Years ago, I saw an Oscar-winning movie called "A Beautiful Mind." It's still unforgettable. After experiencing the vicissitudes of the world, every time I think of the hero's life of struggling with fantasy, I am encouraged and feel very sad at the same time. Because I have also been on the verge of fantasy, unable to distinguish between reality and imagination.
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In the movie, Princeton University welcomes a famous figure, John. Nash. When he first entered the campus, this old-fashioned, restrained and strange boy often attracted imitation and ridicule from his classmates around him. Because he was not good at dealing with people, Nash was obsessed with developing his own original theories in the intricate mathematical world, like Einstein's "theory of relativity". This was the "game theory" that later became famous around the world and made Nash nobel prize, which had a major impact on later economics.
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Nash was able to stay on for his work because of his excellent original theoretical foundation.
One day he was approached by a classified intelligence officer who claimed to be the Ministry of Defense, who invited him to serve the country and secretly crack confidential documents intercepted from various countries. From that day on, the otherwise unsociable Nash became even more mysterious, often dignified, hurriedly carrying a stack of newspapers and magazines into his office, finding logic in the dazzling numbers, and whenever he cracked the connection, he excitedly threw them into the postbox designated by the military personnel.
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During this time, he fell in love, a beautiful and elegant schoolgirl, because she admired Nash's talent, took the initiative to invite Nash to a banquet of high-ranking officials and celebrities. After the dinner, Nash and the girl strolled by the spring, Nash looked at the stars in the sky, a series of gorgeous geometric figures flashed in his mind, he couldn't help but hold the girl's hand, facing the stars in the sky, painting her one scene after another, with the starry sky as the painting, the stars as the scene, which is probably the most romantic thing Nash has ever done in his life.
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And this girl later became his wife and the most important person in his life.
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At this time, Nash's work of cracking secret intelligence for the military continued, because it was a matter of national defense and security, and Nash never mentioned it to anyone.
But it was soon learned that the mad Nash was twisted to the hospital, and after the diagnosis, the doctor helplessly and sympathetically said to Alicia, your husband has a very serious mental illness and must be hospitalized, and he can no longer be exposed to any work.
Everything was a fantasy of Nash, the Ministry of Defense, confidential documents, codebreaking, and he explained to his wife over and over again what a great job he was doing. But Alicia took out a pile of old and tattered newspapers in front of him, the precious documents he had sent to decipher the enemy, and cried to him that the letters had always been there, and no one had ever taken them.
Alicia looked at her husband with anguish, the shocked man in front of him, had he been communicating with his fantasy character for so many years? Are they all struggling to do something that never made sense?
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Nash broke down, and for the sake of his wife, he had to stop working and take his medication on time. Nash was often in a daze and didn't know what to think. Usually such people seem to be out of the human world, they are interested in mysterious and unknown things, but they have no heart for the mundane things in front of them.
During this time Alicia became pregnant and gave birth to a boy. Nash seemed to get better, often helping with things, and Alicia began to feel reassured to let him do some housework. One day, when it was about to rain, Alicia hurried out to collect her clothes, and when she left, she asked Nash to take care of the baby and put water on the baby to bathe, and Nash agreed with a smile.
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As Alicia walked back with her clothes in her arms, she inadvertently glanced at a log cabin not far behind the house, and she walked over curiously and opened it, and saw the same arrangement as Nash's newspaper-stowed research room, which was like another workplace that Nash had secretly built, and on the table was a small box with pills neatly arranged, and it looked like Nash had not taken medicine for a long time. His hallucinations continued.
Suddenly, Alicia thought of the baby still in the bath. A sense of fear sprang up. She sped home and saw the bath, the water was already coming out, the baby was crying in confusion, and Nash was yelling loudly into the air, and the audience saw in the movie that Nash saw the military personnel who had come to him and threatened him to kill his wife and children if he did not continue to work for them.
When Nash saw him draw his gun and aim it at Alicia, he ran over and slammed Alicia aside, but Alicia couldn't see anything, and she looked at Nash, who was still roaring into the air, terrified.
Looking down at the baby in her arms, Alicia stepped out decisively, determined to leave him.
