#五月生活碎片#
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In the dimly lit ward, in the dim light, lay a sallow-faced man, who looked skinny and skinny.
After waiting for a long time, there were no relatives around him to visit, only a nurse came and went.
After a while, a woman burst into the room, clutching a few pages of paper in her hand.
Her eyes were resolute and her steps were firm, as if she had forgotten all her emotions.
When the man saw the comer, he struggled to sit up, but the pain in his body forced him to give up.
The woman didn't have any extra words, and directly handed the pieces of paper to the man, urging him to sign.
The man's hand trembled and picked up the pen, and he wrote his name on the paper crookedly - Lu Yao.
It turned out that the man in front of him was the famous writer Lu Yao, and the woman was his wife, Linda.
The moment he finished signing, Lu Yao's heart also sank, and an unprecedented loneliness and helplessness spread around him.
The nurse, who saw all this from afar, frowned, and her face was full of confusion and anger.
Then he began to complain:
Teacher Lu Yao's condition is so serious, she doesn't take care of it, and she ruthlessly asks him to divorce, what kind of person!!
Lu Yuanyuan heard the nurse's muttering, just smiled, and shook his head again:
In my life, I owe her too much after all, and that's it, it's good to be separated from each other.
At that time, Linda did not expect that this would be the last time the two would meet in this life, and soon after, Lu Yao would die.
I knew ...... earlier, alas.
The arrangement of fate
Back then, Linda loved Lu Yao miserably.
Lin Da was one of the first people to go to the countryside to be educated youth, and since she came to Shaanxi that year, her fate has been closely linked to this yellow earth.
In fact, at the earliest, Lu Yao fell in love not with Linda, but with Linda's friend, Lin Hong.
Lin Hong, who can sing and dance, is beautiful and lively, just like Tian Xiaoxia in "Ordinary World", always attracts this Lu Yao like Sun Shaoping.
And Lu Yao, who was born in a peasant family, is not like an ordinary farmer's child, he is very talented, relying on this, Lin Hong also fell in love with Lu Yao, and the two quickly came together.
During the love period, Lu Yao gave himself the pen name 'Yingyihong'.
He loves Lin Hong seriously and passionately, and wants to give everything he has to Lin Hong.
At that time, Lu Yao got a recruitment quota in the county, which was a good opportunity for him to jump out of the farm, but he didn't think about it because he was in love, so he gave the quota to Lin Hong.
Others persuaded him, you two haven't written a word yet, but don't lose your wife and break your soldiers.
Lu Yao didn't listen at all: Don't worry, I know it in my heart. Besides, it's worth my death for her!
This love brain is hopeless, and I don't bother him anymore, so shut up obediently.
But gradually, Lu Yao couldn't say anything like "death is worth it".
It turned out that as Lin Hong entered the city, the contact between the two became less and less, and he often wrote letters but did not reply.
Finally one day, Lu Yao received a reply from Lin Hong, he opened it excitedly, and saw that it was written on the letterhead: Break off friendship.
Lu Yao was stunned, frustrated in the workplace, frustrated in love, and everyone around him came to laugh at him, how could a 21-year-old boy accept this?
He even thought about death for a while.
My friend Cao Guxi couldn't stand it anymore, so she dragged another intellectual, Lin Da, to persuade Lin Hong to change her mind, but of course Lin Hong refused, she already had a new boyfriend.
However, in this process, Lu Yao and Linda did not have contact.
Just when he was frustrated, the poem was published in the journal "Mountain Flower", and Lu Yao was proud of his workplace, and Lu Yao immediately eased up.
At this time, Lu Yao was also famous, and many girls expressed their admiration to Lu Yao.
His friend Haibo suggested that he should seize this opportunity:
You're going to find one of our local girls, be reliable.
Lu Yao said directly:
"Which local woman can afford to send me to college? How do you get out without going to college? ”
This sentence is a phoenix man, but his desire to go to college and go out can indeed make sense.
He grew up in a poor family and was sent to his uncle's house for foster care, and his uncle's family was just as poor, even if he was working now, he didn't have any salary, and even if he had the opportunity to go to college, he couldn't afford it at all.
However, it was at this moment that the gears of fate began to turn.
