All the low-hanging pleasures have already been secretly marked with a price.
Child, I want you to have a life without regrets, not regrets as an adult.
Author | Maple
Last night, when I got up to go to the bathroom, I accidentally noticed a light shining under the door of my daughter's room.
I pushed the door and entered, and saw my daughter lying on the bed, fascinated by short videos, not noticing my arrival at all.
I think of the recent feedback from the teacher that my daughter has not concentrated in class, often sleepy, and yawns.
I snatched my phone and told her not to touch it again this semester.
As a result, her daughter exploded at once, and directly shouted three questions:
"Why did you confiscate my phone?"
"Every day is studying, studying, I can't relax yet?"
"Everyone else can play, so why can't I?"
I was silent because I didn't want to give her an authoritarian or perfunctory answer.
After thinking about it for a long time, I figured out how to talk to my daughter about playing with my phone:
Those who can't control their desires will eventually be controlled by their desires
Why restrict you from playing with your phone?
This is because playing with mobile phones is a desire, not a need.
The need is intrinsic and once it is satisfied, it disappears.
For example, if you are hungry and need to eat, you will not want to eat again when you are full, and if you are sleepy and need to sleep, you will not want to sleep again when you wake up.
And desire is external, and once it is easily satisfied, it grows bigger and bigger.
For example, if you play on your mobile phone for an hour, and you want to play for two or three hours, your mother will not object or control it, and you will play more and more.
So, needs can be satisfied, but desires need to be controlled.
I've seen such a news before.
A 14-year-old girl in Qingdao wanted to play with her mobile phone to pass the time when she was in bed with her grandmother in the hospital.
As a result, because she was unattended, she played for a full 81 hours.
Also because she didn't sleep for a long time, she almost died suddenly.
Luo Zhenyu, the founder of the "Get" App, once warned users:
"Glory of Kings has an excitement point in ten minutes, a chicken game has an excitement point in three minutes, and a short video even has to pursue an excitement point in one minute. ”
Daughter, you think that playing with your phone doesn't matter, but the moment you pick up your phone, you have already fallen into the trap of desire.
Led by the algorithms of big data, overwhelmed by unbridled sensory stimulation.
So, don't overestimate your self-control, and don't underestimate the allure of your phone.
If you can't resist the desire to play with your phone, you can only be enslaved by your phone.
Only by knowing how to restrain yourself and overcome your desires can you take control of your own life.
Choose to indulge when you should work hardest,
The future will leave you with only endless sighs
On the day of the meeting of the parents of the students, the mother of the student who took the first place in the class exam for many times in a row came to the stage to speak and made a very interesting comparison.
She asked the children in her class, "If we put a banana and a wad of money in front of the monkey, what do you think the monkey would choose?"
The students said in unison, "Bananas." ”
"Do you think monkeys are stupid?"
The classmates replied categorically: "Stupid." ”
"And if you had a phone and homework in front of you, what would you choose?"
The classmates burst into laughter: "Mobile phone." ”
The mother then said:
"Yes, the stupid monkey is very similar to the stupid you, the monkey only knows that the banana in front of him can be eaten when he picks it up, but he doesn't know that money can buy more bananas;
And now, you only know that you can get the happiness in front of you by picking up your mobile phone, but you don't know that studying hard can get a lifetime of happiness. ”
Daughter, what kind of life you live in the future depends entirely on your choices at the moment.
When you choose to indulge when you should work hardest, don't envy the achievements of others.
When you choose comfort when you should be upright, don't complain about the unsatisfactory life.
You must know that the biggest regret in the world is not "I can't", but "I could".
Therefore, take a long-term view, don't be paralyzed by the momentary happiness in front of you, and don't let the momentary indulgence become the regret of your life.
Children who can't put down their mobile phones often have to give up their lives.
Behind the low-hanging fruit happiness comes a high price
We read a fable together.
It is said that the wild goose and the duck are two brothers, and they both share a common ideal: to be travelers.
But when they really want to fly far away, the ducks are greedy for the comfort and happiness of the moment, afraid of the fatigue of flying, and are reluctant to set off again and again.
Year after year, geese flew over the mountains, crossed the sea, experienced countless unknown beauties, and also saw the vastness of the world.
Ducks, on the other hand, have gradually degraded their wings and become more and more bulky, and finally they can't fly if they want to, so they can only be kept in small pens.
Daughter, a network cable, a mobile phone, and a screen of short videos that can never be watched can indeed make you enjoy endless happiness in a short time.
But you have to know that all the low-hanging pleasures have already been secretly priced.
