Yi Nengjing's son's reputation reversed, and Wang Xiaofei became even more pathetic

Now, Yi Nengjing not only got "Love Book", but also "Parenting Secrets".

Text: Miss Bovary

As soon as this article comes out, someone will definitely say that I am stepping on it. "Comparison" is a serious way of argumentation in argumentative essay writing, there is a comparison to distinguish, in order to make the truth more clearly emerge, who said that the purpose of comparison must be to pull a step on one?

Of course, where there is a comparison, there will be a distinction between superior and inferior, and the side that is compared will inevitably have a little embarrassment. But there is no way, there is a cause to have an effect, who called you "inferior to others"?

Here's the thing: When Wang Xiaofei made trouble at his ex-wife's residence twice in a row, and swore cruel words at the door of the police station but ended up in disgrace, Yi Nengjing's son Enli quietly gained a wave of fans with a Q&A video and some street interviews.

Although the two are more than 20 years apart, he can be his father if he gets married early, but as "children of famous women", they are very worthy of being put on the same level to discuss: one is the rich second generation who is gradually collapsing, and his appearance will become a joke on the whole Internet;

Wang Xiaofei used to be one of the four young people in Beijing, a young talent who was scrambled by female stars, and a normal and excellent man;

And now, they have all achieved their own reputation reversal with their own strength.

So, what is "normal" and what makes raising a boy a wise mother?

He's feminine, but he's also so cute

Watching a video of Enli, you can instantly be sure that this kid is indeed Ms. Yi Nengjing's biological son.

That smile, the tone of the speech, and the degree of density of the words are completely a perfect replica of Yi Nengjing.

Oh yes, it happens to be Pisces too. Whether it is movies, music, reading, gender issues, or social issues, he has many unique opinions of his own, and he is the kind of young man with a full core and a broad spiritual world.

There is a very relaxed sense of power in his expression, not as the prejudice suggests, and it is not a superficial and bravado.

Regardless of whether he is talented or not, at least his conversation reflects the vitality and maturity of a 22-year-old boy, as if the world is a huge playground, and he can play several more rounds with great interest, and dressing up as a woman is just a form of play he likes, not an outlet to expose problems.

It is said that "loving people is like raising flowers", and it is obvious that this is a flower with vigorous vitality and a pleasing flower. Of course, the flower grows like this, thanks to the nourishment he has received since he was a child.

Let's start with getting dressed.

Many people envy Enli's taste and courage in dressing, but he said that it was not achieved overnight, but little by little.

According to his own words, between the ages of 8 and 10, he was once obsessed with some very punk and emo clothes that were not well-behaved and decent, but he just wore them, dressed on the street, dressed to school, and over time formed his own style.

There is a hidden information point in this: no one cares, and without the forcible intervention and guidance of his parents from top to bottom, he has the freedom to explore and toss around on his own early on.

Let's just say which East Asian kid doesn't envy it? Not to mention far, my mom will always point out my style of dressing now...... (Feel sorry for yourself for three seconds.) ）

Many parents always have a senseless fear that if they don't get involved, the child will be ruined. But in fact, every life has its own potential, and if you give him plenty of space and time, he will not grow too badly.

On the contrary, too much interference will add a lot of unnecessary frustration to the process of children's interaction with the world. That is, even though he can do it in his own way, you have to do it for him, which blocks his path to becoming himself.

A person who is filled with too much frustration in his heart naturally cannot live with full interest, he can only puff around in the same place, and let the escape from his parents and the hatred of his parents become the main motivation for life.

As a parent, in the process of raising children, they satisfy narcissism and demonstrate authority, but they also have to pay the corresponding price in the second half of their lives. (It's Zhang Lan's mother and son, let's talk slowly.) ）

Enli also said that he and his mother often quarrel, but no matter how much they argue, it doesn't delay her or the person who silently supports you, and you will still love each other deeply.

First of all, allowing quarrels is also a manifestation of the family's insistence on equality and freedom, if conflict is not allowed and can only be "one word", it will inevitably mean that a certain "authority" will swallow up all other voices, this family is maintained by strangling other spiritual lives to fulfill a person's individual narcissism, harmonious on the surface, cannibalistic inside, this structure is very terrifying.

So as Enley said, being able to quarrel is healthy.

Secondly, no matter how much you quarrel, both sides will not break, and arguing will not breed hatred but can deepen understanding and bring a very deep sense of security.

Looking back, he felt that there was always someone behind him firmly guarding him, so that he could run to the vast unknown territory with more peace of mind. On the contrary, if his parents are very hideous or weak, he is either afraid or worried in his heart, so even if he goes to the ends of the earth, it is difficult to truly separate from his parents and become an independent and strong self.

Why is it always Fei who is framed?

Wang Xiaofei's state is almost the opposite of Enli:

Enli's speech is logical, while Xiaofei, whether she posts on Weibo or live broadcasts, always puts her emotions first and her logic is chaotic, and she often looks like she has just drunk five catties of fake wine and goes to the battlefield.

In addition, Enli has his own ideas about dressing, entrance examinations, and art, which are not all mainstream, but they are all the results of his exploration. Because there is a process of "solving", his description is particularly firm and vivid.

