After the parents divorce, each can re-establish a new family, and the children are redundant no matter which family they are in.
Inadvertently brushed up on the movie "More Than One Woman", although it was a film many years ago, it is still touching for the topics in the play. Son preference, parents divorced, children become redundant, these heavy words in the film are magnified in front of the audience, whether it is the past nineties, or the present, are worthy of parental reflection.
Marriage is the destination of love, children are the crystallization of parental love, but once parents divorce, children become the most unfortunate of misfortunes. Both parents can form a new family and even have their own children, but for the child, no matter which family is superfluous, it is impossible to have a complete home.
Regarding marriage, I especially agree with What Yang Lan said, she integrates marriage, children, husband and wife, and parents into it, which is what I think is the best answer to marriage.
The bond of marriage, not children, not money, but about the common growth of the spirit, in the most helpless and weak time, there is he (she) to hold up your chin, straighten your backbone, make you strong, and accompany you around, share the fate, at that time, in addition to love, there is also the righteousness of the liver and gallbladder, the tacit understanding of not abandoning, the growth of common nurturing, and the unforgettable kindness. ——Yang Lan
Marriage is not only a romantic and beautiful love between husband and wife, but also a friendship that cares with each other, an unforgettable kindness, and the affection of raising children, all of which will only make the marriage more indestructible and invincible.
In the film, the cute and sensible Autumn Autumn, the 6-year-old girl said: I am superfluous everywhere. This sentence is heart-wrenching and heart-wrenching, and it also allows us to see the harm that divorce brings to children.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" >, mother who has formed a new family: the mother's concern and acceptance of Qiu Qiu makes her husband Guan Zhengguang angry, and under guan Zhengguang's obstruction, the mother has a weak heart</h1>
At the beginning of the film, 6-year-old Qiu Qiu lives with her father, although she often spits sour water because of eating bread, and often stays up late with her father in the projection factory, but Qiu Qiu is happy and satisfied in her heart. Qiu Qiu missed his mother too much, and his father Ah Man took Qiu Qiu to find his ex-wife. The ex-wife saw her husband Guan Zhengguang go to a foreign country, so she stayed at Qiuqiu's house for the night.
The mother was particularly happy about the arrival of Autumn and Autumn, and gave her delicious food to eat, and even took coffee for her to drink. At night, Guan Zhengguang rushed back early and was very unhappy to see Qiu Qiu at home. At night, he wants to make love to his wife, but is hindered by the insomnia qiuqiu, and Guan Zhengguang has since deepened his prejudice against qiuqiu, thinking that she has come to destroy his happy life, and he does not allow his wife to associate with qiuqiu again.
Once, Qiu Qiu was sick with a fever, and the teacher ran into Qiu Qiu's mother on the street with her back, and the mother was worried about her daughter's illness and carried her home. Guan Zhengguang came back and saw Qiu Qiu lying on the bed, and his heart was very unhappy, so he locked his wife in the room and drove away the sick Qiu Qiu.
Seeing this, in addition to the distressed 6-year-old Qiu Qiu, we should blame the remarried Qiu Qiu mother, or the indifferent and selfish Guan Zhengguang. After the parents divorce, where does the child go, and how can the harm to the child be minimized?
(1) Parents should communicate more with their children, explain that the reason for the divorce of both parties has nothing to do with the children, and do not make the children feel insecure
Parents should communicate more with their children to explain the reasons why both parties can no longer live together and divorce, so as not to cause the child to think that he has caused the divorce of his parents and produce insecurity.
When parents divorce, children will more or less be uneasy, afraid that their parents will not want her, afraid that their parents will dislike themselves, and afraid that their parents will quarrel because of themselves. Parents must remember to argue fiercely in front of their children when they are fighting for their children. Both parties should communicate with the child calmly, respect the child's ideas, listen to who the child is willing to follow, and also consider who the child is more conducive to the child's growth.
The child follows the father, whether the father has enough time and energy and patience to take care of the child. The child follows the mother, and whether the mother can spend time on the child and love the child. Both parents should think more from the perspective of the child, rather than fighting for the child in order to win or lose.
(2) When parents divorce and then form a family, the time for children to spend with their parents should be reasonably arranged
Parents who start a family after divorce should discuss with their lovers that the children will come to get along with them regularly. Respect the time the child spends with the parents, and also respect the lover who re-forms the family, do not hide from the other party, and do not let the other party think that the child will destroy the re-formed family.
If the child is raised by the father, then the child can spend a few days with the mother a month, and can fix a time, so that the child can get the opportunity to get along with the parents, and the inner gap will be alleviated and the peace of mind will be much more at ease.
In the film, Qiu Qiu's mother did not consult with her lover, and secretly took Qiu Qiu to the family with her lover, so that her lover Guan Zhengguang felt that Qiu Qiu had come to destroy the family, and would drive Qiu Qiu away several times to save her family.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" > second, the father of the object: although the father also loves Qiu Qiu, but in order to further develop with the object, he lied that he had no children</h1>
Father took Qiu Qiu to live and work, the unit manager Zhong looked in the eyes, in order to let Qiu Qiu have a complete home, Manager Zhong introduced Yang Chunniang to Ah Man, and the two were in the object. The objects introduced to Ah Man before were all blown because they suspected that Ah Man had a child, and Yang Chunniang also made it clear that it was fortunate that Ah Man did not have children, otherwise he would not continue to talk with him.