When you are like a duck and only care about pleasure, what you lose will also be your most important ability.
The book "Limited Screen Education" points out that the neural development of the human brain is "laying the foundation" before the age of 5, and "building a high-rise building" at the age of 6-18.
At these two stages, if the brain is always exposed to simple stimuli such as games and short videos, the brain may lose the opportunity to build complex neuronal connection structures, and those areas that have not been stimulated for a long time will be defaulted to "useless" and will no longer develop.
In the end, concentration, imagination, thinking, etc. are significantly behind ordinary children.
At the same time, it is also because of adaptation and getting used to fast, easy, and timely dopamine pleasure.
Then when you study in the future, the endorphins that require effort, thinking and exploration to secrete endorphins happiness will hardly attract you.
Your brain is also reluctant to face the difficulties and challenges of learning.
This is why many children are distracted, distracted, and wandering as soon as they study, and they can't learn at all, and their minds are only full of "playing with mobile phones".
Actually, this is the scary thing about "junk happiness":
When you're immersed in it, you don't feel the hurt of it.
By the time you wake up, you have been devoured by hard work, self-discipline, willpower, and self-motivation, and you have been completely reduced to a person who has no way to live.
where do you spend your time,
What kind of life will you have
Dong Yuhui once said a thought-provoking sentence in the live broadcast room:
No matter how broken a phone is, you need it, why? because it has games in it, and that's what it's worth.
No matter how bad your education is, as long as you have knowledge in your head, society needs you, and this is your value.
What you need is a game, what society needs is knowledge, if you don't learn today, you will not be as good as a mobile phone in the future, this is the reality.
Yes, if people have no value, who will accompany you in acting.
An empty bucket can only become an underground trash can if it is filled with garbage, and a pen holder can become a useful pen holder on the table.
The same goes for our brains.
If you have knowledge in your head, you will become invaluable;
If you have nothing in your head, you will only become worthless.
So, don't waste your youth in the best of years.
As soon as he graduated, he won Huawei's highest annual salary of 2 million yuan, Zuo Pengfei, a "genius boy", said in an interview:
"What's a genius? I'm just spending other people's time playing games in the lab. ”
Time is the fairest existence, and it is also your biggest capital now.
Instead of looking at other people's phones, it is better to look down at the books in your hands.
Although it is heavy and boring, it can lead you to a wider life.
Suffer a little more from studying today,
Tomorrow can harvest a little more sweetness of life
Finally, Mom would like to talk to you about what real suffering is.
It is undeniable that it is difficult to get up at six o'clock, it is very tiring to brush up on the questions and endorse, it is very annoying to go to home and school, and it is also very difficult to persist for ten years.
But what you don't know is that in a place you can't see:
Vendors at the wet market are already busy at 3 a.m., and sanitation workers are already working at 4 a.m.
On the construction site, the workers are exposed to the wind and the sun and dare not slack off; on the road, the delivery workers come and go in the wind and rain, and they run orders day and night; in the restaurant, the chef stands for several hours at a time, and he cannot eat a serious meal......
Daughter, the hardships of learning are limited and the rewards are huge, it will bring more choices, will open up more possibilities for your life, and let you harvest the life you want.
But the bitterness of life, night and day, is a desperate boundlessness, this kind of suffering cannot be seen, can not be touched, but it will be painful for a lifetime, this is the real suffering.
Why are you telling you this?
This is because there is a "law of conservation of suffering" in life, that is, everyone will suffer a certain amount of suffering in their lifetime, which will neither disappear out of thin air nor arise for no reason.
Today, you are addicted to games, greedy for comfort, and do not want to forge ahead, tomorrow, you will have to run for life and work at the bottom for a lifetime because you have no education and no technology.
Mom doesn't let you play with your phone, because she wants you to be a self-disciplined person.
In this way, in the future, you can stand at a higher starting point, freely choose the career you like, go to the place you like, and live a truly free life.
Instead of being forced to earn a living, support a family, and live this life in a mess.
Goethe was right when he said:
"Whoever plays with life will achieve nothing, and whoever cannot master himself will always be a slave." ”
Daughter, she only grows up once, and every stage is a live broadcast, and if you miss it, you can't do it again.
So, stop clinging to your phone!
There is nothing more fulfilling than self-discipline and perseverance.
There is no joy in life, and there is no greater joy than freedom to dominate life.
Every effort you make now is paving the way for your future.
In the future, you will definitely thank yourself for working hard today!
Click "Like", I hope all parents can do these three things and accompany their children to grow together!