Fu knows the taste best.
On the Lantern Festival in 1197, the 43-year-old Jiang Kui closed the door, and he went to bed early to rest, and had a dream, in which he arrived in Hefei, where he first met his beloved woman.
After waking up from the dream, Jiang Fu had mixed feelings and wrote a poem "Partridge Day, New Year's Eve Has a Dream", two of which were touching, and those who read it all shed tears.
"Partridge Day: New Year's Eve Dreams"
The endless period of fertile water flowing east. It was not suitable for acacia at the beginning.
In the dream, he did not see Dan Qing, and in the dark he suddenly startled the mountain birds to cry.
Spring is not green, sideburns first silk. Don't be sad for a long time.
Who taught the years of the Red Lotus Night, the two places of chanting are known to each other.
In the dream of the Lantern Night, Jiang Fu returned to the fat water.
Fertilizer water: that is, water. It originates from the Zipeng Mountain in Hefei, Anhui Province, flows southeast through The General Ridge, and reaches Shikou to enter Chao Lake.
It was here more than twenty years ago that he met the man who had left him with a lifetime of memories.
At that time, Jiang Kui was only in his 20s, and he was a young man, but he had already tasted the hardships of life.
When he was a teenager, his father died, he relied on his sister to live, and his career was not smooth, and he went to Yangzhou and Jianghuai.
In Hefei, he met a pair of sisters, they are singers, the sister is good at playing the pipa, and the younger sister is good at playing the kite.
Two versatile and understanding women accompanied Jiang Fu to swim in Chao Lake and climb the Mountain, and often rafted around the city river, playing and singing Jiang Fu's lyrics.
This made Jiang Fu, who loves music and filler words, feel relaxed, because this pair of confidant sisters, Jiang Kui has been to Hefei three times and has been lingering for a long time.
He fell in love with his sister who played the pipa, and he promised to marry her.
But at that time, Jiang Kui was useless and nameless, a schoolboy wandering and wandering, his own life was not settled, and he was unable to restore freedom for his lover.
The saddest thing in life is to meet the person who wants to take care of his life when he has nothing.
If you can't stay together, you can only miss each other forever.
In the autumn of The second year of Shao Xi, the sisters left Hefei, and Jiang Fu wrote "Autumn Evening Yin": Where is Wei Niang, Song Yu returns, and the two places are secretly haunted. Shake the river maple early, tender about no evidence, ghostly dreams.
I'm back, where are you? For their departure, Jiang Fu showed infinite sadness and attachment.
Time is the best proof of love, and after saying goodbye to the Hefei sisters, thoughts took root in Jiang Fu's heart.
This year, Jiang Fu was 43 years old, and his first encounter with the Hefei sisters had passed more than twenty years, but on this Lantern Night that belonged to his lover, he still couldn't help but think of them.
Outside the flower lights are brilliant, pedestrians are bustling, but Jiang Fu is not in the mood to enjoy, he does not go out behind closed doors, he went to bed early, but until the third day, he did not fall asleep, the neighbors returned to talk and laugh, making him more worried.
Finally, he fell asleep, and in the dream, he once again saw his haunting lover.
After waking up, Jiang Kui wrote this poem "Partridge Day, New Year's Eve Has a Dream", "Spring is not green, sideburns are silky." Don't be sad for a long time. One sentence really exhausted the pain of parting in the world.
The meeting in the dream is not as clear as the portrait, but even so, it is still precious.
We are separated for too long, and slowly all the pain will gradually be forgotten by time. But I don't know who it is, the Lantern Night of the year, let me think about it, this feeling, only you and I understand in our hearts.
"Who teaches the years of the red lotus night, the two places of deep groaning know each other" like Li Qingzhao's "a kind of lovesickness, two places of idleness", but Li Qingzhao is much luckier than Jiang Kui.
Zhao Mingcheng and Li Qingzhao have long been married, and traces of the two can also be found.
But for Jiang Kui, who has been separated from his lover for many years, has long since heard nothing, even if he has lovesickness, where to send it?
Some people say that time is a good medicine to heal pain, but for Jiang Kui, time just makes the thoughts more intense.
In his lifetime, Jiang Kui left more than eighty poems, of which more than 20 were nostalgic for this hefei past. A quarter of the space is recorded in Jiang Kui's endless thoughts, perhaps for a lifetime.
Time is gentle, gently soothing the pain and sorrow of thoughts, time is cruel, cruelly allowing you to take the deepest feelings that have ever been, the people who once thought this life is unforgettable, slowly fade away, slowly numb.
What haunted Jiang Fu's heart was not only the thoughts, but also the guilt of the lovers and the deep sorrow for the fall of life.