Nash chased him out and blocked in front of Alicia, and at the same time he "saw" the man come out too, when he saw his college roommate Charles, and his niece, coming out of nowhere.
Suddenly, he seemed to understand, because after all these years, Charles still hadn't grown old, still the same as he was in college, and his niece had never grown up, still 5 years old. In an instant, Nash woke up, and he finally believed that everything was his hallucination, that there was no military officer, not even the roommate he had been with for several years.
Waking up, Nash no longer resisted being told that he had mental problems, and he began to cooperate with the medication, but the long-term medication brought great side effects, and he could not even meet his wife's needs. He also often hurt himself unconsciously. One day he begged Alicia to leave him, saying that there was no way to give her what she wanted. Nash said I couldn't believe what I saw and heard, and I didn't know which was true and which was false. Nash clutched his hair in pain.
Alicia squatted down gently and handed him a white handkerchief, the promise alicia had given him to decorate his suit when they first met. Years passed, and Alicia kept it well.
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Alicia took Nash's hand, put it on her own heart, stared into his eyes and said, I'm real, love is real.
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Nash looked at her and then hugged her tightly.
For the next thirty years, Alicia stayed with him, treating him better and encouraging him to continue his previous teaching work. One of his former alumni, the guy who mocked Nash years ago, had become the president of a university, and when he saw his embarrassed old friend who didn't know how to open his mouth, he thoughtfully gave Nash a warm hug. He knew about Nash, and while admiring Nash's superhuman achievements in the academic field, with sympathy and pity for genius, he accepted Nash and agreed to Nash's work of teaching.
When Nash was walking on the road after class, he saw his former roommate Charles waiting for him on the side of the road with his niece, and seeing them greeting him warmly, Nash could only walk over expressionlessly, sometimes he would scold them to get out of his mind.
Sometimes Nash would suddenly see the military officer at the back of the class, his eagle-sharp eyes staring at him, and Nash looked at the young and curious faces of the whole hall, and he calmly finished the lecture again and again.
Gradually, Nash seemed to get used to their presence, and no matter how much they greeted him or complained about the threat, Nash turned a blind eye, and this situation continued for many years.
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One day many years later, when the old Nash walked out of the classroom and greeted the students and was about to leave, a man at the door stopped him and politely asked him if he was Mr. Nash, nash looked at the polite stranger, he immediately pulled a female student who was about to walk out the door, and asked: Can you see him? The schoolgirl signed down and immediately smiled brightly, "Yeah."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah." The schoolgirl smiled and nodded as she spoke.
So Nash turned around and explained apologetically, and the person who came looked very clear. It turned out that this person was the main investigator of the Nord Prize institution, because of Nash's academic achievements, he had been nominated for the Nord Prize in Economics, and the person came to check on Nash's mental condition this time.
They were sitting in the reading room, chatting, and the old professor, who had afternoon tea next to him, came up and put a fountain pen in front of Nash. , gently patted him on the shoulder. The old professors in the neighborhood also came to him one by one and gave him the fountain pens they were wearing, which was a great honor. It represents everyone's affirmation and appreciation for you, and even admiration. Soon, a whole row of pens was stacked on the table. Nash's eyes were moist. The investigator next to him saw all this and already understood.
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That year, John. Nash won the Nobel Prize in Economics, and his game theory later had a profound impact on the economic and military aspects.
Nash's whole life, most of his life has been fighting schizophrenia, fantasy, ordinary people are accustomed to seeing him is a temptation to him again and again. But because of love, he faced his illness squarely, and still did his best to help more people. As he talked in front of a group of young faces, no one remembered him as a psychopath who had suffered from schizophrenia for years.
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I don't know how many of these groups in this world, in unknown corners, struggle day after day with unseen diseases for such a simple desire to survive.
I know this taste very well, and I have struggled countless times in the world of reality and fantasy, and I have a hard heart to classify sounds that cannot be actually touched as imagination or speculation, so as not to sink in the fantasy world and find no way back to reality.
But seemingly indifferent self-preservation often makes me feel that my heart is getting harder and harder. Fortunately, I also have people who love me, have faith that supports me all my life, and tells me what is true.
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I believe that love is true.
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