When we meet, we win countless people in the world
Soon after, Lu Yao was transferred to the county communication group as a "trainee" and began to contact Linda.
Slowly, Lynda turned out to be obsessed with this friend's ex-boyfriend:
Lu Yao is calm, down-to-earth, talented, and profound, which is simply a rare light of life in that era.
And Linda, who went to the countryside from a big city, is even more different.
She is not as hot as Lin Hong, but more of a beautiful beauty.
She comes from a wealthy family, is well-read, and more importantly, she is very simple, neither pretentious nor pretentious.
Gradually, Lu Yao also developed strange feelings for Linda, and the two began to date.
That year, Lin Da returned to Fujian to visit relatives, the smile on his face could hardly be hidden, and he couldn't wait to tell her the good news when he saw his mother for the first time.
The mother pondered for a long time, and then asked: What kind of person is Lu Yao?
Linda said for a long time.
The mother smiled slightly: "What you said are his strengths, but what about his shortcomings?" ”
Linda was speechless for a while.
The mother smiled again: "You are in love now, and you see all the advantages, but you still have to understand his shortcomings." ”
Linda was completely confused: "Why? ”
"Only when you know his shortcomings and are willing to tolerate them can you two become true partners," the mother said earnestly. ”
Linda nodded, and after returning to the village, he didn't know how to face Lu Yao for a while, so he deliberately kept his distance from him.
This made Lu Yao wonder: Could it be that her parents disagreed? Or am I not doing a good job?
Lu Yao is not only sad: Could it be that Linda is also going to leave me......
Unconsciously, he walked up to his friend Cao Guxi and cried so much that he couldn't stop crying.
At this time, Cao Guxi felt even more strange: No, absolutely not, Lin Da is not that kind of person, she must have thought about it before dating Lu Yao, there must be something wrong here.
So, he played the role of a "spy" and went to have an in-depth exchange with Linda, which was the reason.
Then, Cao Guxi laughed: "You stupid girl, if you want to know his shortcomings, then you must continue to date, and you will definitely not be able to understand if you avoid it." ”
A word wakes up the dreamer.
Linda remembered the happy time the two of them had together, and unconsciously looked back at Lu Yao in the distance.
This time I turned around, it was half a lifetime.
In the spring of 1973, Lin Da, who thought he had understood Lu Yao's shortcomings, followed Lu Yao back to Qingjian in Shaanxi, and the two officially confirmed their relationship.
Lu Yao's parents looked at their prospective daughter-in-law from the city, and they didn't know what to say excitedly.
On the other hand, someone in the village began to chew the root of the tongue again: "It's really good, the scar forgets the pain." Isn't he afraid that this girl in the city will abandon him? ”
However, the truth slapped those people in the face.
Later, Linda not only did not break up with Lu Yao, but also really loved Lu Yao.
Marriage? Or a dream
In that era of extremely scarce resources, rural people did not have enough food and clothing, let alone school.
Educated youth, relatively speaking, the situation will be better, at least they have a fixed salary every month.
At that time, Lin Da's monthly salary was 38 yuan, and she took out a small part of it as her basic living expenses, and sent the rest to Lu Yao for him to study in college and buy books.
Later, as the domestic situation improved, the tide of educated youths returning to their hometowns came.
At that time, Linda also got a chance to go to college, but if she went to college, Lu Yao would not be able to go to school.
So she resolutely gave up the opportunity to return to the city to go to college, gave up the future, and stayed by Lu Yao's side.
Lu Yao's heart was shaken, and he joked that he used "temporary equipment" to go to college.
The mother was also grateful:
"He relied on his family before he went to college, and he relied on his daughter-in-law after college."
It can be said that without Linda, there would be no famous writer Lu Yao all over the country, and there would be no "Life" and "Ordinary World" that we are familiar with.
In that era full of betrayal and suspicion, Lu Yao and Linda told us what love looks like best.
I just want your heart to be happy.
In 1978, in a burst of laughter, Lu Yao and Linda walked into the marriage hall, looking at the family members beside them, they smiled happily, and when their fingers were clasped, they thought in their hearts that they must be like this for the rest of their lives.
It's a pity that people can't live forever in the wind and snow of writers.