Manager Zhong asked Ah Man to hide from Yang Chunniang first, and then tell the other party after the two were emotionally stable. Ah Man agreed to this proposal, and in front of Yang Chunniang, he did not recognize Qiu Qiu as his daughter, and Manager Zhong lied that Qiu Qiu was his daughter in order to let the two continue to develop.
Qiu Qiu was driven out by Guan Zhengguang at her mother's house and came to her father's house, but outside the door, she overheard Yang Chunniang saying to her father Ah Man: "I was really worried that you had children, but later Manager Zhong proved that you really did not, and I was relieved." Qiu Qiu was very sad after hearing this, she held the rag doll and hid in an unobtrusive corner, she was so sleepy when she was sick, she fell asleep in the corner.
A 6-year-old sick little girl, went to her mother's house, was driven away by Guan Zhengguang, came to her father's house, and heard the words of her father's object, how sad she should be, so she was kicked around like a leather ball by her parents, and her parents pushed her away for their own happiness, and where could she go.
In response to the behavior of his father Aman, in fact, he did not have to lie to the other party, because the child is real, the lie is a lie after all, and there will be a day when it will be exposed.
First of all, Aman should confess to his subject that he has children.
If the other party does not want to continue to develop because of the child, it is not possible, lying and cheating is not feasible, cheating for a while, not cheating for a lifetime. It is unfair to the child not to recognize the existence of the child for the sake of one's own happiness.
Since she decided to raise her child, she must be responsible for her, so that she can have a home to return to, food to eat, clothes to wear, and cannot let her body, mind and soul be wandering.
Secondly, Aman should be prepared to live with his daughter.
If no one can accept the fact that he has children, then Aman should be prepared to live with his daughter. Qiu Qiu, who originally lacked maternal love, should no longer lack father's love, not to mention that Qiu Qiu was still so young, she should not bear the misfortune of her parents' divorce.
Finally, Ah Man should communicate with Qiu Qiu and explain what he is dealing with.
Although Qiu Qiu in the film is only 6 years old, she knows a lot. Ah Man should confess to Qiu Qiu about his dealings with the object, instead of hiding it from her. The sooner you tell the child, the more the child will have a process of acceptance, and it is disrespectful to the child to keep it hidden.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" > third, patriarchal grandmother: Grandma prefers sons to daughters, and autumn and autumn do not feel love and warmth, and will quietly run back to the city</h1>
In order to have a better development of Ah Man and Yang Chunniang's affairs, without hindrance, Ah Man entrusted Qiu Qiu to Manager Zhong and asked Manager Zhong to take Qiu Qiu to his grandmother's house in the countryside. Grandma's children are a big push, Grandma is more patriarchal, Qiu Qiu can't feel love, and is bullied by those children in Grandma's family.
The deepest impression in the film is that the baby girl in the grandmother's family cries in the middle of the night, Qiu Qiu told the grandmother that the child is crying, but the grandmother said that she is extra, let her cry, don't care. Qiu Qiu felt that she was also extra, and she sneaked out in the middle of the night and wanted to go back to the city to find her parents.
Along the way, she starved, fortunately returned to the city with the help of the big uncle and the police uncle, she came to her father's house, the father took her home, Yang Chunniang found out that Qiu Qiu was Ah Man's child, crying and crying to cut off Aman, Ah Man was busy coaxing Yang Chunniang, Qiu Qiu silently walked out of her father's house. She went downstairs to her mother's house again, she was too hungry, but she listened to Guan Zhengguang's ruthless answer: "There is no mother here." ”
She felt more and more that she was superfluous, whether she went to her mother's house, her father's house, or her grandmother's house, she was superfluous, and she ran away from home again. Cold and hungry, she fell asleep at the door of a house, woke up to find an abandoned baby, she held the abandoned baby, the people around her asked her to give the child to him, Qiu Qiu refused, she gave the child to the police uncle, she was favored by the police uncle, she believed that the police uncle was a good person.
Patriarchal preference: refers to the feudal idea of valuing men and despising women. From Lin Hai Xueyuan XX: Speaking of Bai Ru's pouting with pleasure, what a yellow haired, the idea of preferring sons to daughters. ”
Patriarchal preference is a concept of inequality between men and women in society, valuing men's rights and interests while characterizing women as male appendages and restricting their opportunities and personal freedom to develop their personal talents. This perception is common in patriarchal societies, often accompanied by the concept of male superiority and female inferiority and gender division of labor. The idea of son preference also affects parents' willingness to have boys and girls.
Qiu Qiu did not return for a night, Ah Man, Qiu Qiu's mother, Guan Zhengguang, Manager Zhong, and the big uncle who had helped Qiu Qiu all went to find Qiu Qiu. Finally found Qiu Qiu in the zoo, Qiu Qiu accidentally walked into the rockery of Guan Hu to play, the father saw it and jumped down to save his daughter, Manager Zhong and the big uncle also jumped down, and finally rescued the daughter. Guan Zhengguang accidentally fell, and the tiger sniffed him and walked away. The keeper explained to the crowd of onlookers: "People without humanity, tigers do not eat." ”
This satire of Guan Zhengguang can be described as enjoyable. In the end, Qiu Qiu was taken home by her father Ah Man, Yang Chunniang made a table of dishes, she accepted Qiu Qiu, and also overcame the prejudices of the world and became Qiu Qiu's stepmother.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > concluding remarks:</h1>
The film presents the topic of son preference, parents divorcing, and where the children go from here in a soothing way, triggering the audience's thinking. Qiu Qiu in the film became the most unfortunate of the misfortunes, but fortunately, she finally gained the love of her father and stepmother.