I still remember how that transformation happened, when I was 49 years old, less than three months after my husband and I were married, and we were still in the sweet stages of love. That day, I saw a big durian in the vegetable market, and the sweet taste came to my nose, and I couldn't help but buy it for 220 yuan. When I got home, I happily told my husband, "We can share and eat durian together tonight, I bought it for you." He frowned and said coldly, "I don't like to eat durian." ”
I couldn't believe my ears, I had already said that I would invite him to eat delicious durian tomorrow, how could he not like it? This time he didn't like durian, and next time he would not like it, and I clearly felt that there might be trouble in getting along in the future. I decided to have a good talk with him.
I sat down in front of him with a small table of durians and knives, and I tentatively asked, "Honey, don't you appreciate my intentions?" and he was silent for a moment, then suddenly said loudly, "I still can't adjust to our lives, I want a divorce." ”
I was stunned. We have only been married for less than three months, how can he file for divorce? I looked at him in amazement, my eyes full of reluctance and disappointment. He said indifferently: "We can't get along, it's better to separate early." His words left me feeling lost and scared, and I didn't know how to deal with it. I looked at him with confusion and helplessness in my heart.
The initial happiness and expectation instantly broke into endless loss and helplessness. I began to think about how much I had given in this marriage, and if there was something I hadn't done well enough, and I even began to doubt myself and my feelings. I don't know what to do next, how I'm going to deal with this. For a moment, I felt like the whole world was collapsing.
Just then, my phone rang, it was a friend's call. She asked me how I was doing, and I couldn't help but express my confusion. She was silent for a moment, then said, "Maybe he didn't really want a divorce, maybe he just lost his way." You can also sit down and have a good talk and find the feeling in each other's hearts. ”
After listening to her words, I gradually felt a glimmer of hope in my heart. Perhaps, we still have room to redeem. I decided to go to him and find a chance to have a good talk. When I saw him, I tentatively asked him, "Is there really no way we can be together again?" and he was silent for a moment, then whispered, "Maybe it's worth our effort." ”
I looked at him in surprise, and my heart was full of gratitude and hope. Perhaps, we really still have a chance. I decided to give our marriage a chance to start over and regain the happiness it once was.
We began to work on realigning the way we got to each other. I try to pour as much love and care into him as I can, hoping to rekindle the fire of love between us. And he also took the initiative to care about the big and small things in the family, and we seemed to be making changes for this marriage.
However, new contradictions have crept in. One night, he suddenly offered to move back to live with his ex-wife. He explained that it was to take better care of the child, which left me in deep pain. I couldn't accept his decision to leave me and go back to my ex-wife, it was like a sharp knife into my heart.
We were arguing, and the inexplicable contradictions wrenched my heart. I don't understand why he did this, why can't he communicate with me and understand and find a better solution. The love and effort between us seemed to have come to naught, and all that was left was endless strife and hurt in front of us.
I didn't expect that there would be so many twists and turns, so many pains and unsolvable entanglements in my marriage. I need time and space to calm down, and maybe we can calm each other for a while. I looked at his helpless eyes, and all kinds of contradictory emotions welled up in my heart.
None of us could have imagined that the difficulties and conflicts in our marriage would make us so exhausted. I didn't know what to do next, but did it mean the end of our marriage or a new beginning?
Late at night, my husband and I sat in the living room. His face was solemn, as if he had something on his mind. I asked him nervously, "What's wrong? Is there something you haven't told me?" He was silent for a moment, and then said, "Actually, my ex-wife and I have a child, a 7-year-old daughter. ”
My heart instantly cooled, I didn't expect that his past would have such a big secret. I tried to stay calm and asked him why he kept hiding it. He explained that he had previously felt that this past was not important and that his ex-wife had not allowed him to see his daughter. Recently, however, he learned that his ex-wife had died and that the children had been entrusted to his parents, and his guilt and sense of responsibility had intensified. He began to feel like it was time to tell me.
I fell silent, and my heart was full of irritability and grievances that I couldn't reconcile. I understand my husband's predicament, but I feel hurt when he is hiding something so important. I asked myself, how should I deal with his past feelings and his children?
As the days passed, our relationship became strained, I felt bitter about my husband, and he became more and more negative and silent. This state of contradiction lasted for some time, and no solution was found. There is always an unspeakable gap that keeps us drifting apart.
However, at this moment, I also know that we cannot just give up. I knew that there was still a chance that this family could be recovered, so I decided to go to him and have a good heart-to-heart conversation.
I'm going to start replanning our lives, hoping to slowly bring us closer together. However, just when I thought everything was slowly going to fall back into place, something happened.
One day, I was looking through my husband's phone and found some disturbing information that made me start to doubt our marriage. I noticed that the chat history between him and a woman didn't look like an exchange between ordinary friends. I was shocked and outraged that my husband would hide such a thing from me. I decided to talk to him.
"I found out what you had chatted with someone, what the hell happened?" I asked him directly. He looked a little flustered, and hesitantly explained, "It's just a work partner, it's not a big deal." But I couldn't believe his explanation, and I felt betrayed and hurt. The tension between us has intensified, which has made our relationship even more strained.
Our conflicts escalated, and communication between us became more and more difficult. I began to doubt his every word and deed, and even his every move was magnified by me. The sweetness we once had was gradually replaced by suspicion and suspicion, and I don't know how the problems between us came about, or whether there was any room for redemption in our relationship.
Perhaps, we have really come to an end, and I feel extremely painful and disappointed about all this. I don't know what to do and whether our marriage can go on. My heart was full of struggles and contradictions, and I chose to hold on or let go. It was a difficult decision, and I didn't know where to go.
I worked with him to try to re-enter each other's world and resolve the conflicts in our relationship. However, life always seems to have some unpleasant moments unexpectedly. Once, out of the blue, he said to me, "You've always been like this, why can't you do better?"
This sentence undoubtedly hurt me deeply. I felt like I was trying to manage the marriage, yet he seemed to be constantly watching for my shortcomings. I was disappointed and aggrieved, and I began to wonder if he still had faith in our marriage. During this time, I fell into deep self-doubt and wondered if I still had value in my marriage.
I started to get emotional, and the conflict between us intensified. Sometimes I would lock myself in my room and not talk to him all day. He will also become more cold and helpless because of my attitude. The distance between us grew further and further, and I began to wonder if there was any chance of a new start in our marriage.
By chance, I met a friend. She told me that conflict in relationships is a norm, and that if we can be honest with each other, we may be able to salvage our relationship. She asked me to go to him, sit down and have a good talk, and also let me figure out what I really thought in my heart.
I decided to follow her advice and I found him. We sat together and I told him how I felt inside. I hope that we can be honest with each other, understand each other, and resolve our conflicts. He also listened attentively to what I was saying, and at the end he was silent.
One day, when I was packing up the dinner table early and waiting for him to come home, he suddenly made a draining request, he wanted me to quit my job and focus on taking care of my family. He thought that as a husband, he should be the sole breadwinner of the family, and that I should give up my career and go along with his expectations. I was shocked and angry, and I couldn't help but ask him, "Aren't we equal? Why should I sacrifice my career? Do you want me to give up everything for the sake of an impossible family ideal?"
Our contradictions have become more and more acute, and I don't know what to do. I realized that our problems are not as simple as they seem, but involve deeper issues. Perhaps, we need a real communication to get to the root of the problem. But now I find it difficult to be honest with all this, and I am deeply confused and helpless, not knowing where to go from here. I'll have to think hard about what to do next.