I've always envied a friend who feels like she's happy in retirement.
She and her husband's retirement salaries are relatively high, and their only daughter is also very promising, after graduating from 985 graduate school, she found a job in Shanghai with a monthly salary of more than 20,000 yuan, and she doesn't have to worry about her parents.
The husband and wife like to travel, and after retiring, they have traveled to most of China and more than a dozen foreign countries.
But a few days ago, when everyone was eating together, she sighed and looked very unhappy.
After questioning, I learned that her daughter is Chinese New Year's Eve five years old today, and she is unwilling to fall in love, let alone get married, and even her parents oppose it.
We joked, if your daughter gets married, will you two still be able to play around in such a chic way?
She said: "With grandchildren with them, who wants to run outside? If you don't go out, you can only sulk at home every day." ”
I see.
I've found that many of the things in life that make us unhappy come from others.
For example, the leader can't see your efforts, always finds fault with you, and makes you feel hopeless in the future.
Desire your partner to treat you the way you want, but always disappointed.
I want my children to choose popular majors, but they always have their own ideas, which makes you very annoyed.
I want your friends to treat you the way you treat them, but it backfires.
I used to be like this, I always felt that many times I was in a bad mood, from others, and I couldn't help but want to interfere in some things, and when things didn't meet expectations, the negative emotions in my heart would increase.
After I retired, in the process of studying, I slowly realized that I had made a big mistake in life, which was to often treat other people's issues as my own.
It should be something that others are responsible for, but I want to change it, and the result is only more disappointed.
In psychology, there are three things in this world: God's business, other people's business, and one's own business.
It's going to rain and snow, it's going to be windy, it's a matter of God, it's beyond your reach.
Whether your children are married, how your partner treats you, and whether your colleagues are friendly to you are other people's issues, and you can't control them.
What a person can decide is his own subject.
And the common mistake we make is to let go of our own problems and take care of other people's problems and God's affairs.
As a result, other people's things are powerless, and their own things are not done well, but life is out of control.
And the best way to get rid of negative emotions is to learn to separate topics.
In life, separating one's own issues from many things and giving back to others is an effective way to gain a sense of control over one's life.
In this way, you can return your attention to yourself.
At this time, the energy is focused, the energy is concentrated, and you will be able to complete your tasks more efficiently.
If you put too much energy into things that you can't control, not only will you waste time, but in the end, you will end up with a sense of loss that you can't do anything about.
In addition, focusing too much on other people's issues can lead us to focus on other people's weaknesses and environmental problems, make excuses for our own misfortunes, and fail to take responsibility for our lives.
In life, we should try our best to do our own things.
There is a saying, do your best, obey the destiny of heaven.
Understand that everyone has their own limitations, understand the unpredictable changes in life, accept all the imperfections in life, and accept that you are sometimes powerless.
Then, go with the flow and go with the flow.
As stated in "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People", what we need to do for problems beyond our control is to change the curves of our faces and accept reality with a smile, sincerity and peace.
No matter how much you are dissatisfied, you must learn to deal with it calmly, so that you will not be swayed by the problem.
I also hope that in front of the screen, you can learn to separate topics, put important energy into important things, don't worry about other people's things, and focus on doing your best, so that you can truly have a happy and happy rest of your life.
With this encouragement!
#可以用一句话概括你的养生秘诀吗#