In the second year of marriage, a daughter was born far away, and challenges came with happiness.
Lu Yao was inspired by the arrival of his daughter, and his creative passion reached his peak, often without eating, drinking, or sleeping, and naturally it was impossible to take care of his daughter and deal with family chores.
The salary of the two is very limited, and Lu Yao's manuscript fee is even more rare, and the family can't afford to hire a nanny.
As a result, all matters need to be undertaken by Linda alone.
She is the child's diet and daily life, she is the one who picks up and drops off to and from school, she is the one who lights the fire and cooks at home, she is the one who carries the gas tank upstairs, and she is the one who comes to the family to deal with the relatives.
Lu Yao only needs to be his own shopkeeper.
Oh no, not only does he shake his hands, but he also needs Linda to take care of him.
How could Linda, who claims to be a woman in the new era, stand it, and didn't want to let herself be lost like this again, so in 1984, she proposed to Lu Yao to separate.
Lu Yao listened: This must be angry, ignore her, and you will be fine.
At that time, Lu Yao had already become a famous writer with "A Thrilling Scene" and "Life", and was preparing "Ordinary World".
Lu Yao, who was immersed in the world of literature, completely took Linda's words as a deaf ear.
The following year, he went north to the Tongchuan Coal Mine alone with two boxes of books, intending to experience life and create again.
At that time, he did not consider how much harm his actions would cause to his wife and daughter.
As everyone knows, this time, his life is gradually dying out.
epilogue
After arriving in Tongchuan, Lu Yao often stayed up all night to write, "starting at noon in the morning", nibbling on a few mouthfuls of steamed buns when he was hungry, and smoking cigarettes one after another when he was sleepy.
That's when the body was dragged down.
In 1987, Lu Yao returned home and continued to create "Ordinary World".
Although she returned home, Linda was still alone to support the family and continue her widowed marriage.
She filed for divorce again, and Lu Yao's younger brother Wang Tianle also persuaded her brother:
"Let's leave, find a rural girl, it's okay if you can't read, the main thing is to take care of your life."
But Lu Yao still disagreed: divorce is too embarrassing, and there is still a long way to go.
He also knew that his marriage to Linda was already in name only. But he still didn't want to give up.
On the other hand, he continued to write, and his physical condition also deteriorated visibly, sometimes even spitting blood from his mouth.
But he didn't want to leave himself with regrets and continued to race against time.
In 1988, Lu Yao finally finished writing the third part of "Ordinary World", which caused a shock as soon as it was published.
Three novels, 1.1 million words, won the Mao Dun Literature Award in 1991.
Everyone in the world envies Linda for having a famous writer husband, but only Linda knows how hard she has been along the way.
In 1992, Linda filed for divorce for the last time, and had already arranged a job in Beijing, planning to take her daughter back to Beijing.
Perhaps Lu Yao knew that his life was short, so he agreed to the divorce, and planned to go through the divorce procedures after returning from Yan'an.
It's a pity that this trip, he never came back alive.
On November 17, 1992, Lu Yao died of illness at the age of 42.
But fortunately, while he was still alive, he let Linda live.
In this life, he is worthy of his parents, his hometown, the world, and the people in his pen, but he is only sorry for his wife and daughter.
However, Linda's complaint against Lu Yao also disappeared with the gushing tears and the rising incense......
However, this still can't resist the world's doubts about Linda: your husband has been hospitalized for three months, and you only come once, and it is still for divorce.
But without the suffering of others, do not persuade others to be kind.
As Lu Yao's friend Hai Bo said:
I think the main responsibility for Lu Yao and Linda's unhappiness lies with Lu Yao, not Linda...... He gave the best and most essential side to society and readers, and left the shadow to his relatives, especially his lover Linda.
I can't help but sigh.
As Cangyang Gyatso said: The world has the law of both, and it lives up to its promise.
If Lu Yao is just an ordinary person who only cares about his own food, clothing, housing and transportation, then Linda's marriage will be happy, right?
It's a pity that Lu Yao is a genius.
He used the most ordinary language to create the most beautiful flowers, and illuminated the humble people in the world with the life that withered in advance.
I think that at this moment, Linda and Yuanyuan are more proud and proud in their hearts.
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