Why do couples or lovers who were originally in love often resentful and disgusted? Or even a fratricidal confrontation or a tragic end? To paraphrase the popular phrase "Don't say you love me without moving!" Do you really know how to "love"? Or is it the mistake of false love for true love? Why is the other person often loved so much by you? False love and wrong love often lead to pain, and only true love can bring joy and happiness! Do you want to learn more about what true love is?
What is "wrong love"?
What are the phenomena that are usually prone to "wrong love"?" There is an obvious difference between "false love" and "wrong love", "false love" has obvious bad motives and bad intentions, while "wrong love" has no obvious bad motives and bad intentions, and even the starting point of many "wrong love" comes completely from good intentions and compassion.
Why does love that comes from compassion, kindness and kindness form a kind of "wrong love"? Mainly due to the lack of wisdom and a strong desire to dominate, the most obvious result of "false love" is that it causes pain to each other or one side.
Because "wrong love" is not easy to perceive, we are likely to make "wrong love" every day, but you don't know, an important test is: if you feel that you are very sincere, very sincere in love, sincere for each other's good, but why the other party does not appreciate? Why do the other party have so many painful faces? Or are you feeling pain, frustration, and frustration while you're good for the other person? That is to say, as long as there is pain on each other's side, it is worth our calm and analysis, what is wrong? There's "false love" hidden in it, it's just that you don't know it.
There are good and evil in the "love" of ordinary people, there are right and wrong, there are many situations that make you suffer, and the other party is also very painful for you to love. Because many of our behaviors are often in unclear situations, we do it with self-awareness, and we do not respect the needs of the other party.
What are the forms of "wrong love" between husband and wife?
Now dissect the "wrong love" between men and women, husband and wife. Many people will say to their other half: "Husband! I love you to death" or "Wife you're so nice!" I really love you to death!" A few years later, the original death-loving, charming conversation changed: "Please, let me breathe, I'm suffocating!" I'm about to be loved by you!" Why? What are the "wrong loves" that are easy to make between men and women and couples? Some people think that the practice does not talk about marriage or the relationship between men and women, but it is still the same, many of them are just different in appearance, but the essence is the same.
The first is to treat love as a trade, how much I give and how much I want the other person to give back. The wife loves mr. very much, but she also expects him to love her and treat her in the same, equal amount, and this kind of love as a kind of transaction, as much as I give, I want to get as much, this is a wrong concept.
The second is a very good saying: "Do what you want to others, and share good things with good friends." I listened to Master XX's teachings so well that I hoped that others would also hear it, so I enthusiastically asked others to share what I thought was very good, and instead of sharing it, I accepted it completely. You have a very strong force behind your back to accept the other party, it will cause a big problem, "what you want to do to others" is good, I am very kind, very kind, but there is a strong force behind the other party to accept, this is the second kind of wrong love.
The third is that there is a strong desire to grasp, control, and dominate in love, and "love" contains a lot of bondage and entanglement, which is what Buddhism says: sentient beings are entangled in the sea of suffering. The main force of this "entanglement" is the kind of grasping, control, and domination that the wrong love shows, not only men, but also women, you love your husband very much, you love each other very much, but behind it is your grasping and domination.
What is "true love"?
Key Element One: Trust How much do you trust your partner? Love and trust are closely linked and take time to strengthen. Without trust, you can't fully open your heart to the other person.
Key Element Two: Intimacy If a couple hastily invests in relationships and has sex before love and trust can be established, there is no solid foundation to address the doubts and fears that arise in the process of falling in love.
Key Element Three: Negative Emotions Fear of the future and feelings of anger, sadness, and remorse are generally not related to our partners, but to some of the pains we have not healed in the past.
Key Element Four: Understanding and Accepting Each Other's Differences The secret to falling in love and being able to stay together is to accept and enjoy each other's differences. If you can appreciate the differences in each other's needs and complement each other, you can achieve a lifetime of happiness.
True love is called "true". Because sincerity and authenticity are its most basic foundations. It is by no means based on deception and illusion. True love, maybe everyone has their own opinion. True love, has nothing to do with gender, has nothing to do with the nation, true love exists in the true love of both sides of the love. True love is long-lasting. (As long as you can live, you can hold on, this is true love.) )
Usually, true love doesn't have to be the first, but it's likely to be the one that accompanies you into old age. True love is more than just saying "I love you" when impulsive. Even more rational thinking, after more than seven years of getting along, you can still say, "I love you." -- The wise teach people to be discerning and then tolerant, and the fool only teaches people to tolerate and not to teach people to discern.
True love is to have firm perseverance to keep this feeling, despite external obstacles, and still hold an unchanging heart.
In the sudden and cruel test of reality, you can adhere to your faith and smoothly survive the inner disputes, the struggle of thought, and still persist in not being convinced and unmoved. Whether it is his flaws, his faults, his deficiencies, or his bad habits, the crowd is a rumor with a thousand mouths, and there is no turmoil in the heart. Gossip, opposition from loved ones, or obstruction, you are still willing to instill this true feeling in him and pay for him, because you love him.
If you leave because of defects, leave because of faults, dislike because of inadequacies, and do not tolerate bad habits, if you find that when you see these negative factors that meet him, if the love you give eventually collapses and falls, it can only show that you are not love enough, not pure enough, not true enough! What to do is to put down the shelf, let go of prejudice, let go of baggage, let go of temper, let go... When you learn to give your true heart for a long time, you will find that true love for a person is so simple, because you can always bear to accept and carry all his negative things, including all your admiration for his beauty.
A sentence "treat him well", in the face of "blows" erosion of your love of self-confidence, whether he also gives you love, you do not retaliate, do not hurt, do not feel angry, do not regret your efforts, then this proves your ability to love. Thus you will feel the spiritual enrichment brought about by true love for a person, and experience an emotion of "love" of truth, goodness and beauty. So to face his "bad" well, your attitude and your feelings and your reactions all determine whether you really love this person.
The latest saying: True love is two people with self-esteem and self-love, a strong desire and enjoyment of the happiness of being with each other, and at all costs to maintain the perpetuation of this happiness.