May is the peak period for marriage, from the "May Day" holiday to "5.20" and "5.21" and other good days for marriage registration, and topics related to "bride price" are also frequently searched. High bride price, purchase of "three golds", high-end banquets, buying a house and a car...... Many young people and their families have exclaimed, "It's too stressful." ”
How to treat the "sky-high bride price"? Not without methodology.
In 2019, the No. 1 document of the Central Committee named for the first time "bad social practices such as bad customs at weddings and funerals, sky-high bride prices, etc." Since 2021, the No. 1 document of the Central Committee has put forward governance requirements for the issue of high bride price for four consecutive years. In recent years, various localities have continued to promote the work of changing customs and customs, and some localities have accumulated a lot of experience, which is worth learning.
In 2021, Hejian City, Hebei Province, was identified by the Ministry of Civil Affairs as a national experimental area for marriage customs reform. According to data from the Hejian Marriage Registration Center, more than 10,000 newlyweds have been registered since Hejian City was included in the pilot reform of marriage customs, of which about 85% are low-priced bride prices.
So, how did Hejian do it?
One
Flexibility in setting standards. Whether the bride price is high or not, there is a standard to have a reference. Before the implementation of the policy, the first task is to establish the bride price standard, and in the formulation of the bride price standard, it is necessary to avoid "one size fits all". According to reports, Hejian City combined the opinions of the township and the village, and the relevant departments of the city repeatedly discussed, and finally set the standard of low-cost bride price - less than 60,000 yuan.
The local staff said frankly, "As a custom that has lasted for thousands of years, it is unrealistic to completely return to zero, and it is also necessary to spend money on the purchase of gifts and jewelry, so the zero bride price we are talking about is not a penny, but less than 30,000 yuan can be identified as zero bride price." "Respecting the reality and fully listening to the opinions of all parties may be the key to the smooth progress of the reform of marriage customs in Hejian City.
Two
Adapt to local conditions to the village. It is worth mentioning that the standard of bride price in Hejian City is that "different villages can be determined through consultation based on their actual economic level".
Different places have different levels of economic development, and so do social concepts and marriage customs. The same number may feel "already low" in some places, but "too high" in others.
One principle may be followed: let the local residents not feel the pressure and burden, and truly let the bride price be given happily and received calmly.
Three
Party members and cadres take the lead. The atmosphere of extravagance and waste is often formed in the process of comparing with each other, and good social customs are formed in the effect of example. In order to establish a social consensus on low bride price and zero bride price, the role of the "locomotive" cannot be ignored, and it is necessary to actively give play to the leading role of party members, cadres and public officials.
Many times, the bride price is a matter of face, some people feel that they will lose face if they receive less, and some people feel that they have no face if they receive less. To reverse this concept, it is necessary to make people feel that only by low bride price and zero bride price can they save face. To establish this concept, party members and cadres can start from themselves and take the lead in reforming their own family style.
Not only should they insist on low bride price and zero bride price for their own happy events, but party members and cadres should also actively drive more people. In Luowei Village, Shaheqiao Town, Hejian City, a pair of prospective newlyweds' families were at loggerheads due to the issue of bride price, and Luo Quanfu, the village party secretary, came to the door 4 times, accompanied the man's father and son and the woman's parents to communicate repeatedly, and finally "cut" the bride price from 400,000 yuan to 60,000 yuan step by step, promoting a happy union between the two.
Four
Innovate ways to publicize. At the beginning of this year, the Supreme People's Court promulgated the Provisions on Several Issues Concerning the Application of Law in the Trial of Cases Involving Disputes Involving Bride Price, which explicitly prohibits the use of bride price as an excuse to solicit property from marriage. Recently, the official account of the Hunan Provincial High Court conducted a special live broadcast: law enforcement officers came to the door to carry out the centralized "return of the bride price". 2.74 million people watched the live broadcast, and many netizens suggested that it be promoted nationwide.
In other places, the eight immortals also crossed the sea to show their magical powers. For example, by holding "zero bride price" collective wedding activities, with the secretary of the county party committee as a witness, advocating new happy events and simple marriages, etc., a huge "public opinion offensive" has been formed, creating topics in the local area, and conveying the concept of "zero bride price" to thousands of households in the way of street talks.
The bride price, dissected from the literal meaning, is nothing more than a kind of etiquette to add color to the marriage. The reason for the abnormal changes in the process of development is affected by the changes in the socio-economic foundation and its form, as well as the evolution of social relations and concepts. Therefore, when it comes to the change of customs and customs of the bride price, the key is to analyze the economic reasons, take symptomatic measures, and gradually change the traditional concept in the guidance.
The above four "magic weapons" are not exhaustive, but the ideas and methods are worth learning.
Written by Shi Feng
Edit | Feng Xiaonan
Editor-in-Chief | Li Yunan
Producer丨Shu Jingjing, Liu Bing
Picture | Visual China