In the process of each of us growing up, the influence of the family of origin is undoubtedly profound and long-lasting. Family of origin usually refers to the family environment in which a person has grown up since childhood, including parents, siblings, relatives, neighbors, and so on.
So, how does the family of origin affect our feelings?
1. Build character
The family of origin plays a vital role in the formation of our character. When we are young, our behavior patterns, emotional expressions, interpersonal communication styles, and even our worldview and values are mostly influenced by the family environment. For example, if the home environment is full of arguments and stress, we may learn to avoid conflict, get used to suppressing our emotions, or develop a cold and detached personality towards others. On the other hand, if the home environment is loving and supportive, we may learn to be confident, optimistic, and more empathetic and socially competent.
2. Affect self-perception
The family of origin is also an important source of our self-perception. As we grow up, we gradually develop a sense of and understanding of ourselves by observing and imitating the behavior of our parents. For example, if we see our parents supporting each other in times of difficulty from an early age, we may develop a positive perception of intimacy and think that we too can find support in times of difficulty. Conversely, if we see our parents arguing and even hurting each other a lot, we may develop a negative self-perception that we are unable to build healthy relationships.
3. Affect the expression and acceptance of feelings
Family of origin not only shapes our character and self-perception, but also influences the way we express and receive our feelings. In many families, the expression and reception of affection is often seen as a private, sensitive topic. If the home environment encourages open, open communication, then we may learn how to express and accept feelings and to respect and understand others. On the other hand, if the family environment is more inclined to suppress emotions, then we may encounter difficulties in expressing and accepting feelings, and even misunderstandings and conflicts.
Fourth, it affects marriage and romantic relationships
The influence of the family of origin on marriage and romantic relationships is also obvious. The communication patterns, communication styles, and emotional expressions that we learn in the family will be reflected in love and marriage relationships. For example, if we grew up in an environment full of arguments and stress, we may be too nervous and anxious in a relationship, fearing that a similar situation will arise. And if we see our parents supporting, caring, and respecting each other from an early age, we may be more confident and open in relationships, and it will be easier for us to build stable, long-term relationships.
However, the influence of the family of origin is not absolute. While our family environment will shape our emotional world to a great extent, we still have the opportunity to break through the limitations of our family of origin through learning, growth, and self-exploration. Through psychological counseling, self-reflection, reading and learning, we can better understand our emotional world and enhance our self-awareness and self-acceptance.
In addition, we should also realize that the family of origin is not the only factor that determines everything about us. In the face of challenges and difficulties, we need to learn to seek external support and help, including friends, family, professionals, etc. By communicating and collaborating with others, we can better understand ourselves and others and build healthier, more positive relationships.
The family of origin has a profound impact on our emotional world. It shapes our character, self-perception, emotional expression, and receptivity, and also largely determines our marriage and romantic relationships. However, that doesn't mean we can't change or break through. Through self-reflection, learning, and growth, we can gradually break through the limitations of our family of origin and build healthier and more positive relationships.