Author 丨 Window sill
What is marriage?
Baidu Encyclopedia gives the following explanation: marriage is a legal union or contract formed by two people living together.
In its form, marriage is a combination of wealth, psychology and physiology; in essence, it is a specific social covenant between the two parties. Since the emergence of human society, the main means of normalizing the integration of the two sides have been customs, ethics and laws.
So, once two people get married, it means that they have to follow some rules, give up some things, and of course, at the same time, they can definitely get something.
The quality of a marriage is inseparable from the joint management of two people. In an intimate relationship, where only one person is working hard, no matter how much effort this person pays, the marriage relationship can only be like walking on thin ice. At any time, it can only be a two-way approach and mutual understanding to make a relationship more meaningful.
So, marriage is not a one-person affair.
In marriage, the most important point is the sense of responsibility and awe of each other. Only by truly having a reverence and protection for the relationship between two people from the bottom of their hearts can we fundamentally avoid all mistakes. Many people, when leading to the breakdown of a relationship, are not actually unaware of the consequences that their words and deeds may bring, but just hold the psychology of luck, thinking that they are not discovered.
At the end of the day, everyone encounters new challenges in life, and marriage is no exception. In this life, the possibility of true love for a person is actually very small, people's instinct is to see different thoughts, and marriage just suppresses these emotions to a certain extent.
Therefore, people who can always maintain themselves are really precious. Because there are many people, it is in the process of moving forward, gradually losing their original selves.
Imagine who, when getting married, did not enter a relationship with good wishes and expectations, thinking that two people could grow old with their heads in vain, but the subsequent changes were also really happening. Whether it is a man or a woman, if you meet an unreliable other half, it is a disaster that will affect all your subsequent happiness, so some people say that if you choose the other half, the heart and character are particularly important.
However, people really change, you yourself will change, and many times the transformation of white roses and red roses is only overnight. The future direction of two people is not a fixed value, people who were originally full of confidence may be deceived and hurt in the end, and some practitioners who hold a dispensable attitude before marriage may also love each other deeply in the back. Some people, in front of the sea oath mountain alliance, love to death to live, and finally only a few months, but found that the two people are not suitable, and ended up in disgrace.
Whether it is life or marriage, it is impossible to avoid the ever-changing laws of nature. Therefore, many times in the face of the world's unbearable, you have to look a little open, this is the original way of life, not only is there good, but also bad, rational view, do not a leaf obstacle just fine.
Of course, there is also the most important point, do not lose your heart.
Some time ago, I chatted with a 33-year-old sister who has been divorced for almost half a year. When it comes to her marriage, she is very calm, and she does not have any complaints and irritations in the face of betraying her ex-husband, and she also has a light attitude when she speaks.
She said: "It's tiring to hate a person, and the opposite of hate can't be blank, so I don't want to hate, man, I always have to look forward." ”
Her view of love has changed dramatically because of this marriage. Before their divorce, the sister had vowed to say, "In this world, no matter who betrays the marriage, I don't believe my husband will do it." "She and her husband met in high school, fell in love in college, married two years after graduation, and had a daughter the following year, and the direction of life has been smooth. Her husband, whether in front of her or in front of relatives and friends, has always maintained a very good personality.
She had thought that after all these years of getting along, they all knew each other well enough. She thought he was a very responsible person, measured in his heart, knew what to do and what not to do, so she never doubted him, but gave him enough trust. But that trust ultimately defeated her self-righteous love.
In her heart, this feeling is too beautiful, so it can't tolerate any flaws. After the divorce, her mentality also changed from complaining at the beginning to becoming indifferent later, and now she has put all her eyes on herself, unwilling to dwell on the past disturbances.
Before this, she had only talked about her husband's relationship, which is why her view of marriage was so pure and beautiful. She originally thought that this should be what all marriages look like, to hold on, to be loyal to each other, to do something and not to do anything, if not, it is better to end the relationship completely. This concept of black and white is like her own personality, daring to love and dare to hate, knowing that there are tigers in the mountains that are biased towards the tiger mountain.
But, now she says, "After the divorce, I really saw the dark side of marriage." At this time, she found that many people's marriages are actually pathological, pretending and paying attention, seeking perfection in weighing the pros and cons, smiling in front of reality and interests, not loving can also pretend to be affectionate, and the people who love can also give up fiercely. Although he is a pillow person, he knows the face and does not know the heart.
In the past, when she was married and occasionally posted her children and husband in the circle of friends, the people who appeared around her seemed to be similar.
However, when she divorced, she suddenly found that many men's morality was so low, the three views were so distorted, and the relationship between men and women was so chaotic. Because when she contacted some men as a divorce, whether at work or in life, there were many more men who were attentive to her than before, and if she refused to be blunt and obvious, the other party would be further ambiguous.
And most of these people are married men.
There is even a person who seems to have set up an excellent personality, WeChat's avatar is a wife and children, including some other social software, and the circle of friends often posts some trivial daily life about the family. If he hadn't often taken the initiative to say something that she didn't have, and knew him as a friend, she would definitely think it was a good man.
At this time, she remembered her former feelings and couldn't help but think: Is he always pretending?
There is no answer.
She was suddenly particularly disappointed, feeling sorry for the seemingly strong and beautiful feelings of the two people, but in fact the inner unbearable and fragile feelings. She thought, how many marriages like this are there in this world?
The word love is always placed at an absolute height by some people, believing that love can calm the mountains and the sea, can break through all the difficulties in front of them, but they do not know that this is just the wishful thinking of emotional people. Love is not so great, and love, which is unique in the eyes of some, falls on others, ordinary, never special, and can even be exploited.
Therefore, no matter how much you love someone, you have no scruples and give it to you, after all, what you are afraid of is just in case. Until all the dust has really settled, no one dares to really guarantee humanity. Sometimes, the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment.
-END-
Talk and intercede with everyone who comes here, but it has nothing to do with the wind and moon. Click above to follow and welcome to Minecraft.