As for Xiaofei, he can't tell how patriotic the Beijing gentlemen are, he feels that his head is completely a stuffed container of traditional masculinity, and the core things seem to be grafted, not out of his experience and thinking.

Finally, although Enli is more than 20 years younger than Wang Xiaofei, he looks more like an adult who is in charge of himself, and Wang Xiaofei, the more she is in front of a big event, the more she can't do without the "great help" of her mother Zhang Lan. He is in his forties, but his mother's presence in his life is still ridiculous.

No, about Xiaofei's "feat" of making trouble at S's residence and the nearby police station, Ms. Zhang Lan once again sent a special video to come out on the scene, and she talked for more than five minutes, in fact, there are two meanings: first, this is a conspiracy;

is still this familiar words and familiar flavor, outsiders will always show their teeth and claws, and Xiaofei will always be innocent.

Just this logic, every minute reminds me of the "ground theory" taught by the older generation of children - the child falls, blames the ground, hits the ground, who wants him to hurt the baby.

This mode of thinking is the easiest way to cultivate a giant baby: always throw the pot out, trying to let the objective world always cater to him, then first, he will never be able to recognize the most real laws of operation of this world, and then adapt to it; second, he has to face the disparity of everything all the time.

If you fall down, you don't know how to take a detour, and you don't have to fall next time, but you can't beat your chest and break down in repeated setbacks.

Although "giant baby" has now become a curse word, the real giant baby is actually quite pitiful, and they have to endure the merciless mockery of the world at any time if they do not change their cognitive pattern for a moment.

Moreover, from the perspective of a 40-year-old adult, he is always said to be "simple", is he really happy? He is 40 years old, why is he always bullied? Why can you step on it every time someone else plays a trick? Can you also show your fangs and claws to bully others?

Anyone who has had a rebellious period knows that being said to be "difficult" by adults will have a little pride in their hearts.

Aggression is the source of a person's strength, always said to be simple, tantamount to being labeled as "incompetent", always emotionally doing something that has no substantive advancement, and it is indeed difficult for him to gain a very positive self-confidence, so he can only use the so-called "manhood" to make a little cover for himself.

On the whole, Wang Xiaofei's sensibility is greater than rationality, her sense of rules is weak, and she lacks deep self-confidence, which is also related to the cognitive limitations of her mother Zhang Lan herself (she herself explained how to be cut leeks by CVC), and it is also the "sequelae" of "lack of fatherhood and excessive motherhood" in the process of growing up.

The main task of the fatherhood is to pull the child out of the mother's arms to understand the world and meet the challenges, and if he has a deep collision and integration with the world, he will inevitably be solid, rational, and have a sense of strength, and become a boy with a relatively high degree of socialization as early as Enley.

If not, the child will be stuck in a persistent contradiction: relying on his mother in self-doubt, and trying to break free in the shroud of suffocation.

Isn't this a true portrayal of Wang Xiaofei?

Whether it is in his career or in the handling of family affairs, he can't walk independently without Zhang Lan's crutch, but on the other hand, whether it is publicly expressing his disgust with his mother's live broadcast, or involuntarily looking for a strong woman as a partner, it shows his strong desire to "fly solo".

This contradiction is also reflected in his intimate relationship, for Da S, an ex-wife who has lived together for ten years, he hates it to the bone and is reluctant to give up. This leads to the fact that in this divorce dispute, he is sticky for a while, and he is big news for a while, not like an ex-husband who broke off his righteousness, but more like a spoiled child, fighting for his mother's turn and attention in a capricious way.

Zhang Lan only knew how to scold her son for "cowardly eggs", and then conscientiously helped him deal with the aftermath, but as everyone knows, her son's "cowardice" stems precisely from the fact that he did not get enough warmth and freedom from his mother.

Wang Xiaofei's anger that can never be suppressed may not be directed at the "bad guy outside", but his mother who framed his vitality with a strong arm.

What is Love?

Configurations similar to Zhang Lan and Wang Xiaofei's mother and son are not uncommon in life, such as "Why is my mother so clever and my daughter is so stupid", "How did my father give birth to a stupid son who is so capable".

This is not due to the natural law of "one trade-off", but only shows that the parents of "dumb daughters" and "stupid sons" are likely to be parents, and they themselves are not as flawless as they seem.

It is precisely because of the lack of self-confidence that children will be treated as a container for human flesh, to put their negative emotions and not good enough side, "The problem is all in you, can't others pick on me".

In other words, if the child is regarded as a competitor, the bloom and brilliance of the next generation will cover the light of his own wealth, so he simply belittles, suppresses, and breaks his wings, so that he will always become a tool to foil himself.

They can't give children plenty of room to grow up, because their own psychological space itself is pitifully narrow, and they can't accommodate a real and independent living individual.

Whether it is parent-child, love or friendship, if the other party does not see you yourself, but always your own things - prestige, face, personal worth, etc., then there is no love in the relationship.

Love is flowing, through love, ideas, teachings, and styles of behavior can be naturally transmitted between each other, and the advantages of parents will naturally flow into the children's bodies.

She talked to herself, but he avoided it, and their closest relatives were also very alienated, so they could only use the feelings of family and country, royal blood, entrepreneurial spirit and stubborn enemies to tie an unsturdy united front.

Author: Mademoiselle Bovary

Follow me and read people's hearts and understand customs in the entertainment world.