#头条创作挑战赛#
Not long ago, I was confronted with the question: What kind of people should I avoid conflict with in my daily life?
A high-voted answer is thought-provoking: those who have more free time than you.
Why?
The reason is that these people have enough time to interfere with the rhythm of your life, to wear down your will, and to try to put you on the same level as them.
What's even more vigilant is that many of them are good at sowing discord, and can easily consume a lot of your precious time and energy, forcing you to fall into unnecessary entanglements.
Therefore, the wise man knows that when dealing with such "idlers", it is not necessary to argue about the merits in every detail.
Sometimes, timely avoidance and concession can be a wise move.
Doing so will not only protect yourself from negative energies, but will also ensure that your time and energy are spent in more valuable ways.
People who want to do things don't mess with people who are too idle
A friend recently confided in me that she had just finished a relationship and was exhausted.
This experience stemmed from a recommendation from his family, and he tried blind dates to find the so-called "right person".
The woman's job is easier, which seems to give her plenty of time to keep in touch. She often initiates conversations and always wants to share the bits and pieces of her life.
Friends understand that it is important to give emotional support to each other in a relationship.
However, the lady's demand was almost suffocating.
Even during working hours, information is constantly circulating, ignoring the boundaries of his work. Even though she had been told in advance that there was an important meeting and that she needed to concentrate, her messages continued uninterrupted, ignoring his work status.
If there is a slight delay in replying, dozens of emojis will follow along with the words "you don't love me anymore" and "you don't care about me anymore", which will seriously interfere with his thoughts and prevent him from fully engaged in his work.
Especially during a major project, the burden on his shoulders was extremely heavy, and he worked day and night, and even simple meals became extravagant.
Despite being honest about the situation and showing a timeline full of tasks, she chose to ignore it.
After work, she went straight to his office, and in the face of the mountain of work materials, her appearance was accompanied by dissatisfaction and complaints, accusing him of only caring about work and ignoring her.
He longed to soothe her and enjoy his leisure time together, but reality did not allow for the slightest relaxation.
At such a critical moment, he had to temporarily sacrifice the nourishment of personal feelings.
After much deliberation, they finally chose to break up.
Reflecting on this relationship, he emphasized that he was in a period of career struggle, and although he understood that everyone longs for attention and love, he is more eager for a partner who can understand and respect each other's rhythm of life.
It's not that he's unwilling to provide emotional value, it's that he really doesn't have time to care about it at some pinch.
In fact, there is often no shortage of such characters around us:
Some friends, once free, will talk about trivial things and frequently invite them to get together.
There are also idle relatives who are enthusiastic about discussing trivial matters such as neighborhood salaries and emotional fluctuations when they get together.
Perhaps, in their eyes, this is the norm of interpersonal communication, but they don't know that for the other party, this has become a burden and even a distraction.
There is no need to blame, just because the focus of each other's lives is very different.
You know, they waste time, and you value it to get things done.
For those who are motivated, it is wise to avoid deep friendships with people who are too leisurely.
After all, time is the most precious resource for you.
Compete with people who are too idle, and you will always be a loser
When Liu Fen first entered the real estate agency industry, she encountered an unusually busy client. She is passionate and determined to be recognized for her service excellence.
Therefore, in the process of promoting the property, she not only promised to help pick up and drop off the client's children, but also offered to buy and deliver to the door.
Unexpectedly, this series of enthusiastic behaviors touched the sensitive nerves of the family nanny, who was worried that she would appear redundant and even face the risk of losing her job.
In the face of such a misunderstanding, Liu Fen could have stopped the loss in time, but she was not deeply involved in the world at that time, and she wanted to prove her ability and value, so she inadvertently fell into the subtle competition with the nanny, and insisted on standing in the customer's perspective, which invisibly exacerbated the contradiction.
Unfortunately, the nanny's leisure time increased as a result, and she, together with her friends in the city, began to frequently "visit" Liu Fen's workplace, occupying her time on the grounds of viewing the house, and complaining if she was slightly dissatisfied.
In the long run, Liu Fen's business was seriously affected, her performance declined, and she eventually left her job because she could not meet the performance standards.
The lesson of this is that it is wise to give in when faced with certain conflicts in life.
Don't get overly entangled with people who have a lot of free time, because the last thing they need is time resources, and they tend to gather in groups, which can be a lasting drain on you.
It is wise to seek solutions at the first signs of development, avoid unnecessary consumption, and focus your precious energy on more valuable people and things.
As the old saying goes, if you fight an evil dragon for too long, you will become a dragon yourself. Gaze into the abyss for a long time, and the abyss will respond with gaze.
Therefore, learning to sift through and invest your time and energy in the people and things that really matter in your life is an important lesson in your life journey.
This is not only self-protection, but also the cherishing and improvement of the quality of life.
If you are too idle, you will become a black hole that will swallow you
A passage in Rousseau's "Confessions" reveals a profound self-examination:
He would rather be alone in a lonely game than have a deep conversation with an innocuous passer-by.
When I first read this statement, I was puzzled, and it was not until the years went by, and the trivialities of life followed me like a shadow, that I realized the profound wisdom contained in it.
Recalls a former colleague, a girl full of youthful vitality, but there are also troubles that are difficult to ignore:
At all times, she always seems to be in a state of idleness, which drives her around looking for someone to talk to.
As a result, her name frequently appears in my chat history, covering everything from daily trivialities such as lunch choices, milk tea invitations, to internal company trends.
She is extremely active in various group chats, and any small changes can be amplified by her into a public topic.
However, as time goes on, the number of people willing to be close to her gradually decreases, and the reasons behind it are intriguing:
Most people enter the workforce to get the job done efficiently, rather than spending precious time in non-work-related chatter. This phenomenon is especially prominent in busy times.
Every time she invited me to go downstairs for a shopping break, it became a burden for me.
Because this short "break" often means extra overtime to make up for the lost time, which is physically and mentally exhausting.
There is a saying that idleness is perhaps the most extravagant hypocrisy:
This type of person often exaggerates trivial things, becomes a spreader of gossip, and inadvertently embezzles other people's time as their own entertainment.
But remember, society is like a sophisticated machine, and everyone has a unique role and task.
Imagine a long day of conversation between a sheep herder and a woodcutter:
The shepherd's flock is fed with this leisure time, but what about the woodcutter's pyre?
Is it still empty?
Knowing this, many distractions can be resolved.
It is a kind of wisdom to focus on moving forward on their own tracks.
Smart people purify their circle of friends
In the face of such people, psychologists have come up with such a strategy: improve yourself and distance yourself from them.
This means that along the way to climb, it is inevitable that you will encounter sneers and ridicule.
But remember, none of this should be a reason for you to stagnate. Persistence is the only way to surpass them.
Rest assured that as you climb to new heights, those negative voices will gradually dissipate and will never be able to touch your world again.
And when you stand tall enough, the former skeptics can only look up at your accomplishments.
A wise man who is good at optimizing his social circle.
They are well versed in the wisdom of interpersonal communication, and can accurately judge who deserves deep interaction, who is just a passerby in life, and who needs to be gradually distanced.
This ability is a shrewd management of one's social circle and a crucial long-term lesson in one's life journey.
Therefore, learning this lesson – identifying and adjusting the distance between near and far relatives in interpersonal relationships – is not only a sign of growth, but also the only way to a higher realm.