(Love) Lemon candy: those loves that can no longer be spoken

If one day, someone you once loved and couldn't stand in front of you, what would you want to say to him or her?

　　1.

　　Late at night, when I saw this question, I had a thousand thoughts and all kinds of tastes rushed into my heart.

　　I was born in a small county, my parents got married very early, I had me in my early twenties, I remember when I was a child, I was basically carried by my grandparents in the countryside, and I never went to kindergarten, and the earliest kaizhi reading material was the yellowed mountain and sea scripture picture book pressed by my grandfather at the bottom of the box.

　　After going to elementary school, I felt that I was out of place with my classmates, basically they had been playing together since kindergarten, and I seemed to be an outsider, and I was not even good at kicking a shuttlecock. But also did not suffer from any exclusion, the classmates are still very friendly, will play with themselves, but most of the time seems to prefer to stay alone, especially in the fifth or sixth grade, can understand some of the relatively simple novel reading, as if suddenly opened the door to a new world, indulged in it, can not extricate themselves.

　　In junior high school, because of the work of my parents, I began to transfer schools frequently, changed three schools in three semesters, have been adapting to the new environment, and have not been able to establish a relatively stable relationship with classmates and friends, and at that sensitive age, my personality has become more and more withdrawn.

　　Then that time began to be fascinated by Annie Baby, Ming Xiaoxi, Guo Jingming and Han Han, killing Matt and the era of youth pain literature prevailed, always feeling as if she was the heroine abandoned by the world, all day sad and sad, no illness moaning.

　　Of course, my parents didn't care about these things, they only looked at the grades, so when I couldn't see the grades, the two of them discussed it, and put me in foster care at my aunt's house, who was teaching at a key middle school, and transferred me to another school by the way.

　　2.

　　When I first arrived at the new class, the whole person was depressed, especially in a class full of school bullies, the whole person completely lost confidence, and the learning was not enough, and the more anxious the worse the grades.

　　And at this moment, a boy broke into his life, became his own tablemate, and became the male protagonist of my story today, his name has a star, let's call him a star.

　　The stars are very good, not handsome in appearance, but very refreshing, full of juvenile atmosphere. Cheerful and humorous, he can easily mingle with the people around him, or a well-known school bully, sitting firmly in the first chair of the grade.

　　In order to save me, the second grade girl, the class teacher at that time arranged for him to be my tablemate. He's fine, if you don't ask him, he won't tell me a bunch of things to learn, occasionally bring me a dark dish to try on, sneak a copy of "Boys and Girls" or "New Lei" in my desk, share Jay Chou's CD for me...

　　All I saw in this guy was the positive and sunny side, he had excellent grades, he was versatile, he was lively and cheerful, and he sparkled in my eyes.

　　At the age when the love sinus first opened, the feelings at that time were hazy and shy, the deer in his heart was bumping, and the diary wrote page after page, but he would never break through the layer of paper, and he always felt that once he said it, something terrible would happen.

　　In this kind of youthful admiration, looking up at him following him, getting closer to him little by little, I don't know how I can have such perseverance and potential, it took a year and a half, I was squeezed from the tail of the crane into the top ten of the grade, from a lone walker to a pistachio in the eyes of my classmates and teachers.

　　Until now, looking back on the events of junior high school, the deepest impression is still the year and a half of his existence, and he also discovered and saved himself in that year and a half.

　　Therefore, it is almost predestined to fall in love with such a boy.

　　3.

　　But the story of the prince and Cinderella is a fairy tale after all, and I am not the heroine of his story.

　　On the holiday after graduating from junior high school, I folded 999 small stars, each of which had a whisper written on it, packed in a beautiful glass jar, ready to give it to him on his birthday, fantasizing about him taking them apart one by one, and discovering his own careful thoughts little by little.

　　But the little star of the jar did not have a chance to send it out after all, and when I saw him with great anticipation, I learned that he was with an inconspicuous girl in the class, and the mood at that time was sour and dark, and even secretly compared himself with each other, hoping that the two would break up early.

　　Fortunately, I just thought about it, in high school, I followed my parents to the field again, and the contact between my old classmates was getting less and less, at first a letter a month, then a letter every two months, and then a semester, and then I slowly broke off contact, after all, I had new friends, and the college entrance examination was in front, those small emotions were not worth mentioning.

　　Later, when we saw him at the class reunion in his freshman year, we were admitted to different schools in the same city, and he fell in love with the girl for three years, and finally the girl also broke through and was admitted to a college.

　　Later, there were occasional connections, around learning, around the profession, never mentioning the past, never mentioning personal feelings, but I knew they had always been together.

　　4.

　　I almost witnessed the whole process of their love, and I saw the best appearance of love in them.

　　The girl was unremarkable in junior high school, and when she studied hard for him in high school, she was admitted to a university; later, the boy guaranteed the graduate student of Q University, and the girl was angry and tried to be admitted to a double-first-class university graduate school; and then the boy submitted to the Ivy League doctoral student, and the female student followed closely behind and applied for a doctoral student place at a world-class university.

　　From high school to now, the two have walked hand in hand for fourteen years, making progress and growing together.

　　And I also received invitations from the two in the winter of the previous year, attended their wedding, and sent my most sincere wishes.

　　5.

　　This is the story of my crush, unrequited love from beginning to end, like the little star in the jar full of hearts, only I know it from beginning to end.

　　I have not been without dark thoughts, and I have thought of telling each other desperately, but I have never had the opportunity to do so, and I can't bear to destroy a very rare fairy love.

　　I am proud to say that the boy I have crushed is so good and affectionate.

　　So if you see him again, you will probably only say, "May you have no waves for the rest of your life, and someone will share your sorrows and joys." ”