What crime did Stefanie Sun commit?

文 | 伊姐（周桂伊） 叶子姚

A while ago, Yanzi Sun's sister publicly shouted the day before her birthday, and the relationship between the two has been very weak since 2019, and it is no longer a sisterhood.

She claims that she has lived in the shadows for more than twenty years and now just wants to be truly released and truly herself.

She expressed her apologies for her shortcomings as a younger sister, but she also did not want to face the harm of the outside world again.

Let's talk about the general background first, the Sun family has three sisters.

Her sister Sun Yanjia is a vice president of Barclays Bank of Singapore, and her sister Sun Yanmei is a master of medicine from the National University of Singapore.

Stefanie Sun, who graduated from Nanyang Technological University in Singapore, is widely recognized as a highly educated diva.

Because her sister looks very similar to Yanzi Sun, and is even recognized as a twin, among the three sisters of the Sun family, the two interact more in public, and the relationship seems to be closer.

Although it is not like the big and small S sisters who have joined together to break into the entertainment industry, they have also joined forces to do things.

For example, in 2009, Stefanie Sun was invited by the British brand The Carnaby to be a designer to launch the "Yanzi for the Carnaby" series, and would take her sister to shoot promotional posters together.

For example, in 2017, the sisters also worked together on a clothing brand.

In the early years, Stefanie Sun appeared on variety shows, and she couldn't escape the things between the two sisters who looked similar.

is as low-key as Stefanie Sun, who has become an "unpopular singer" in those years, not to mention exposing family affairs too much.

Therefore, when the public memory is still immersed in sisterhood, the sister's "severance" is caught off guard.

Why did the two sisters come to this?

Following Sun Yanmei's past information, I found that those undercurrent surging emotions may have long been a grass snake gray line, buried for thousands of miles.

In the past few years, her sister Sun Yanmei left Singapore and went to Australia to live alone.

Between her words, Singapore is not a distant homeland to be missed, but a sad place to escape.

The "he" in Weibo should be Stefanie Sun's father, and he has always preferred Stefanie Sun.

Sun Yanmei is nearly forty years old, has no intimate relationships, lacks close friends, and many times, lives alone alone.

As a promising medical master in the eyes of others, her career was not going well, because she didn't really want to be a doctor at all, so she stopped studying in medical school.

The fact that she interrupted her studies should be a thorn in her relationship with her family, and it is a contradiction that has not been reconciled so far.

This incident has brought her great pressure, trouble, and even what she thinks is "the ruin of reputation".

Sun Yanmei said that being a doctor was never her dream, but her parents' dream.

She didn't like it herself, so she later went to study law and economics herself.

(It must be said that Sun Yanzi and Sun Yanmei look too similar)

was forced by his parents to choose a major and occupation he didn't like, and he survived to middle age, with serious internal friction, and his enthusiasm was consumed, and he chose to "rebel" in middle age.

Encountering the obstruction of her parents, the incomprehension of others, and the pressure exerted by the "crowded society of Singapore", this is probably the "unbearable weight of life" at a certain stage of Sun Yanmei's life.

She is obviously inferior and lonely, and her perception of herself is "ordinary and hard-working, with no achievements in her career." I don't have any family relationships, and I don't have many friends."

From this point of view, Stefanie Sun's light is indeed too dazzling.

wrote songs in his teens, won the Golden Melody Award in his early twenties, and became an Asian diva who once defeated Jay Chou.

has reached the peak of his career quickly, and his fans have not been extinguished after several retirements, and even the silence of autonomy seems to be extremely free.

is not confused when many singers are chasing after the concert tour, she is still not in a hurry.

Every day he was urged to sing, and people did not show up, but they were never forgotten.

Getting married, having children, becoming a mother of two children, giving a lot of time to the family, parents and children, are accompanied a lot.

In life, there are teachers who have witnessed their growth and always kept in touch;

has her own small team, her father taught her law by herself, and also became a member of the team, accompanying her to perform in the north and south;

There are also sisters and old friends who have known each other for many years and still have a good personal relationship.

In the context of East Asian society, Stefanie Sun's life is like an answer sheet that is infinitely close to a perfect score.

Think about the women who were called "divas" in those years, from Anita Mui, Faye Wong, to Jolin Tsai, Sammi Cheng...... Now that I think about it, I have had ups and downs that I couldn't ask for, but only Yanzi Sun, outside of the "diva", lives a "fulfilling" life in the secular sense.

Of course, it's not advocating this kind of "consummation", it's just that such an Asian diva is Sun Yanmei's sister. There are no obvious loopholes that can make the younger sister put down her pride.

If this movie is told from the perspective of Sun Yanmei, it does have its cruelty.

Therefore, Sun Yanmei often emphasizes that she lives in the huge shadow of her star sister. It seems that every choice will be compared.

"I'm not a celebrity, but I don't live like a private person. ”

But looking at it all over, my sister's unconscious light is just a secondary line, and the ruggedness of the main line has long been destined in the eyes of her parents.

First of all, there is no contradiction of principle between Stefanie Sun and Yanmei Sun.

Although Sun Yanmei said that the relationship between the sisters was cold in 2019, she actually liked Sun Yanzi's related Weibo in the past two years;

also said frankly that her sister's financial help was "enough money", and she was not easy to be jealous.

In 2020, Sun Yanmei posted on Weibo about her experience working in a psychiatric hospital, and Sun Yanzi left a message: My sister is great.

Sun Yanmei also replied: My sister is okay.

Looking at Sun Yanmei's good and bad emotions and the mood of middle-aged people over the years, "living in the shadow of a superstar sister" is probably just the appearance of "sisters severing their relationship".

All the powerlessness and struggles still come from the troubles of the original family after all.

As she said, she had a bad relationship with her family and spent a long time healing herself.

Her parents put her dream of becoming a doctor, but she was unwilling, which probably became a kind of "disgrace" and "disobedience".

Living alone in Australia, her parents chose to spend their holidays elsewhere but did not visit her, which also became a scar in her heart.

She had mixed emotions about her mother and didn't want to be a doctor, which made her very disappointed in her.

On the contrary, for the "Asian diva" Stefanie Sun, her mother said "yes, it's very similar to me" very early on.

's father stayed with her sister, and Sun Yanmei expressed envy. Maybe it's been too long, and there has been no real communication and getting along.

Two days after she made the declaration of severing diplomatic relations, in the face of many speculations from netizens, Sun Yanmei stood up and said bluntly:

Compared with the preference of parents, it is more accurate to say "partial power".

She said that the only love she wanted was the Lord.

The subtext behind it is that the love you want is never satisfied in real life.

It is difficult for us to conclude what the family relationship between the Sun sisters is, because "housework" has always been the most difficult trade-off in the world.

But Sun Yanmei's state and relationship with her parents reminded me of two recent events.

First, Shao Yihui, the director of the movie "The Myth of Love", talked about his father and mother in the podcast.

Before "The Myth of Love", she graduated from the Literature Department of Beijing Film Academy, and she had three things to make a living: writing, helping her mother, and selling e-cigarettes.

In the face of her "not doing her job" and dangling life status, my mother felt that she was not in a hurry, it didn't matter, even if it was like this for the rest of her life, my pension could support you.

But my father was very angry, puzzled, and had a bad attitude.

Her mother was a teacher, her father was a lawyer, and the family structure of the intellectuals was very similar to that of the Sun family.

After "The Myth of Love", the mother is the same as always, and the father's attitude has taken a 180-degree turn, and now he cares more about her and communicates with her.

Another thing is that "Flowers" is on the air, Miss Wang is popular, and everyone understands the significance of 85 flowers Tang Yan "hibernating" for three years, this time it can be regarded as raising eyebrows.

During her filming of "Flowers", her father picked her up from work every day, and for three consecutive years, as long as Tang Yan went home, her father waited at the intersection.

Her father is an administrator, her mother is an employee of a foreign company, and Tang Yan, who has been pampered since she was a child, has the same confidence as Miss Wang's resilience.

Of course, the cliché "family of origin" cannot affect a person's life, but how much energy a person has to shape his life in countless choices, and the relationship with his parents can never be unrelated.

The rebellion of the "giant baby" sister Sun Yanmei to middle age, and the shadow of the "superstar" sister for more than 20 years probably come from the lack that a person has not been able to make a firm choice since he was a child.

In fact, I think on the B side of the story, is Stefanie Sun really as happy as we think?

At least I think that when I am over 40 years old, my father's financial management is still indispensable.

The potential for control behind this is completely unacceptable to me.

I tend to think that my sisters and sisters are right, the true mentality and stereotypical standards of parents, remind all parents of multiple children, although parents are also human beings and not gods, but remember that you are making the world, please be more self-conscious and grow.

A person's "self-confidence" is not blown by the wind, not boiled out of "chicken soup", but constantly raised by concrete life.

Or to be loved, or to accomplish something, or to be loved in the heart.

In this sense, we who are middle-aged do not have to live a "successful life".

Living a life with an anchor in your heart and being able to laugh out loud every day is the highest reward of fate.

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